Jack Monroe #301 Jack Monroe Cheap and Cheerless

[colouredlines]

On the subject of rice...

So first of all, she hasn't got a clue. Different types of rice have different properties. It's actually very helpful for literal food experts to explain that, rather than claiming everything is interchangeable...try making sushi with long grain rice and you'll have a sad little pile of grains and a couple of pieces of fish. And Jack, if your risotto is "soupy", you've put in too much liquid. Where I live, the cheapest and most readily available rice is short-grain. I don't try to make a pilaf from it, because much as I like pilaf, that's just not going to work well.

Think of potatoes: if you've ever tried to mash a waxy potato, or make salad from a floury one, you'll understand. And if you don't realise the reason behind that - because some bleeping idiot on Twitter is saying "everything is interchangeable!" - you may well lose confidence in the kitchen.

Secondly, dismissing all critics as "food snobs" is offensive and ignorant. Risotto is a word with a specific definition, and Italians (and food lovers everywhere) get pissed off by the misuse of the word to describe something that plainly is not risotto. Here, we get annoyed by British people who insist that chorizo belongs in paella. No. Just like if I, as a foreigner, share my recipe for traditional, authentic British fish & chips, based on a tin of tuna, British people would be deeply unimpressed.

The worst thing, though, is that Jack does exactly what she claims to hate. Remember the trifle incident? Jack made an entire Twitter thread sneering at other trifles, and insisting that the One True Trifle is whatever tit her dad dished up. You can't do that and then act like the Italians are unreasonable for defending risotto. You just can't.

PS one of my favourite cookery writers, Makiko Itoh, wrote this about rice. Look at the difference when you have someone who actually cares about their subject... https://justhungry.com/2007/01/looking_at_rice.html

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Meanwhile I'm hoping it's Heather Mills.

Nah, she is 100% vegan and she was married a multi millionaire. She's not familiar with Jack's body of work. Allegra is a pov compared to Macca. Jack and Heather don't have that much in common, gobbiness and a taste for older rich men maybe.
How amazing would it be though, if Heather discovered tattle, became a viggle and cancelled Jack on twitter I believe she has a 100% success rate too.

 

[MooBelle]

When I heard orange sugar I had to find out what that was, turns out I'd already reacted to where it was posted and had forgotten

She presents all this using the peel stuff as if it's to save money. When unless you buy the expensive non treated and organic stuff I don't think you should really be eating it at all

Just checked my budget citrus
View attachment 1253881

Is that the wax on the fruit? That looks scary, @heretoreaditall2019 don't let your husband eat anymore!!!

 

[Semi_literate_bot]

On the subject of rice...

So first of all, she hasn't got a clue. Different types of rice have different properties. It's actually very helpful for literal food experts to explain that, rather than claiming everything is interchangeable...try making sushi with long grain rice and you'll have a sad little pile of grains and a couple of pieces of fish. And Jack, if your risotto is "soupy", you've put in too much liquid. Where I live, the cheapest and most readily available rice is short-grain. I don't try to make a pilaf from it, because much as I like pilaf, that's just not going to work well.

Think of potatoes: if you've ever tried to mash a waxy potato, or make salad from a floury one, you'll understand. And if you don't realise the reason behind that - because some bleeping idiot on Twitter is saying "everything is interchangeable!" - you may well lose confidence in the kitchen.

Secondly, dismissing all critics as "food snobs" is offensive and ignorant. Risotto is a word with a specific definition, and Italians (and food lovers everywhere) get pissed off by the misuse of the word to describe something that plainly is not risotto. Here, we get annoyed by British people who insist that chorizo belongs in paella. No. Just like if I, as a foreigner, share my recipe for traditional, authentic British fish & chips, based on a tin of tuna, British people would be deeply unimpressed.

The worst thing, though, is that Jack does exactly what she claims to hate. Remember the trifle incident? Jack made an entire Twitter thread sneering at other trifles, and insisting that the One True Trifle is whatever tit her dad dished up. You can't do that and then act like the Italians are unreasonable for defending risotto. You just can't.

PS one of my favourite cookery writers, Makiko Itoh, wrote this about rice. Look at the difference when you have someone who actually cares about their subject... https://justhungry.com/2007/01/looking_at_rice.html

Yes yes yes, exactly this. Brilliantly put!

Also thanks for that link, very interesting and will definitely check out more of their stuff!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Grunking here so I apologise if this lands awkwardly.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers in my 30's (In my 50's now) and it took me until just before lockdown to 'come out' about it.
Because of her, I will NEVER tell another living soul.
I find it genuinely upsetting the way she talks about it and us and I don't want people to see me through her horrific lens.

 

[trueblue222]

Her life is hugely cushy. How long has it been since she’s had proper paid work? The Del Monte collaboration?

She’s spent the last decade writing a book every 18 months or so. Talking head work and collaborations and what else? Writing for the guardian?

That takes 100 hours a week? Like she needs Nigella to tell people to send her money but she’s so successful and doesn’t have six spare minutes in her diary.

If you are SO successful Jack then why are your followers paying your bills?

Because you can’t claim UC? You can’t get a proper salaried job? You just want to twit around on twitter?

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

View attachment 1253351
Bringing this forward from the last thread because I'd hate for anyone to miss it.

Also that sugar stuff. Nancy from Bake Off was all over the telly telling folk they could do this to save money. Jack, pet lamb, it’s YOU they don’t want, because to be fair, you’re shite at it.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

On the subject of rice...

So first of all, she hasn't got a clue. Different types of rice have different properties. It's actually very helpful for literal food experts to explain that, rather than claiming everything is interchangeable...try making sushi with long grain rice and you'll have a sad little pile of grains and a couple of pieces of fish. And Jack, if your risotto is "soupy", you've put in too much liquid. Where I live, the cheapest and most readily available rice is short-grain. I don't try to make a pilaf from it, because much as I like pilaf, that's just not going to work well.

Think of potatoes: if you've ever tried to mash a waxy potato, or make salad from a floury one, you'll understand. And if you don't realise the reason behind that - because some bleeping idiot on Twitter is saying "everything is interchangeable!" - you may well lose confidence in the kitchen.

Secondly, dismissing all critics as "food snobs" is offensive and ignorant. Risotto is a word with a specific definition, and Italians (and food lovers everywhere) get pissed off by the misuse of the word to describe something that plainly is not risotto. Here, we get annoyed by British people who insist that chorizo belongs in paella. No. Just like if I, as a foreigner, share my recipe for traditional, authentic British fish & chips, based on a tin of tuna, British people would be deeply unimpressed.

The worst thing, though, is that Jack does exactly what she claims to hate. Remember the trifle incident? Jack made an entire Twitter thread sneering at other trifles, and insisting that the One True Trifle is whatever tit her dad dished up. You can't do that and then act like the Italians are unreasonable for defending risotto. You just can't.

PS one of my favourite cookery writers, Makiko Itoh, wrote this about rice. Look at the difference when you have someone who actually cares about their subject... https://justhungry.com/2007/01/looking_at_rice.html

All rice to Monroe:

 

[Captainmouse]

Absolutely x

Although as I understand it, Romesh Ranganathan is
1) not white or especially posh
2) tattooed
and
3) on the telly lots

Must be just cookery shows the beeb doesn’t want common and coarse mavericks for.

Here is big Zuu who I mentioned earlier, winning a bafta for his cooking show

She could approach production companies, who actually make the shows, and they would pitch to the channels, not everything is made in house.
freemantle make QI, BGT, grand designs all shown on different channels. Bake off wasn’t made by the beeb

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

She doesn’t half talk a load of garbage

 

[Five hundred dogs]

On the subject of rice...

So first of all, she hasn't got a clue. Different types of rice have different properties. It's actually very helpful for literal food experts to explain that, rather than claiming everything is interchangeable...try making sushi with long grain rice and you'll have a sad little pile of grains and a couple of pieces of fish. And Jack, if your risotto is "soupy", you've put in too much liquid. Where I live, the cheapest and most readily available rice is short-grain. I don't try to make a pilaf from it, because much as I like pilaf, that's just not going to work well.

Think of potatoes: if you've ever tried to mash a waxy potato, or make salad from a floury one, you'll understand. And if you don't realise the reason behind that - because some bleeping idiot on Twitter is saying "everything is interchangeable!" - you may well lose confidence in the kitchen.

Secondly, dismissing all critics as "food snobs" is offensive and ignorant. Risotto is a word with a specific definition, and Italians (and food lovers everywhere) get pissed off by the misuse of the word to describe something that plainly is not risotto. Here, we get annoyed by British people who insist that chorizo belongs in paella. No. Just like if I, as a foreigner, share my recipe for traditional, authentic British fish & chips, based on a tin of tuna, British people would be deeply unimpressed.

The worst thing, though, is that Jack does exactly what she claims to hate. Remember the trifle incident? Jack made an entire Twitter thread sneering at other trifles, and insisting that the One True Trifle is whatever tit her dad dished up. You can't do that and then act like the Italians are unreasonable for defending risotto. You just can't.

PS one of my favourite cookery writers, Makiko Itoh, wrote this about rice. Look at the difference when you have someone who actually cares about their subject... https://justhungry.com/2007/01/looking_at_rice.html

There’s nothing wrong with cooking up some long grain rice and mixing it up with vegetables, protein and seasoning, it’s a great way to use up leftovers and random veg. What you can’t do is call it risotto or paella or biryani (or any other traditional rice) dish because it’s not, they are specific things and use particular types of rice.

 

[Geetbo]

I do have to question the sanity of her publishers letting her do another blend-your-own slops manual.

Her last few have sold absolute piss all, and she's actually an even worse cook now so what are they thinking?

 

[bananasplit88]

Never not at it.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I do have to question the sanity of her publishers letting her do another blend-your-own slops manual.

Her last few have sold absolute piss all, and she's actually an even worse cook now so what are they thinking?

An even worse cook with even less ideas. Lord knows what concoctions are going to appear in that book. If we thought the pumble was bad...

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Apologies for what may be a longer post. But I really am struggling with Jack's continued assertions that she works 100hours a week, and it's giving me some 'bad mentals.'

Spoiler: TW: Depression, Suicide

As I mentioned previously when Jack talked about her episode in the bathtub, I was once suicidal during my 20's due to work-related depression.

At the time I had a (more than) full time role; complicated further by having 2 people overseeing me who disagreed on the outcomes for my role. I also had another voluntary role at a social project, and was studying alongside it. At one point I sat down with a mentor and worked out I was doing 80+ hours a week, not including things like travel time between stuff.

By doing this I had no time to cook for myself, and was living off lunch at work & dinner from the takeaway (often eating enough to tide me over till lunch the next day). My social life was almost 0 because I had no time, or energy, to see friends or family. And despite some interest I found it impossible to maintain any kind of romantic relationship. This lasted for 2 years, at which point I had to take 6 weeks of sick leave, before ultimately changing roles.

I find it genuinely hurtful that Jack's pretending to do a further 20hours a week than that, and still having time for time away, huge social media sessions, romantic/family meals and even stuff like hobbies (e.g. local election stuff). I was a husk of a person during that period, and lived in a state of constant tension. I fully burned out in the end, and even now I still have some overhanging effects from it.

It's genuinely infuriating that she pretends this is her reality, as well as cosplaying poverty.

I'm sorry for losing my temper about this, but I really don't think she comprehends the damage she causes to so many people online by pretending to cope with what is actually a reality for many people.

Rev, I get it.

Spoiler: More long hour chat

I once worked a job where I genuinely did work 100 hours a week (sometimes more). It was tour guiding, taking US tourists around Europe. I picked them up from the airport and worked non-stop until they left. That could be 7, 10 or even 28 days. The only downtime was when I was sleeping or when they were on specialist outings (i.e. they had a historian taking them round a particular sight for a few hours). But usually even then I had to plan, make calls, etc. This was all before smartphones as well - I often think this job must be a bit easier now.

Anyway, the only way I could work that many hours is because I didn't have a home, child or any other responsibilities. I didn't have to cook because all meals were sorted in restaurants or hotels. I didn't have to do laundry (hotels). I didn't have to call a plumber or organise a food shop or take a kid to school. I had no post to open, no family to have over for Sunday lunch, no friend's birthday party to go to.

Still, the job was crazy. I did if for a few seasons because the money was fantastic and I had two summers where I didn't need any accommodation anywhere, so it saved me on rent. But again, really only possible if you are single with very few responsibilities.

This is all to say the 100-hour-week is one of her most ridiculous lies.

 

[appleskin]

Just caught up and can't help but add this

 

[JombleWomble]

Why would someone do that??

You could set up a bot account that asked this every time Jack tweets something and it would always be a perfectly reasonable response to whatever she was on about.

 

[trueblue222]

She’s going to be insufferable later on isn’t she. She’ll have some wacky story about how she fell face first into a bag of flour but kept going like the trooper she is.

Or she got chased around London by a group of Japanese tourists.

Mind that time she claimed that she got that device that helps her find things stuck to the floor of a train and she prised it off with a pen knife

And worse she claimed that she had lost it the week before and went back to find it

Imagine being in a relationship with a goon like her.

 

[Captainmouse]

Never not at it.

View attachment 1254045
View attachment 1254048

Then and now dear heart, then and now

 

[Jelly Bean]

I do have to question the sanity of her publishers letting her do another blend-your-own slops manual.

Her last few have sold absolute piss all, and she's actually an even worse cook now so what are they thinking?

It is barmy. There are amateur cooks whose food is 344 × better than her's, who deserve a cook book.
Lovely Eddie who just won Masterchef produced plate after plate of stunning and appetising food. He had an obvious love and understanding of flavour and texture. Jack has neither.