Jack Monroe #297 I'm not a natural tax payer.

[TbilisiPeach]

Would the OH be the male friend who made that awful cheese toastie baguette pizza thing she was banging on about a few months ago?

That toastie had male energy.

 

[MancBee]

Men are much thicker than women (no offence #notallmen, usual disclaimers) so much better suited to her niche.

How very dare you!

There's a fair few thick women that Jack has already hoodwinked. There are also quite a few who are conned out of their life savings from online dating of men they have never even met in real life.

Though to be fair, there are plenty of thick men too.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Would the OH be the male friend who made that awful cheese toastie baguette pizza thing she was banging on about a few months ago?

Yes, he woos her with his infamous toasties and crisps once a week now.

Jack still steals SB's lunch with midnight sandwich munches. Must work harder, Harold!

 

[Veronicaaa]

How very dare you!

I did my disclaimers!!! (Good to see you back).

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

How would pregnancy be managed on ADHD meds? I know very little.

 

[Captainmouse]

She struggles to look after herself let alone another baby and seriously. She’s an idiot if she even tries to get pregnant given her self confessed poor mental state just now.

This is her we are talking about though and we all know she’s a selfish cow.

Her consumption of meds is more concerning

 

[Veronicaaa]

Me when people talk about Jack being pregnant

 

[trueblue222]

Well they wear matching clothes and they both can’t cook. Does he support Liverpool too? YNWA

 

[Smeghead]

Yes, he woos her with his infamous toasties and crisps once a week now.

Jack still steals SB's lunch with midnight sandwich munches. Must work harder, Harold!

She woos him back with goat leg and pig hoof stew and monopoly

 

[BlendedSlop]

Would the OH be the male friend who made that awful cheese toastie baguette pizza thing she was banging on about a few months ago?

And the male friend she was getting up at 6am and trespassing on MOD land frolicking on the beach with.

Probably someone she reeled in at the expensive dayhab.

 

[MancBee]

I'm sure she said earlier that OH and she wear matching things. Imagine that ghastly image - them both marching to Per Rialto in pigskin hats and combat elasticated jeans

Per Rialto will never not be funny. Has Jack never bought something from the Per Una collection from Marks'? What does she think that means?

 

[trueblue222]

And the male friend she was getting up at 6am and trespassing on MOD land frolicking on the beach with.

Probably someone she reeled in at the expensive dayhab.

I’d personally love to know how they met. Maybe she bumped into him in the street when she was out for a yomp for fish and chips.

Or maybe he was one of those poor sods who she taught how to make peach and chickpea curry

 

[Smeghead]

And the male friend she was getting up at 6am and trespassing on MOD land frolicking on the beach with.

Probably someone she reeled in at the expensive dayhab.

Or Ian Rush

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Per Rialto will never not be funny. Has Jack never bought something from the Per Una collection from Marks'? What does she think that means?

Jack is PURE Per Una

 

[colouredlines]

I love facts and try to avoid too much speculation, but I would bet money on OH being a fairly dull bald/balding man.

My evidence for this is that Jack tends to adopt her partners' personalities as her own (Foodie Jack in the Allegra period, Veggie Jack during LJC's time), and the only thing that has really changed about her recently is a love of hats. Past a certain age, men with a full head of hair tend to go hatless. Therefore, the Onion Police should be looking for a meat-eating bald man with no obvious personality traits...



ETA: to add, on a detective note, Jack put a poll on Twitter about what to cook for a special sexy meal on 8th Jan. This could have been the start of it all...

 

[Tittykitty]

Sabrina Cohen-Hatton is on steph’s packed lunch today, not only was she homeless and selling the big issue but she is now well up in the fire brigade, obviously never asked about wearing traazers.

 

[Captainmouse]

I'm sure she said earlier that OH and she wear matching things. Imagine that ghastly image - them both marching to Per Rialto in pigskin hats and combat elasticated jeans

Howard and Hilda one for the older ninnies

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

I’m absolutely cackling. Her dress sense has been noticeably even worse than usual lately and I did strongly suspect it’s because she’s doing the narc/personality vacuum/sinister succubus tit of mirroring a new partner’s taste because you have nothing but evil to offer.

It is now 100000% confirmed: the stonewash, shapeless denim, the entire wall of more DVDs than anyone could have time to watch, the tragic toastie (that was still better than anything she’s ever made), the bleeping dreadful hats: she is dating an Empire-reading, jeans-and-sheaux, basic bro. I’m guessing 45+.

Sir, I advise you to book that vasectomy now, before it’s too late.

ETA - sorry @colouredlines I’ve just basically repeated exactly what you said.

 

[Elastoblast]

Sabrina Cohen-Hatton is on steph’s packed lunch today, not only was she homeless and selling the big issue but she is now well up in the fire brigade, obviously never asked about wearing traazers.

She's all round amazing. Like the exact opposite of Jack

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Have we had this as a thread title? If not them consider this a nomination.

Seconded