Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[People-huv-tae-know]

Well this is a momentous day dear Canal. Our tiny canal with a mere 300 threads must face off the monolith that is Jack and her flying monkeys along with lies and gaslighting to make things more difficult. She has even baked a cake for the occasion. Truly, this mirrors King Leonidas' battle against Xerxes at Thermopylae. Its pure David and Goliath stuff.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Happy #300 you mendacious cabal! What a ride it’s been. Being a part of this from pretty much the beginning has been an honour. From witnessing the birth of a new adjective - grunking (forever in our hearts Grunka Lunka) to being in real time when the one and only Jack joined us. Some say @MancBee can still taste the tomato/stuffing sloup (slop soup) to this day.
Although I don’t get to spend as much time contributing (apparently you have to interact with babies when you have them…), I’m here lurking away like a brambly mouse in Monroe’s bedroom rag rug. Many near misses with pieces of glass.
Thank you very Matt much you ninnies xxx

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

The autistic squigg looks to have deleted their account.

 

[MooBelle]

Also, isn’t it really kind of defamatory of her to basically state that the BBC actively discriminates against hiring her because of ... how she presents?! For, as we know time and again, she excuses many ‘negative’ facets of her personality and general nature due to her ADHD, or her autism. And she’s saying the BBC choose not to hire her because of how she presents? Surprised she’s allowed to get away with this - I mean, I know the BBC isn’t always the paradigm of social inclusivity, but in this day and age, it surely would want to distance themselves from insinuations that they discriminate.

I know it’s lies, but still. It’s annoying

Agreed. It is infuriating. The Beeb is so achingly 'right on' .
Even if you set aside the woke content and focus on more middle ground stuff her argument is pathetic. (This is just a selection of the boring stuff I watch!)
Stacey Dooley for example. Similar accent, if not stronger and admittedly from the opposite side of London to Essex but still gets a load of work. Unfortunately for Jack, Stacey comes across as intelligent, empathetic and quite lovely.
Gardener's world is full of stuff from ND people. Some even have tattoos.
The daytime garden makeover show that I've forgotten the name of but has Charlie Dimmock and the hipster twins on has a Trans gardener on the programme.
Jack being not re-employed by BBC is because she is
1.TERRIBLE at presenting (see what I did there?!)
2.Rude to guests and Co presenters.
3.Shakes like a chihuahua
4.Really unpleasant nasal tone to her MC accent
5.Attacks and initiates pile ons to viewers who question her nonsense

 

[BubbleDuck]

More likely everyone was full very quickly and said they’d take it home to eat later. Chucking it out of the car on the return journey (I bet it looked like roadkill)

Jack: come on hurry up and eat your plate, it’s almost time for seconds ! Isn’t this the best meal you’ve ever tasted?

Father in law- it truely is nothing like I’ve ever tasted before. I’m not sure I have the words to explain, or the ability to eat another bite

Jack:’no problem, I’ll box you some up to take home. I’ll write the allergens on in my big red pen , and sign them , so you can remember it’s thanks to me when you gobble them up like greedy pixies for your midnight snacks

Father in law: actually, Harold warned us this might happen so we brought our own boxes

The boxes:

 

[MooBelle]

Hooting at Vienetta being served in posh cocktail glasses. The 80s were so classy. I know what I want for dessert tonight.

I’m also amazed they only got 5 portions out of a Vienetta. My mum would slice it so thin you’d get 8 out of it. Deprived childhood. Send monies.

Mr Moo is at Sainsburys. I've just texted him to get a Vienetta. Walls are going to be baffled by the sudden up turn in sales today!

 

[moldwarp]

Just reading Jack's article about her alcoholism and this bit leapt out at me.

View attachment 1251471

Frauen, I am at the notion Jack requires a "private hideaway", like she'd be mobbed if she went somewhere else.Also hooting at the bar staff just plonking down her order without having to ask what she wants. I imagine them all whispering "it's Jack Monroe- yes THE Jack Monroe before scampering off to fetch something non alcoholic to support her sobriety.

I mean, this is extremely narcissistic. The idea that a book launch, traditionally an excellent excuse for a piss up, would make all its refreshments teetotal…and the idea that the staff at the Groucho, who see real celebs on the daily and doubtless take no shit, would fall over themselves to see to Jacks every comfort and protect her precious smol pixie sobriety, is just…pfftff.

meanwhile here on planet earth, us normie recovering allies have to accept that other people drink and don’t give a shit about our sTrUgGLeS. We have to learn to navigate a world with alcohol in it without falling over and having a tantrum every five minutes.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Love the way she uses people’s names to try and sound intimidating.

Yes that is one of her creepy little techniques that she thinks is clever.
Incredibly passive aggressive. Nasty little prune.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

These are all replies to random squigs:

The what?

What?

What?

 

[Thank(space)you]

I had a Charlie bighams lasagne for dinner in honour of thread 300

 

[Spanner]

Happy 300! I first joined in thread 2, hesitantly writing something like “She seems like a lot doesn’t she?” Now I’m a full blown frau, just desperate for someone to mention her in real life! I’d say I’m proud of how far she’s come in a mere two years but…well, you know. My highlights are the hilarious singing, DK and obviously Sir Matt’s forearms. The lowlights are the kitten, the eyeshadow black eye and the near-constant grifting

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Big Dave's FB posts are a joy! He writes 'to whom it may concern ' posts about the most pointless and twatty things.
There was a recent one 'to express disappointment ' that roads on a new housing estate weren't named after local veterans and war heroes.
I'm guessing by the tone of it he wanted 'Hadjicostas Boulevard ' to be one.

Big Dave gives off Big Dickhead Energy to me.

#sorrynotsorry

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

She claims her parents weren't well off enough to have cheese

 

[Jelly Bean]

Tbf that was just us (and Mumsnet).

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

The Menu.

 

[Flumps]

Thread 300!
Viennetta hats!
A visit from @Silver Linings!

A grand day all round. I'm often sad I have so little time to post these days. BUSY etc, but I am so fond of this corner of the internet and all you ninnies within. Objectionable heart face smilies to all. xxx

 

[Falkor]

Just remembered that about 25 years ago I was in a writing group and someone had written a romcom novel that featured a prawn Viennetta. Would have been right up Jack's strada. I don't think the novel ever got published, sadly!

 

[jenny2603]

Has Jack Monroe paid her taxes or donated the teemill money yet?

No.

Too short.

Still no.

Also she will now have received the third tranche of the Teemill money.

 

[kachoochoo]

lmao, celebrity chase getting in on the 300 celebrations

 

[PoorPatrol]

Look and dress identically??? WTF that ain’t normal, pal!