Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[Griftymcgriftface]

I’m going to make myself some cheese on toast but I’ve no bread so I’m going to use a cardboard Amazon box because it is cheap and everything is the fucking same.

 

[LavaFlake]

Whilst dickhead is being quiet.
This is TD commenting on a FB post of Jack's 6 years ago. Sorry if this has already been shared, I've missed it because I'M BUSY.
My question is, when did the beef with the start and over what?
If its been discussed before pls can someone let me know which thread (and page preferably because I need to watch In For A Penny).
LOVING THE VIENETTAS

The first public incident was when Jack slagged off other people's trifles using photos from recipe sites. She then declared her Dad's packet mix Birds trifle to be the best ever.

I wouldn't be surprised if like many of us over the past 6 years, as Jack bounced between identities and ailments and started causing lots of pile ons and creating increasingly sloppy foods, things began not to add up for TD...

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Got a yellow sticker Gu in sainsburys. Let the celebrations begin. Send pringlos.

 

[Mr Krabs]

One slice is never enough unless Jack made it, of course.

Hooting at Vienetta being served in posh cocktail glasses. The 80s were so classy. I know what I want for dessert tonight.

I’m also amazed they only got 5 portions out of a Vienetta. My mum would slice it so thin you’d get 8 out of it. Deprived childhood. Send monies.

 

[Mr Krabs]

G-d, she is always such a martyr isn’t she? I can just imagine her yelling at OH that she’s got so much to do and she’s already done five lots of washing up. And if he asks if he can help, she’s exactly the sort to get arsey and scream that he doesn’t know what he’s doing and only she can do it. Then the guests have to sit in the tense atmosphere and make om nom noises and declare it the best ever, or she’ll get another strop on.

 

[veronica71]

I thought Jack plagiarized peanut butter in humans from Jamie Oliver.

Peanut butter a really obvious substitute. I don't know why Jack's maverick little brain didn't think of it before.

I know it’s a typo but don’t give her ideas

 

[Hollaaa]

The Vienettas are making me so happy but I'm going to sound like a maniac if I try to explain it IRL. Brava, and grazie, whoever came up with and then executed this!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Jack when OH asks what's for dinner:

Also I can confirm it is possible to play that gavotte with one hand on a two-octave keyboard so it is theoretically in reach for Jack. I played it and it's an absolute banger.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I wonder if in honour of thread three hundred Vienetta hat day, if at a predetermined time-say 6pm in the UK- we should all open our front doors, step out and shout “PUMBLE” at the tops of our voices (like an honorary Thunderclap for Carers) then softly, gently step back inside?

It would be a true delight to me (albeit extremely surprising given where I am) if other dear fraus were in earshot.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Too common and coarse for the Beeb?
You keep telling yourself that pal.
Easier to deal with than the truth. Which is that you were given, through a tantrum, an amazing opportunity and blew it. You were ill prepared, embarrassing to watch and made your co presenter visibly cringe

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Have forensically mocked up a nuzzle re-enactment with another potential 7 foot OH. He’s perfect as he’s a literal tin?

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

The OH gets a mention.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Must be a lot deleted!!

60,000+ deletes

 

[Jelly Bean]

The squig has replied to this, and quite rightly said -

View attachment 1248722

Yes quite right Squig. Jack cries bullying at the drop of a hat when she is mildly queried on anything. She herself is a nasty bully.

 

[MooBelle]

Funny how her OH and their relatives get smoosh and the poors get mixed beans with stewing steak.

Horrible inverted snob.

Not just the poors.
Her son and family get cheap stuff like bollock sausages and trifle out of a packet. OH and the In laws get a full on menu which has courses and Jack spending all day nearly dying from exhaustion over a hot stove. As well as smoosh. Whatever the feck smoosh actually is. (I think it is just a twatty way of saying mash but who knows? )
You never hear her saying she makes nourishing soups or stews for her seriously ill mother. Or making a hearty roast for her dad after he's spent the day in his new career as part of the coastguard. (Big Dave has signed up as lifeboat crew)
SB gets microscopic portions of peelings SMOOSHED in with mashed potato and grated carrot sandwiches made with cardboard white bread. Poor kid doesn't even get quality crisps like the Pringles that his mother uses to achieve her plumped up lips. He has to slum it with Smart Price maize snacks.

Basically she makes an effort when trying to impress but when it comes to loved ones, especially her child, it is cheap slop and carcinogenic low welfare meat.

 

[MooBelle]

Looool what? Like the British armed forces are a marvel franchise, could anyone even name a “war hero” (problematic term) much less a local one? Who was he proposing, himself? hero worship doesn’t feel very Christian either?!

He wasn't so gauche as to put his name forward but 'Big Dave mbe' was very chest puffy in the way he wrote. He always is, his writing style is very similar to Jack's. He puts things like 'speaking as an ex paratrooper who served in the Falklands conflict and has served my local community ever since....'
None of it is hidden or private and all of it is very gloating.

 

[FlashBoof]

This means nothing to meeeeeee

Vienettaaaaaaaaa

Coming from the past to say this post deserves all the likes - and to see how my hat looks.
Been here almost since the beginning - definitely prior to the infamous thread 31 - alas, not quite since thread one. It’s been a blast! Thanks everyone - and especial thanks to all the screen shotters, detective fraus and gif/meme/photoshop fraus. Big wave to lurkers - come on in - the waters fine!

 

[Malkiavelli]

It’s quite interesting that Monroe seems to have stopped tweeting on weekends? Good for her, in a way.

It does though lend weight to the idea that she considers tweeting ‘work’, and has thus decided to give herself weekends from this apparent daily grind. Which of course, puts her whole “100 hour weeks” into ever clearer perspective.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I remember it at the time, it was the “gotcha” moment not hitting the mark at all for me and no one popping up to go “leave Jack alone actually!”

I remember @Begborrowsteal telling her to go away as she was making a show of herself

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I never usually comment on appearances, but what the hell has happened to his face?!

That’s the face of a man that has been relinquished by Jack Monroe 15 times on an airplane.