Jack Monroe #293 Georgia Church Suppers, just like MamaPapa used to make!

[Satisfying Click]

"My childhood home was a revolving door of children with various degrees of trauma."
"This gaggle of children forever turning up at our house."

Blimey, Jack thinks this sounds compassionate. It does not. She deeply resents her parents for having done it.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Trifle Defender was listening too, I think

 

[Powershower]

Spoiler: The results

I checked online how long to bake a fairy cake for and the timings varied from around 14-24 minutes. I decided to meet in the middle and go with 20.

The look: they are a bit burnt
The middle: is raw
The smell: is deceptively nice
The taste: the lime overwhelms everything and I can see no need for it to have been included other than the fact Jack probably had one knocking about the kitchen and needed to use it up. They smell of chocolate but they do not taste of anything but lime. They’re not sweet enough and you can’t taste the cocoa. You might as well squeeze a bit of lime on some blu tack and chew that


They also are claggy. No surprises there.

I will not be wasting further food by dusting them with icing sugar.

Jack says these will serve 3 GENEROUSLY. I think what she means is infinitely as there’s no way you’re finding 3 people to eat them.

 

[phoebec90]

I only came over to tattle for Alice Evans threads and stumbled across always the ‘most liked’ Jack Monroe. What an absolute piece of work, and I’m now addicted to the chaos. Georgia Jack is the most humiliating mistake to date and I’m here for it

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I made her sausage stroganoff last night, but I used 2 burgers, some burger buns and waffle fries. I’ve given her a big tip as she’s such a genius.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

This has probably been said over and over again but just to say again, Jack has consistently said she worked on a 'meal plan' during 'The Poverty' that was nutritious and delicious, yet now she says she's left with numerous health and dental issues. So...it didn't work, Jack? You're admitting that your food isn't what you claim it is? You're openly admitting you are a fraud and STILL this isn't being picked up on? *bangs head against wall*

My origin story? My uncles were ACTUAL firefighters in Essex. No more info in case we are triangulated. 'More holes in her story than a Swiss cheese'. This was when she first came to public attention. They went into great detail about how members of the service are highly valued and, with the money spent on training, they are eager to keep call staff and firefighters alike otherwise its a cost based fallacy. So for them to let her go so quickly and easily shows that she did not make a great impression. More than likely made demands that were unreasonable and unworkable. I only discovered this group because of the Alice Evans thread but for years I've wanted to know if others can spot the obvious lies. I'm so glad I found you all (and yes, I have let my uncles know about the fraus).

 

[Veronicaaa]

The nub of the issue, I don't understand why more people don't see it -

 

[Orphan_Black]

She's getting gold star stickers for pretending she did something that so many people are having to live through. People who don't have four hours faffing about writing it down on a high end brand planner. People who have full custody of their kids. People who work every hour they can get and still can't make ends meet.

She's a disgusting cretin. An absolute parasite. She's earning more than basic rate on Patreons alone. She is not poor, she not homeless, she is not a decent person.

 

[Powershower]

Jacks latest chaos has inspired me to take a look at some recipes and so I have decided in my infinite wisdom that I will bake one of Jack Monroes very own recipes.

Spoiler: it’s going as well as you might expect

This is the recipe I decided to bake. It looks easy enough, bizarrely I have all the ingredients and I have had courgette cakes in the past and enjoyed them. What more could you want?!

First step was to weigh out my ingredients. The recipe called for 2 courgettes but as I only had one I scaled the recipe down accordingly. I also don’t have a loaf tin so as half the recipe serves 3 generously I lined a cake tin with 6 fairy cake cases. So far so good.

the dry ingredients:

Arguably, the courgette at this stage could also be described a a dry ingredient as I had wrung so much of the water out at Jack’s behest, but I digress.

I added the wet ingredients and the courgette which at this stage is in its own state, neither solid nor liquid, neither wet nor dry and try to mix it.

I also use apple sauce rather than marmalade or lime marmalade as I am not now and have never been Jack’s nan, so that seems off the cards as an ingredient as I do not wish to make a disingenuous cake.

Is anyone else suprised that 125g of flour and very little liquid produces this:

A batter so thick that a fork can stand up in it completely unaided.

Never mind, I remember she told me to juice half a lime and then didn’t tell me what to do with it so I decide it must go in at this point to wet it all up a bit.

So in that goes and I get:

This.

At this point you are meant to pour it into a cake tin, it’s light years from being pourable so I divide it in to 7 (great number of cakes there jack) fairy cases with a spoon. It is so solid you could probably use a knife and fork.

they are in the oven now, I’ll report back when they’re done

[/SPOILER]

 

[traumatised sideboard]

So I've been forensically combing through her meal plan and would like to say that literal food expert and student of nutrition Jack Monroe has not correctly accounted for her portions of fruit and veg. The official guidelines state that one portion of fresh, tinned or frozen fruit or veg is 80g, one portion of dried fruit is 30g, one portion of fruit juice is 150ml. Only one 80g portion of pulses counts towards your five a day, you can't eat six tins of beans and have it count as twelve portions. It is also recommended that you consume more vegetables than fruit.

If we take Thursday as an example, she has counted nine portions. If we break this down however we will see it is not nine portions.

Easy peelers and plums are small fruit, so one portion is two each making both of these half a portion each. Total is 1 portion.
An apple and a banana are both medium to large fruit so will be one portion each. Total is now 3 portions.
For the carrot I have referred back to the recipe she gave for the carrot cake oats on Twitter which is 100g of carrot and 1 apple split between four servings. The apple won't count for any more portions since she has already accounted for one. The carrot is 25g per person or just under a third of a portion. Total is now 3.3 portions.
I was temporarily baffled by the appearance of sultanas but I think these also went into the carrot cake baked oats, 75g split between four so that's two thirds of a portion. Total is now 4 portions.
It's difficult to know how much tomato she put in the sandwich. Judging by the photo of her cooking bacon and tomato sandwich on 16/04 it's approximately half a portion. Total is now 4.5 portions.
The broccoli and petits pois are one portion each. Total is now 6.5 portions. Four of those are fruit, two and a half of veg (I'm not turning up to the are tomatoes fruit debate even if I'm invited).

What am I doing with my life

 

[StatusWoe]

Proposal that all dates should be classed as B.G or A.G (before Georgia, after Georgia). Or simply GG (between two Georgias).

 

[panda_eyes]

SHE'S

NOT

POOR

 

[jenny2603]

Ah we dislike her because she is working class made good.
Yes that will be it.

No Jack, we hate you because you're a middle class poverty tourist who is cashing in on a brief self inflicted financial hiccup over a decade ago. You're not working class, you make money talking over the working classes and the poor.

 

[Yorkiepud]

I've been trying to go about my business today, then every now and then I get the image of JM sadly picking her Georgian cook book up and moving it from her Eastern European book shelf to her USA one. Proper thinking of her seething face

 

[Jelly Bean]

What is so distasteful about her constant moaning about feeling insecure of housing and blah blah SB's forever home, is that at this precise moment many thousands of people are having flee from their country. Maybe never to return. And heading for the complete unknown clutching a few possessions.
Can she not ever simply count her blessings? Be grateful she has a lovely home NOW, supportive parents and a very present, loving and settled father of SB.
Obviously we can't be Pollyannas all the time counting our blessings. But Jack never does.
I just don't get why she deserves the Squigs pity so much.

 

[jenny2603]

You're new aren't you squig?

 

[Veronicaaa]

"I suggest you look a little deeper"

 

[Yel]

So tempted to by a hard copy of church suppers, it could be like a canal membership badge where we could carry it around to be recognised in the wild

 

[jenny2603]

The uppity thing also implies that it is the sort of language used here to describe her. And other poor women.

Ah she'll be able to mention it then. Keeping quiet until could see how it was received. Like Lorraine

Now there's a thing. Put Jack in front of a solidly middle class Radio 4 audience and they're in rapture. Put her in front of Lorraine's audience which I'm guessing tilts a bit more working class and everyone is hooting at slop and freaking out at dirty fingernails.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Hang on she went to the dentist on Thursday? How did she have time when she was tweeting shite all day long?
Why is she randomly mentioning it now? A dentist would have known there and then how many appointments were needed. I call bullshit and this is to lay the ground work for a nice new set of veneers