Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

[Bugger13]

But how’s Jack going to grift if she can’t play victim? The only reason she manages to make a living is by claiming she’s subject to death threats & vile abuse. Even though the only ‘abuse’ I’ve ever seen proof of is the odd polite question like ‘are you vegan?’ on Twitter. Now that it’s backfired because apparently a white knight squig has actually taken action she’s screwed.
Oh what a pickle. No wonder she needs a holiday.

 

[jenny2603]

Oh is that what the VBI is? Because that’s literally what trolley.co.uk does. It’s a website where you can enter a product, see the prices at all the major supermarkets and see a graph that shows whether the price has gone up or down. So she’s basically making something that’s already a site but worse?

Has trolley.co.uk ever made a sanitary towel from a Metro?

 

[Jelly Bean]

Has trolley.co.uk ever made a sanitary towel from a Metro?

Speaking of which has Jack shared any of her 'Shop Smart' hygiene hacks for Superdrug yet?
Such an inspirational brand ambassador.

 

[Ostapbender]

Taxes: unpaid
Package: unopened
Gun: returned
Police: knocking

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

When the police come a-knocking, Monroe goes a-Jocking

 

[Five hundred dogs]

The most frustrating think about the Vandalised Beans Index is the way so many people seem to think it actually exists and heap praise on Jack for its creation. It’s like she’s found a magic way to get all the accolades with none of the actual work (which is basically her dream way of existence).

 

[Ostapbender]

When the police come a-knocking, Monroe goes a-Jocking

jumping in Hazza's big car, flooring it up the M1 like an unsexy Bonnie and Clyde...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Has trolley.co.uk ever made a sanitary towel from a Metro?

Never mind that, Jenny. The more pressing question is has Jack ever made a pair of these out of a sanitary towel Metro?

The silence is deafening! I keep thinking that it’s a silent protest, but that’s not really Jack’s style!
Probably away with OH again. Must be the only way to avoid the slop!

Better that than a dirty protest. #JusticeForIqbal

 

[jenny2603]

But how’s Jack going to grift if she can’t play victim? The only reason she manages to make a living is by claiming she’s subject to death threats & vile abuse. Even though the only ‘abuse’ I’ve ever seen proof of is the odd polite question like ‘are you vegan?’ on Twitter. Now that it’s backfired because apparently a white knight squig has actually taken action she’s screwed.
Oh what a pickle. No wonder she needs a holiday.

This will never not be funny. If she starts on about threats again when the dust settles she can be reminded that she regards any intervention in these daily threats as malicious so there's nothing anyone can do.

I always thought she'd run into problems because someone took a serious look at her grift but for to end up with a red face because someone fell for her lies is hilarious.

Well done White Knight- the accidental hero.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Well done White Knight- the accidental hero.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

If she doesn’t tweet soon, the Rozzers will be back at her door because her mithering followers will think something’s happened to her.

“Oh Derek, that wise Jack Monroe hasn’t Twittered for a while. I’m going to give the Chief Constable a ring, he was so hopefully when someone left that ridiculous gun in the middle of the street last weekend”

 

[Orphan_Black]

Speaking of which has Jack shared any of her 'Shop Smart' hygiene hacks for Superdrug yet?
Such an inspirational brand ambassador.

She never follows through with anything! No trifle recipe either.

It's always 'I'll ping you tomorrow' because it's down/up stairs and she is lazy. However, when the union wanted to book her she instantly checked her diary and booked herself up quicker than a buttery snake. (That really made me lol, she could have just checked the date and replied, the first tweet was so billy big bollocks busy work vibe.)

Also, hate the term 'ping'.

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

Does anybody know how many lever arch files Jack has?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh is that what the VBI is? Because that’s literally what trolley.co.uk does. It’s a website where you can enter a product, see the prices at all the major supermarkets and see a graph that shows whether the price has gone up or down. So she’s basically making something that’s already a site but worse?

Yeah. Gawd love em, I think they offered to help her by sharing their data, in the early flurry.

Taxes: unpaid
Package: unopened
Gun: returned
Police: knocking

Is it too early for a nom nom nom

 

[colouredlines]

BTW Github is usually used when you're working collaboratively. I can easily imagine one of the initial flurry of well-meaning nerds setting it up, showing Jack how to upload files, then fleeing in terror at the "data" she provided.

 

[PowerliftingOtter]

Loving the passive aggression here…

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Also, hate the term 'ping'.

Same. It makes my skin itch when she uses it.

 

[jenny2603]

She never follows through with anything! No trifle recipe either.

It's always 'I'll ping you tomorrow' because it's down/up stairs and she is lazy. However, when the union wanted to book her she instantly checked her diary and booked herself up quicker than a buttery snake. (That really made me lol, she could have just checked the date and replied, the first tweet was so billy big bollocks busy work vibe.)

Also, hate the term 'ping'.

You'd think as she routinely works 100 hour weeks and only gets time off when she's softly, gently whisked away by concerned friends/OHs/Family etc she'd know she isn't available.

Also Jack informs us here that for some inexplicable reason she handles casework, supporting benefit claims and appeals as part of her 100 hour week. How can she commit to anything additional , knowing that an appeal could come it at short notice? As she has no staff or support then no one can step in and handle the claim/appeal for her. There's also quite a lot of paper involved in benefit appeals, I do hope the bundles are being stored correctly as I'd hate ICO squig to have cause to complain again.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Does anybody know how many lever arch files Jack has?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

The thing about trusting anything Jack does or says though is that you can't. What would she do if she started adding all these receipts to her mystical spreadsheets and found she was in fact wrong. She's gonna pick and choose info that makes it seem that she was right. Isn't this generally why there professional people paid to do this job like uh...the ONS?