Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[maytoseptember]

Can confirm that a wally is a gherkin from the chippy. Apparently it’s a uniquely Essex/Cockney term? I was a peculiar child who loved gherkins basically from weaning onwards and was quite partial to a wally when getting fish and chips at my Nan and Grandad’s house. Jamie Oliver has name-checked them on telly once too. Up until then I didn’t realise it was such a uniquely geographical thing.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I need to make a confession…I still haven’t grunked the mythical thread 31 because I’m too scared of the second hand cringe!! I can’t bear embarrassment!!! Even someone else’s (I don’t know why I’m weird ok it’s like the moomin fear and the fear I have of getting my foot stuck in a giant clam even though I have never even seen or swum near one)

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Happy 300th thread fraus, I once saw a man eat a vienetta with his bare hands. The result was still more appetising than any slop dished up by Jack!

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Happy 300th thread - remember Jack we wouldn’t have the canal, the fraus or the vienettas if you didn’t tell so many lies, stuck to your commitments, submitted your accounts and donated what you said you would to charity!!
thank you all for all the owl champagne

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I need to make a confession…I still haven’t grunked the mythical thread 31 because I’m too scared of the second hand cringe!! I can’t bear embarrassment!!! Even someone else’s (I don’t know why I’m weird ok it’s like the moomin fear and the fear I have of getting my foot stuck in a giant clam even though I have never even seen or swum near one)

I haven’t done the whole thing for that same reason but the lolly chat is bloody brilliant!

 

[Boyo]

No, no! Not the pumble pit! That YEET at the end has ended me.
I haven’t been here for very long, I think only since October or so (though I had been sus about Jack for a while after being suckered in to her kickstarter) but it has rapidly become my very most favourite place on the internet.
sadly though I think I also need to be yeeted somewhere unpleasant as my favourite viennetta is also the mint variety…sigh…YEET!

 

[Cack Conroe]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

I analysed this meal. I didn’t add salt or pepper as I didn’t know how much, the optional cheese, or the optional second can of tuna.

This abomination without the added extras would only be 340 calories per serving. As usual, she makes food twice as cheap by making it half the size it needs to be.

I reset my account with Jack’s stated height and weight, the recommended protein amount couldn’t be changed because I could change the mode. If the fixed values mode was actually working, I would have set her protein to 48g as this is in line with her stated ideal of 0.8g/kg body weight, and in line with the recommended daily allowance of 45g for women

The amount of protein is 18.9g which is good for a small meal, and a decent proportion of her protein aims.

The meal is lacking in several vitamins and minerals. This isn’t an issue in itself as long as other meals during the day compensate for it.

 

[Boyo]

View attachment 1250689

Found a much more fitting orangery for Jack and it had room for a few more fraus.See you on the other side

Don’t go Silver. You belong here.

 

[Ostapbender]

TOOT TOOT it's the bleeping idiot alarm I was spelling Viennetta wrong. She did in fact tweet about it in her fugue state. Dear heart Marmalade would never make such an error. I'm throwing myself into the Pumble pit in a gesture of penitent self-sacrifice. YEET.

View attachment 1250789

Jacklife
eta this really just sounds like a particularly mad Jack meal, is that just me? but now I'm imagining a sad, dunked pickled egg cowering on top of some sad looking sandwiches... fear

 

[Captainmouse]

Joining in with the delurking since it's a special occasion... Joined Tattle for the Pip Schofield drama and started reading Jack's thread as it was always the most liked. Feel like a voyeur as I didn't know who she was previously, but her antics are incredulous and frau/herrs knowledge and wit has seen me through a lot of insomnia. I've missed out on many a hat and the kumquat salon, so I didn't want to miss this one too. TOOT TOOT and happy 300!

Talking of the kumquat salon, I found a picture of one of her first visits

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

So I think this is another grain of truth story

jack-eating cheese from fridge
Big Dave- wait til dinner, we aren’t made of money
Eve- you are eating us out of house and hime
Jack- I grew up in poverty

 

[Fenella]

. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

hello fellow library Frau, I think there are a few of us on the thread!
I had a shelf check for Good Food for Bad days a few weeks ago but I left it for a colleague to do, but that’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone have any interaction with her books I think.

 

[kachoochoo]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

isn't this just the sort of thing the darn-tootin home on the range howdy ya'll Georgian moms would call tuna casserole?

 

[holliebollie]

Toot toot, pumblefuckers. I love how this thread is just a celebration of all things ninny related and not too much mention of the grifting kumquat. I sent the Marxist Jack pics to my brother who is a union rep and anti twattery. His reply was, ‘Surely you’ve got more beef than Jack Monroe.’ Well, I had the last laugh because, NO, I haven’t PAL. He also said he can think of few things worse than reading here, boring twit. I think my witterings about butter and Patreon probably did it for him.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

isn't this just the sort of thing the darn-tootin home on the range howdy ya'll Georgian moms would call tuna casserole?

This is completely off topic but I just have to share that my mind was blown recently when I read a thread on m*****T recently and found out that you do pasta bake with raw pasta. I always thought pasta got cooked first. Clearly I need Jack’s Italian cookbook to help me!

 

[Jelly Bean]

Seeing all the new posters is a lovely thing - please continue to lurk or join in whatever you feel.
It feels like a smol uprising
Thread 300 - we salute you.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Nggggghhhh, fraus! I’ve got a severe, chronic, acute case of having a cold, send Lemsipos!

Thank(space)you to our grand high witch, Mx Jack Monroe, for not doing a chaos today, on our most holy of days. Praise beans to Harold,/Phil Mitchell for distracting Jack, and for giving us this precious time to reflect, and to welcome new mithering ninnies into the canal.

For anyone wondering if Jack going quiet means the end of her antics….

 

[Lurkeryaar]

hello fellow library Frau, I think there are a few of us on the thread!
I had a shelf check for Good Food for Bad days a few weeks ago but I left it for a colleague to do, but that’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone have any interaction with her books I think.

Imagine if anyone requesting her books was just another Frau seeing if the books were available and anyone had taken them out

 

[elliejoonm]

This is completely off topic but I just have to share that my mind was blown recently when I read a thread on m*****T recently and found out that you do pasta bake with raw pasta. I always thought pasta got cooked first. Clearly I need Jack’s Italian cookbook to help me!

What on earth, is this something people do?? I've always par boiled the pasta so it's almost done but not quite, then put it in the oven with the sauce and cheese etc. to cook the rest of the way. That's the way my mum has always made it, although for lasagna she would use uncooked pasta sheets. I will have to consult my Italian brother-in-law to see which method is correct, although somehow I doubt tuna pasta bake is an authentic Italian dish.

 

[Cookiecookie]

This is completely off topic but I just have to share that my mind was blown recently when I read a thread on m*****T recently and found out that you do pasta bake with raw pasta. I always thought pasta got cooked first. Clearly I need Jack’s Italian cookbook to help me!

I guess it's like when you use dried lasagna and it cooks in the horse spunk sauce.

Imagine if anyone requesting her books was just another Frau seeing if the books were available and anyone had taken them out

Or on the discard list?