Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

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Well that mortgage calculator, indicates it’s more than her rent not less
Depends how much patreon cash she's squirrelled away! If the mortgage is a third of her rent (is that what she claims? Or half?) Lets meet in the middle and say £800pm mortgage on the other place that's half a mill - that would require a deposit of, ooh, £345k or so...!!!
 
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The Urban Decay palette can only do so much, dear heart
 
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I’m lost. She said earlier that the Number 1 thing was something she was asked if she’d consider a while ago? Who asks you if a property is something you’d consider?

Also, her OH helps her to sort her “health things” WTF? Is she 95? Run Harold!
* Insert Whoopi “Molly, you in danger girl” gif here *
 
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Evening lovelies
I just want to say how beautiful the flats are. Can you imagine though? All that combined weight of her tatt and hoarding... she'd be living in a ground floor flat instantly if it all fell through.
And CLEAN. sad if that mucky mare got her hands on any of them....
 
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So I am not only being trolled by QI, tonight I am watching the restoration of a stained glass window, from an orangery
 
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Fantasy or not, would she really move to a flat with lift access when she has Cooper ? Where would he play ? Room for a hutch ? .
She is absolutely horrible.
 
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Right a few questions

I can help with

3. How do you phenomenally fall down the stairs?
1. Woefully distracted by own reflection in mirror AND windows/all shiny surfaces at top of stairs, with a lone thought running on loop through head

2. Falls down stairs due to 1.

Here is “a paid actor” in one that was prepared earlier to demonstrate. Like one of those PSAs from the 1970s
 
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Falling down stairs inside a bungalow does sound like an extraordinary phenomenon, to be fair. One for the X-Files
 
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So tax bill paid (apparently?) and talk of buying a house all in the last couple of days - what do we reckon then: finally cracking open her savings, bank of mum&dad/grandad (who’s DEAD), or being bankrolled by Harold??
 
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It’s basically my number one hobby. I’ve had literally thousands of dream houses fall through. Such is my life of oppression
 
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So tax bill paid (apparently?) and talk of buying a house all in the last couple of days - what do we reckon then: finally cracking open her savings, bank of mum&dad/grandad (who’s DEAD), or being bankrolled by Harold??
If she is genuinely in a position to buy (and not lying), then its either:

1) Daddy MBE has brought forward the inheritance
2) OH is minted and helping her out
3) lol jk she's lying 19 quid in the bank innit?
 
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So tax bill paid (apparently?) and talk of buying a house all in the last couple of days - what do we reckon then: finally cracking open her savings, bank of mum&dad/grandad (who’s DEAD), or being bankrolled by Harold??
Maybe all those “boys” were so scared they SETTLED!
 
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