Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[ChocolateMuffin]

It’s like when we just got bored of Jack and it turned into an Andi Peters rave thread for a while.

Andi Peters tenten.
Original Vienetta eleventen.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Happy #300 you mendacious cabal! What a ride it’s been. Being a part of this from pretty much the beginning has been an honour. From witnessing the birth of a new adjective - grunking (forever in our hearts Grunka Lunka) to being in real time when the one and only Jack joined us. Some say @MancBee can still taste the tomato/stuffing sloup (slop soup) to this day.
Although I don’t get to spend as much time contributing (apparently you have to interact with babies when you have them…), I’m here lurking away like a brambly mouse in Monroe’s bedroom rag rug. Many near misses with pieces of glass.
Thank you very Matt much you ninnies xxx

 

[Shawads]

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Found a much more fitting orangery for Jack and it had room for a few more fraus.See you on the other side

Funking brilliant. Smoking area at the Groucho

 

[JuliaGulia]

I can't stop singing the Gino Ginelli advert. Send helpios.
Happy thread 300 you hilarious lot

 

[Captainmouse]

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Found a much more fitting orangery for Jack and it had room for a few more fraus.See you on the other side

you even found kumquat to keep me company

but who is the chap in the chair?

 

[Smeghead]

Keep em coming, I live for this shiz

Spoiler: Sorry not sorry 3

 

[Captainmouse]

Hello! I've been lurking since near the beginning. I found Tattle because M***n*t told me it was a place of sin, so I came to check it out. JM was one of the few names I recognised - but I thought they were a good egg, from my Grauniad days. Soon I learnt they were inexplicable. Working from home in lockdown I enjoyed catching up on DKL commentaries. I'm very much a wallflower, but I've loved being an NPC in the last 300 threads, so I thought I'd say 'Hi' before I go back to anonymity. I'm a silent Frau, who's off for a piss and a sandwich. Thankyou.

Luv your avatar

 

[EllaEm87]

I’m very BUSY so constantly on a mega grunk and not able to hand out my s as freely but please know, dearest canal, I am owl champagning along with you all, and loved the cameo from @Silver Linings. You are missed!

Now duck off x

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

She claims her parents weren't well off enough to have cheese

 

[Sglodion]

I joined Tattle because my friend told me they had a thread about Mumsnet. I wanted to replace MN as my 'slow work day' forum of choice because this place seemed much nicer, but I've barely heard of any influencers and was complaining that Off Topic didn't get enough traffic to be a good substitute. Then I opened Bloggers and I think my exact words were "oh never mind, just seen they've got 284 threads about Jack Monroe - that should keep me busy for a while".

I used to go to my primary school friend's house once a week between the ages of about eight and twelve, and every single time without fail we each got half a Sainsbury's frozen margherita pizza and mint viennetta for lunch. (I didn't even know viennetta also came in non-mint flavours until well after I'd left home.) My friend always cut hers into four pieces, but I ate the whole semicircle without slicing because I thought it felt like there was more of it that way - her mum probably thought I was some kind of feral urchin who'd never encountered a pizza before. I LIVED for those lunches, they were the best

 

[Lurkeryaar]

I can't find the post but whoever said the biscuit viennetta was the best - YES you are right, it was delicious. I always thought viennetta was posh (we only ever had it at my grandma's or at Christmas) any my reality was shooketh when fairly recently a friend said it was cheap and naff

 

[JombleWomble]

No, no! Not the pumble pit! That YEET at the end has ended me.
I haven’t been here for very long, I think only since October or so (though I had been sus about Jack for a while after being suckered in to her kickstarter) but it has rapidly become my very most favourite place on the internet.
sadly though I think I also need to be yeeted somewhere unpleasant as my favourite viennetta is also the mint variety…sigh…YEET!

Why have I only just learned that Viennetta comes in a variety of flavours?! I love minty things and yet have been deprived of mint Viennetta for all these years. Woe is me, I've been so deprived, sob sob etc. Perhaps if I wail about this on twitter someone will donate me the funds I need to buy my very own dream Viennetta?

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

It's a pickled gherkin apparently according to this article @Griftymcgriftface for some reason the accompanying picture of a single massive gherkin on a plate is sending me.

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Who has a big gherkin at the chippy ? (Don’t answer that)

 

[Pdawg]

Joining in with the delurking since it's a special occasion... Joined Tattle for the Pip Schofield drama and started reading Jack's thread as it was always the most liked. Feel like a voyeur as I didn't know who she was previously, but her antics are incredulous and frau/herrs knowledge and wit has seen me through a lot of insomnia. I've missed out on many a hat and the kumquat salon, so I didn't want to miss this one too. TOOT TOOT and happy 300!

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Just warning you all now that I'm gonna do a dress like Gaga, but entirely made out of Vienetta..
The longer Jack lies, the more it melts.

Will this be a bit like a melted candle?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I can't stop singing the Gino Ginelli advert. Send helpios.
Happy thread 300 you hilarious lot

Same! I was shocked to find out I still know all the words.

“MINT CHOC CHIIIP! Tutti fruiti what a cutie!”

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Oh dear I did actually have one the last time I went to a chippy. They put it in a big pot the size of a coffee cup. As a gherkin connoisseur I would rate it a 2/10, it was size over substance. For reasons I cannot reveal the location of said chippy but here's what the gherkin looked like, filter applied for its personal protection.

 

[JuliaGulia]

Same! I was shocked to find out I still know all the words.

“MINT CHOC CHIIIP! Tutti fruiti what a cutie!”

It's a banger

 

[panda_eyes]

I've never had viennetta but I've always presumed it was super posh.

I went on the Wiki for Viennetta to learn more about this legendary dessert and learnt that...

"In 2007, to celebrate the brand's 25th birthday, a 22.7 metres (74 ft) long Viennetta was made, setting the world record for longest ice cream." WOW

 

[EddieBeds]

I think Eamon approves of the viennetta, though a mint one might bring back memories of lingreenie .

Happy 300th canal . Still fondly remember my grunk of thread 31 and laughing out loud at the chat happening around Jack and her inability to actually piss off because she couldn’t control the conversation. What do we have to say to candyman her back for an update?!

PS: I also love it when Poca tells us off for being norty and place bets with myself when grunking as to how many posts before Poca tells us to stop going off thread/posting pictures/song lyrics . Amole and Harold have been personal faves - the humour here is top notch.