Jack Monroe #310 Stay pressed, fools!

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definitelynotvlad

Moon Face said:
It takes longer to cook a stuffed chicken, which doesn't seem good advice in terms of fuel costs. I use half a box of 29p stuffing mixture from Aldi and put it in at the same time as cooking my chicken.
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Not entirely on topic, but my local aldi didn’t have any stuffing mix in yesterday. Oh how I wailed and clawed and gnashed in the aisles! Considering doing a viral Twitter thread to demand they bring it back immediately tbh, I’m sure everyone will clap.
 
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trueblue222

That actually is a recipe. The mushroom and tea one but that person has flung mushy peas on the plate

If my football team were in a race for the title and it went to the wire I’d be talking about it on twitter...... she’s not a Liverpool fan.

On that subject I don’t support Everton but I’ve been gripped by it and I am now rooting for Burnley.
 
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Hackastory

Ostapbender said:
"I’m sorry, I whispered, sloping out to punch a wall in the corridor" is so funny to me. Yeah yeah we need to pay Jack a LIVING WAGE for her screeds about gentle wall punching and slop
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I must be doing life wrong. I have never punched a wall. It seems a very strange way to behave

FrannyGallops said:
Are they…mushy peas? With bourguignon?! Call the police! I want to report a hate crime.
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That is disgusting
 
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trueblue222

FrannyGallops said:
Are they…mushy peas? With bourguignon?! Call the police! I want to report a hate crime.
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That is absolutely a hate crime of epic proportions

edited to say I like the thought of mushy peas but if I ever ate them it would be on their own with vinegar. I just don’t think they go with anything. I know some people might eat them with pie and mash but that’s it for me.
 
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NellieBoo

Not capers, surely . Anyway, that's nice, isn't it? That what everyone does with recipe books don't they? I'm pretty sure That Man would encourage it. Doesn't involve wanging all manner of stuff into a pan either.

I can't eat puttanesca on account of ordering it at a lovely place on a greek island about 18 years ago. I was very, very pregnant, only weeks gone, I had an inkling but didn't want to confirm until I safely home. Sad
 
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Semi_literate_bot

In response to Jack's 'I've paid my taxes' post. Her fans being as delightful as ever to somebody reasonably and politely questioning their leader!




ETA Jack liked the get in the sea comment
 
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Soapy Dolphin

In theory, Jack's success story could earn her more money than the griftathon. Everyone likes a "from the gutter to rich bitch" tale. I say in theory because The Monroe Method ™ isn’t exactly ethical or easily repeatable. You have to gain a small amount of notoriety, get lucky and have the screaming hab-dabs on Twitter every other day.

Still, get that talk tour booked, get the book done (The Monroe Method in 10 Easy Steps). She could branch out to other things (I’m warming to the subject now). Merchandise obviously, and we know she loves a slogan. Monroe Me Up on a T shirt?
How to Monroe your wardrobe: you have a stunt wardrobe from the charity shop and then your real wardrobe full of Tiffany earrings, DM’s, non vegan hats etc.

Think on, Sugarplum.
 
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Amanda Lin

Ostapbender said:
"I’m sorry, I whispered, sloping out to punch a wall in the corridor" is so funny to me. Yeah yeah we need to pay Jack a LIVING WAGE for her screeds about gentle wall punching and slop
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“ to everyone in London I looked mad, I was mad”

Nobody ever in London has ever paid anyone any attention, in the entire history of London. She’s so obsessed with how people view her.
 
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NellieBoo

Geetbo said:
In fairness this comes from the poisoned pen of the woman who teamed up prunes and cod spunk.
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Of course. What a silly ninny I am. I still haven't recovered from horse semen flung over a mushroom mush lasagne. It'll thickened up in the oven*.


*It won't.
 
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Phillipa78

Semi_literate_bot said:
In response to Jack's 'I've paid my taxes' post. Her fans being as delightful as ever to somebody reasonably and politely questioning their leader!

View attachment 1286044 View attachment 1286078


ETA Jack liked the get in the sea comment
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The absolute arrogance. She's totally Streisanded herself on this one. Wonder how many hits her accounts have had over the last few months?! Just wait until they're finally up there and the questions explode. Don't question Jack, the supreme antagonist must never be doubted!
 
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NellieBoo

She's holding up a whole body of people though. Remember that. She is the Wind Beneath Their Wings. Or the Guff Beneath the Glide as another frau described it .
 
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DisgruntledGoat

So Jack in The Before Times was simultaneously gorging herself on parma ham, artichokes and black truffle served on her Denby plates and getting Abel and Cole deliveries, but also only owned one Jamie Oliver 30 min meals cookbook and had to make subs on the posh ingredients?

Sheila, god rest your soul, you had Jack’s number. I don’t think even she has any idea what’s true and what’s fabrication anymore.
 
Reactions: 56
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