This quite personal anpd not something I generally share. I did grow up poor in an inner city slum with my foreign accent and looks, I was malnourished, skinny, and abused sexually, physically and verbally by my father. He is in prison for that plus what he did to my mum, brother and sister. I still live in fear of him because one day he will be free and he is a grudge holder, in his head he is innocent. My mum and siblings went back to Sweden. I have no family from my side here anymore (but I'm lucky enough to have my husband and kids and in laws). I don't have a father, he is dead to me as you can imagine. There is no loving support network on my side. There is a lot of trauma and I have chronic health issues due to some of what happened to me and my family. I've suffered further trauma as an adult including sexual assault from someone else and the near death of my child. My husband has lost 7 family members in quick succession since 2020, I've lost 3. Naturally this has affected all of us as a family. We are no strangers to trauma. At times I've thought my life is like something out of a soap opera. I just want a quiet calm life like most people. I'm not broken but I'm not whole either. And I'm angry. I'm angry that a charlatan like Jack can appropriate experiences and trauma like mine and act as though she is severely affected. I doubt even 10% of what she says is true. Her poverty was of her own making, I didn't have a choice about my poverty, I didn't have a choice about having an abusive narc parent and yet I have live with his mistakes. Unless you are in that position, you have no idea of the shame and humiliation that comes with speaking in a court room full of strangers about your experiences, about seeing people who know you are related to a criminal. It fucking hurts. But I'm trying so hard to break the trauma and not pass down my anxiety and ptsd to my kids. Jack is so unbelievably privileged compared to me. She has a healthy child, loving parents nearby, no need to worry about bills, no fear of a criminal (she has no stalker) and no horrible memories that rise up in her dreams or at random times during the day.
She came from love but has none to give. I came from a selfish piece of crap and I have so much love to give despite that. Its strange how these things go. I'll never not be grateful for the good people and things in my life. Jack has so much to be grateful for. So did my father, he had 3 healthy kids he could have cherished and loved but chose not to. My poverty experience is over 30 years old now but what happened to me is still happening to children in the UK. It should not be Jack who speaks for them. There must be hundreds if not thousands of mums and dads who should be given Jack's platform based on their very legitimate experiences.
Jack, I know you read here, don't be like my father. Love and cherish your son. Make him feel like the most important and precious person in the world, shower him with love and quality time. Make him feel valued, listen to him, engage with him on his favourite topics. You only get one shot at this, make it count. Your son is your world.