Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[Pocahontas]

Oh my Christ. The vienetta hats. Grunting this morning and I thought everyone had made their own but no, behold! The Tattle Gods have smiled on us

@Yel @Pocahontas we SHAN’T ever forget this. Tattle has my heart forever Have a lovely day!

#blessed #thankyou 🥹

300 threads - it’s Jack’s favourite number x 100! Our layered ice cream heads are so decadent - if I accepted any credit for them it would be like Jack saying she had invented Sure Start vouchers and founding the first food bank.

I wonder if she is also celebrating this occasion with a Viennetta? Doubtful, she’s such a gelato expert these days it would be beneath her.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Happy 300th, ninnies.
View attachment 1248744

Tonight we dine on pumble!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Thread #300 baby! Three ruddy hundred threads and she STILL insists we’re the grubby ones…

I’m jumping forward to say the following to @Brian Butterfield

Spoiler: Brian Beauterfield

Your post on the last thread resonated with me. Over the last couple of days, I’ve felt really out of my depth - I vote and vote carefully but I just don’t understand politics all that much. And that puts me off contributing. And a Marxist? The only Marx I know is the one whose mother came to Hazard when he was just seven .

But as the beaut @colouredlines said, everyone brings something to these threads. Brian, I HOOT at your posts and I smile at your compassion for everyone here. I identify with your posts that say you’ve had enough of Jack of Twerp Bay. I don’t have further education qualifications but I do have an eye for a great gif…so, in honour of thread #300, the political chat and how I imagine Jack comes down the stairs of The Shitty Bungalow of a morning afternoon, have a butchers at this…

 

[Mr Krabs]

Kind of scared to go to the supermarket in case I see someone with a Vienetta in their trolley. I won’t be able to resist going up to them and whispering ‘Pumble’ in their ear to see if they’re one of us.

 

[PoorPatrol]

View attachment 1253215

Is she actually insinuating that there’s a conspiracy, upheld by a BBC commissioner, to trick the public into not being told that caster sugar is just finer ground sugar??? Is that actually what this is?

Guessing OH got rescued by his identically dressed brother, and hasn’t stayed over, hence the Tweeting inane lies chaos. Maybe they tricked her like the twins in the Parent Trap, and bamboozled her until they’d both zoomed off in the big fancy car - while she was putting inexplicable fennel on the rads

 

[kachoochoo]

This is completely off topic but I just have to share that my mind was blown recently when I read a thread on m*****T recently and found out that you do pasta bake with raw pasta. I always thought pasta got cooked first. Clearly I need Jack’s Italian cookbook to help me!

eh, you can just soak pasta in cold water first, obviously

for all the fraus who don't think they can read thread 31, please do. it was amazing

my highlight will always be #mysadlittleface

 

[TillyMiffin]

Happy 300th to us all! I started following Jack years ago, I remember one of the first things that struck me as a bit off was when she lost a Pandora necklace that was absolutely packed with charms and was asking for help to track it down, saying she’d had it for years. I remember thinking ‘wouldn’t you sell your Pandora charms rather than your lightbulbs?’ she used to get right on my nerves but I didn’t discover you guys until the infamous Sali Hughes ‘thing’. When I realised I wasn’t alone in being sceptical about Jack I breathed a sigh of relief. I’ve had a couple of breaks (from her & here) when I’ve had stuff going on with my MH but you guys are a constant source of pleasure

 

[Grizzlybear]

Jack Monroe was so poor growing up they could only afford no stripe ice cream.

Why you gripe?
Ice cream no stripe

 

[Switchstreetz]

eh, you can just soak pasta in cold water first, obviously

for all the fraus who don't think they can read thread 31, please do. it was amazing

my highlight will always be #mysadlittleface

View attachment 1251001

The range rover was BLUE

Happy thread 300 canal, loving our viennetta hats

For obvious reasons I couldn't make you all a cake, but I hope this alternative I found in a muddy puddle will do

 

[colouredlines]

No

Oh mate, I scoured this little part of
but I couldn't find a Viennetta so I bought some coffee ice cream because I don't like coffee.
Jackonundrums.

Happy trecento threads, Jacko xoxo

Spoiler: OT Viennetta chat

It's Comtessa here (if you didn't know - don't want to assume!). When it first came to Spain they were unable to use the name Viennetta for legal reasons. Then at some point they changed the name to Viennetta. The name never caught on, and everyone was howling and gnashing for TWENTY YEARS until they changed it back to Comtessa.

At one point Unilever did a poll of 20.000 people about the name change and 100% of respondents voted for Comtessa over Viennetta.

I feel like a Spanish version of Jack would managw to get about 50 threads of tweets about this drama.

 

[Yel]

If we all google jack Monroe and click through (have to click through and then not immediately close!) to the wiki it would fly up the results.

Currently on page 4

View attachment 1249421

Now I'm not saying do this on all devices you have access to, this is all hypothetical

Our wiki is up to page 2 of google now, how magic! I wonder if it will ever get on the first page

 

[PoorPatrol]

The Menu.

I literally do not understand how she can call herself a “literal food expert” and then talk as if this is so difficult? It’s a version of a roast?? I cook massive meals with multiple elements all the time. Not even worth mentioning. She is incapable of dealing with meat, though, so I dread to think the state of the pork once she’s mullered it.

My menu today:
Roast chicken with red onion, with fresh parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme.
tenderstem broccoli with garlic and lemon
Jersey royals potato salad
Massive salad with lots of fresh herbs, dressing etc
Rhubarb crumble and custard

What showing off can be done about this? I’m a good cook, and it’s just a big dinner. I’m watching telly, Tattling, playing with my kids, pottering about and hanging up washing throughout.

 

[Pocahontas]

Also, isn’t it really kind of defamatory of her to basically state that the BBC actively discriminates against hiring her because of ... how she presents?! For, as we know time and again, she excuses many ‘negative’ facets of her personality and general nature due to her ADHD, or her autism. And she’s saying the BBC choose not to hire her because of how she presents? Surprised she’s allowed to get away with this - I mean, I know the BBC isn’t always the paradigm of social inclusivity, but in this day and age, it surely would want to distance themselves from insinuations that they discriminate.

I know it’s lies, but still. It’s annoying

 

[MooBelle]

What an exciting life Big Dave must lead.

Big Dave's FB posts are a joy! He writes 'to whom it may concern ' posts about the most pointless and twatty things.
There was a recent one 'to express disappointment ' that roads on a new housing estate weren't named after local veterans and war heroes.
I'm guessing by the tone of it he wanted 'Hadjicostas Boulevard ' to be one.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

Welcome dear heart, sorry to have left an angry emoji but

Exhibit A “my parents were not well off”

Exhibit B

The home address will be worth over half a mil too

 

[Cack Conroe]

Big Dave is half English, he has posted about his military maternal grandfather on Facebook. That makes Jack 1/4 Cypriot. And 1/2 northern Irish Protestant, not Irish Mammy.

Big Dave seems very pompous and overly proud of himself, the difference between him and his sly, grifting daughter is that he actually has the kudos to back his ego up.

Being raised to have an ego the size of a galaxy, combined with a complete lack of ability or redeeming features, must have been very disturbing for Jack’s self-esteem. Hence developing the delusions of grandeur and compulsive lying. She craves the respect that is granted to her dad but has done nothing to deserve it.

She craves the sympathy that her mum and others give to suffering or struggling foster kids, hence the Münchausen syndrome and the pov cosplay. Some time ago on Twitter she was putting on a show of being alcoholic with mental health issues, and her mum was all over it, giving sympathy and saying she feels like she failed as a mum. That’s exactly the reaction that Jack wants.

They’re not bad people and I’m sure overall they’re very good parents, but their imperfections combined in the most horrifying way when raising Jack. They’ve created a monster.

I would say they must be so ashamed, but I think that Big Dave like Jack is incapable of accepting fault, while her mum is fully pulled in by her victim-signalling.

 

[Boyo]

Why was she unable to cope with t-junctions at 14? Seems odd, even for her.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

The one good thing to come from Jack is this bunch of mithering ninnies

For me it’s been learning that “branlade” is French for wank.

 

[EddieBeds]

I think Eamon approves of the viennetta, though a mint one might bring back memories of lingreenie .

Happy 300th canal . Still fondly remember my grunk of thread 31 and laughing out loud at the chat happening around Jack and her inability to actually piss off because she couldn’t control the conversation. What do we have to say to candyman her back for an update?!

PS: I also love it when Poca tells us off for being norty and place bets with myself when grunking as to how many posts before Poca tells us to stop going off thread/posting pictures/song lyrics . Amole and Harold have been personal faves - the humour here is top notch.

 

[Toffee finger]

300 threads and she hasn’t changed at all.

The one good thing to come from Jack is this bunch of mithering ninnies