The Tiffany earrings are present in the Easter photo, she has just softy softly gently covered them by drawing fake hair over the top
Jack Monroe #293 Georgia Church Suppers, just like MamaPapa used to make!
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Wow, that was an epic grunk. Am still 
and 
at the Georgia church suppers mix up 
Loved seeing TD's Twitter comments. Jack may have done another dirty delete but all the coolinary peeps will have seen or will see it even if some of the squigs miss it.
I'd almost feel sorry for Jack who's only options now is get money from squigs or companies that haven't done due diligence, almost.
Looking forward to a piss and a sandwich before the Radio 4 program at 12.32.
and at the Georgia church suppers mix up Loved seeing TD's Twitter comments. Jack may have done another dirty delete but all the coolinary peeps will have seen or will see it even if some of the squigs miss it.
I'd almost feel sorry for Jack who's only options now is get money from squigs or companies that haven't done due diligence, almost.
Looking forward to a piss and a sandwich before the Radio 4 program at 12.32.
Morning Fraus. Lord above. What a time to be away 
I won't be here for the food prog on the radio (we are going to the coast today, yippee) but to say I'm looking forward to my Grunk later on is the understatement of the century.
I won't be here for the food prog on the radio (we are going to the coast today, yippee) but to say I'm looking forward to my Grunk later on is the understatement of the century.
The mad thing about the filters is she looks much better without them?
The Bertie Bassett snap from last week is genuinely terrifying in an uncanny valley sort of way.
The Bertie Bassett snap from last week is genuinely terrifying in an uncanny valley sort of way.
Will she bother showing up, I mean she is known to not bother sometimes. Why do they keep putting her on radio. She just keeps telling the same old story.Wow, that was an epic grunk. Am still
Loved seeing TD's Twitter comments. Jack may have done another dirty delete but all the coolinary peeps will have seen or will see it even if some of the squigs miss it.
I'd almost feel sorry for Jack who's only options now is get money from squigs or companies that haven't done due diligence, almost.
Looking forward to a piss and a sandwich before the Radio 4 program at 12.32.
People poor.
Government bad
Eat slop
We know pet. Let someone else have a turn yeah, the might have a different idea. Yeah?!
It's beyond mad that she has the brass neck to say they're not filtered. Like, she's so far removed from reality that she thinks people - with eyes, who can see - would believe that.
We quite often hate-listen to the Food Programme because the fine line between wankiness and earnestness can be a bit much. So today should be extra good.
This is where I turn my Harold into a frau, lads. I'm timing a fry up to lure him into the kitchen at just the right time.
This is where I turn my Harold into a frau, lads. I'm timing a fry up to lure him into the kitchen at just the right time.
Jacks latest chaos has inspired me to take a look at some recipes and so I have decided in my infinite wisdom that I will bake one of Jack Monroes very own recipes.
[/SPOILER]
This is the recipe I decided to bake. It looks easy enough, bizarrely I have all the ingredients and I have had courgette cakes in the past and enjoyed them. What more could you want?!
First step was to weigh out my ingredients. The recipe called for 2 courgettes but as I only had one I scaled the recipe down accordingly. I also don’t have a loaf tin so as half the recipe serves 3 generously I lined a cake tin with 6 fairy cake cases. So far so good.
the dry ingredients:
Arguably, the courgette at this stage could also be described a a dry ingredient as I had wrung so much of the water out at Jack’s behest, but I digress.
I added the wet ingredients and the courgette which at this stage is in its own state, neither solid nor liquid, neither wet nor dry and try to mix it.
I also use apple sauce rather than marmalade or lime marmalade as I am not now and have never been Jack’s nan, so that seems off the cards as an ingredient as I do not wish to make a disingenuous cake.
Is anyone else suprised that 125g of flour and very little liquid produces this:
A batter so thick that a fork can stand up in it completely unaided.
Never mind, I remember she told me to juice half a lime and then didn’t tell me what to do with it so I decide it must go in at this point to wet it all up a bit.
So in that goes and I get:
This.
At this point you are meant to pour it into a cake tin, it’s light years from being pourable so I divide it in to 7 (great number of cakes there jack) fairy cases with a spoon. It is so solid you could probably use a knife and fork.
they are in the oven now, I’ll report back when they’re done
First step was to weigh out my ingredients. The recipe called for 2 courgettes but as I only had one I scaled the recipe down accordingly. I also don’t have a loaf tin so as half the recipe serves 3 generously I lined a cake tin with 6 fairy cake cases. So far so good.
the dry ingredients:
Arguably, the courgette at this stage could also be described a a dry ingredient as I had wrung so much of the water out at Jack’s behest, but I digress.
I added the wet ingredients and the courgette which at this stage is in its own state, neither solid nor liquid, neither wet nor dry and try to mix it.
I also use apple sauce rather than marmalade or lime marmalade as I am not now and have never been Jack’s nan, so that seems off the cards as an ingredient as I do not wish to make a disingenuous cake.
Is anyone else suprised that 125g of flour and very little liquid produces this:
A batter so thick that a fork can stand up in it completely unaided.
Never mind, I remember she told me to juice half a lime and then didn’t tell me what to do with it so I decide it must go in at this point to wet it all up a bit.
So in that goes and I get:
This.
At this point you are meant to pour it into a cake tin, it’s light years from being pourable so I divide it in to 7 (great number of cakes there jack) fairy cases with a spoon. It is so solid you could probably use a knife and fork.
they are in the oven now, I’ll report back when they’re done
Attachments
Just saw someone bought plums as the designated snack, (HA HA no one in this house has used a meal planner in their entire life, no one is organised enough). Might carefully and naughtily eat more than one per day 
I'm not whizzing them in a curry/stroganoff/pie though lol
I'm not whizzing them in a curry/stroganoff/pie though lol
It reeeeeeally pisses me off when she writes applesauce.
She does that because she’s stolen all her vegan recipes from American authors who call it that and have been using it in vegan baking for many years. It’s a staple ingredient there bought in huge jars.
or could be in Tblisi now I think, the 2 are interchangeable
I'd put money on the fact that the cable will get a mention on today's radio show. Which is exciting.
I only came over to tattle for Alice Evans threads and stumbled across always the ‘most liked’ Jack Monroe. What an absolute piece of work, and I’m now addicted to the chaos. Georgia Jack is the most humiliating mistake to date and I’m here for it 
Ok, here’s the third and final part of my magnificent octopus. Spoilered so I don’t screw up the thread and also to make it easy to skip on past 
Now look at my eye
Said the twit to herself
It shimmers like gold
Now, let’s loosen that shelf
I will take some more selfies
I will upload them now
Before the cable tries to
Work out ‘just how?’
They should not be here
In my Twitter, she scowled
You get of of this chat
Said the twit, then she howled
But we like to be here
Oh, we like it, you fool
Said the cable together
To the twit, who looked cruel
We will not go away
We do not wish to go
And so, said the twit in the hat
So
So
So
I will show you
Another mad chaos, here we go!
And then she typed out
(It didn’t look hard)
A load of tit meals
All containing anchoïade
A pile of crap meals
All linked up with some fish
Now look at this lot!
Said the twit
Pick a dish
Then she posted them all
With a flick of her thumb
I call this game ‘Bag us a squig’
They are dumb
In this game there are two
Basic aspects to show
The first is bad meals
Said the twit, that much you know
But the second is clever
They don’t see it coming
They don’t even notice
The money starts flowing
These things are the heartbeat
Of my grifting tune
With these things
I don’t have to work
What a boon!
And OH and I
Did not know what to do
The cable kept receipts
Of it all
That, we knew
But the twit was on high
The lights were all on
So she carried on
Telling them all
On
On
On.
Then quick as a flash
The lights all went dim
The twit looked across
At us two, things looked grim
She glowered and hissed
We didn’t know what to do
So we two just sat there
While her anger, it grew
I’ll never succeed
While the cable exists
Said the twit in the hat
They’re on to my grifts
And she put all her phones
On the stands in the hall
And she sat on the floor
Saying nothing at all
Then all of a sudden
The door swung wide open
And in walked SB
With a takeaway carton!
The twit looked alarmed
But I’ve made you some gruel!
It’s ok, said SB
You can stop being cruel
You can stop cooking nonsense
Just to get Twitter ticks
You can just be yourself
Twitter isn’t a fix
And I looked at OH
And he looked at me
I just didn’t get it
But OH, who are we?
Well, I am just Harold
He smiled back at me
And you are Jack’s conscience
Did you not see?
It’s a little like Fight Club
But just not as good
That’s a lot, lot less fighting
And some hideous food
And I stared at OH
I didn’t know what to say
I was once part of Jack
That she threw away
For a life of a grifter
And multiple socks
And harsh Twitter pile-ons
(But not any lox)
Should we tell her about it?
now, what SHOULD we do?
well...
what would you do?
I wasn’t expecting that ending
Were you?
Said the twit to herself
It shimmers like gold
Now, let’s loosen that shelf
I will take some more selfies
I will upload them now
Before the cable tries to
Work out ‘just how?’
They should not be here
In my Twitter, she scowled
You get of of this chat
Said the twit, then she howled
But we like to be here
Oh, we like it, you fool
Said the cable together
To the twit, who looked cruel
We will not go away
We do not wish to go
And so, said the twit in the hat
So
So
So
I will show you
Another mad chaos, here we go!
And then she typed out
(It didn’t look hard)
A load of tit meals
All containing anchoïade
A pile of crap meals
All linked up with some fish
Now look at this lot!
Said the twit
Pick a dish
Then she posted them all
With a flick of her thumb
I call this game ‘Bag us a squig’
They are dumb
In this game there are two
Basic aspects to show
The first is bad meals
Said the twit, that much you know
But the second is clever
They don’t see it coming
They don’t even notice
The money starts flowing
These things are the heartbeat
Of my grifting tune
With these things
I don’t have to work
What a boon!
And OH and I
Did not know what to do
The cable kept receipts
Of it all
That, we knew
But the twit was on high
The lights were all on
So she carried on
Telling them all
On
On
On.
Then quick as a flash
The lights all went dim
The twit looked across
At us two, things looked grim
She glowered and hissed
We didn’t know what to do
So we two just sat there
While her anger, it grew
I’ll never succeed
While the cable exists
Said the twit in the hat
They’re on to my grifts
And she put all her phones
On the stands in the hall
And she sat on the floor
Saying nothing at all
Then all of a sudden
The door swung wide open
And in walked SB
With a takeaway carton!
The twit looked alarmed
But I’ve made you some gruel!
It’s ok, said SB
You can stop being cruel
You can stop cooking nonsense
Just to get Twitter ticks
You can just be yourself
Twitter isn’t a fix
And I looked at OH
And he looked at me
I just didn’t get it
But OH, who are we?
Well, I am just Harold
He smiled back at me
And you are Jack’s conscience
Did you not see?
It’s a little like Fight Club
But just not as good
That’s a lot, lot less fighting
And some hideous food
And I stared at OH
I didn’t know what to say
I was once part of Jack
That she threw away
For a life of a grifter
And multiple socks
And harsh Twitter pile-ons
(But not any lox)
Should we tell her about it?
now, what SHOULD we do?
well...
what would you do?
I wasn’t expecting that ending
Were you?
This looks HORRENDOUS. I can’t wait to see how it turns out! You could try adding some reserved sunblushed tomato oil for some extra wetness?Jacks latest chaos has inspired me to take a look at some recipes and so I have decided in my infinite wisdom that I will bake one of Jack Monroes very own recipes.
[/SPOILER]This is the recipe I decided to bake. It looks easy enough, bizarrely I have all the ingredients and I have had courgette cakes in the past and enjoyed them. What more could you want?!
View attachment 1216962
View attachment 1216965
View attachment 1216966
View attachment 1216967
First step was to weigh out my ingredients. The recipe called for 2 courgettes but as I only had one I scaled the recipe down accordingly. I also don’t have a loaf tin so as half the recipe serves 3 generously I lined a cake tin with 6 fairy cake cases. So far so good.
the dry ingredients:
View attachment 1216988
Arguably, the courgette at this stage could also be described a a dry ingredient as I had wrung so much of the water out at Jack’s behest, but I digress.
I added the wet ingredients and the courgette which at this stage is in its own state, neither solid nor liquid, neither wet nor dry and try to mix it.
I also use apple sauce rather than marmalade or lime marmalade as I am not now and have never been Jack’s nan, so that seems off the cards as an ingredient as I do not wish to make a disingenuous cake.
View attachment 1216990
Is anyone else suprised that 125g of flour and very little liquid produces this:
View attachment 1216993
A batter so thick that a fork can stand up in it completely unaided.
Never mind, I remember she told me to juice half a lime and then didn’t tell me what to do with it so I decide it must go in at this point to wet it all up a bit.
So in that goes and I get:
View attachment 1216995
This.
At this point you are meant to pour it into a cake tin, it’s light years from being pourable so I divide it in to 7 (great number of cakes there jack) fairy cases with a spoon. It is so solid you could probably use a knife and fork.
View attachment 1217007
they are in the oven now, I’ll report back when they’re done
Me too, my wife says it smells and tastes like the dentist but I love itLate to the party here but I love root beer and *shan’t* be ashamed of it
I checked online how long to bake a fairy cake for and the timings varied from around 14-24 minutes. I decided to meet in the middle and go with 20.
The look: they are a bit burnt
The middle: is raw
The smell: is deceptively nice
The taste: the lime overwhelms everything and I can see no need for it to have been included other than the fact Jack probably had one knocking about the kitchen and needed to use it up. They smell of chocolate but they do not taste of anything but lime. They’re not sweet enough and you can’t taste the cocoa. You might as well squeeze a bit of lime on some blu tack and chew that
They also are claggy. No surprises there.
I will not be wasting further food by dusting them with icing sugar.
The look: they are a bit burnt
The middle: is raw
The smell: is deceptively nice
The taste: the lime overwhelms everything and I can see no need for it to have been included other than the fact Jack probably had one knocking about the kitchen and needed to use it up. They smell of chocolate but they do not taste of anything but lime. They’re not sweet enough and you can’t taste the cocoa. You might as well squeeze a bit of lime on some blu tack and chew that
They also are claggy. No surprises there.
I will not be wasting further food by dusting them with icing sugar.
Jack says these will serve 3 GENEROUSLY. I think what she means is infinitely as there’s no way you’re finding 3 people to eat them.
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I genuinely worry about some of the squiggles if this is what they think constitutes a delicious meal. No wonder they don’t question Jack’s cooking skills. They’ve somehow made the culturally appropriated slop even worse. Veggie sausages, mushrooms, extra mustard, paprika, coconut milk, pasta… 
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Thank you for your service and RIP your poor wasted ingredients. It is the black spot of an otherwise positive review here https://www.priyankaa-joshi.com/home/cookbook-review-jack-monroe-good-food-for-bad-days - interestingly, it looks like an old recipe you use but it's been recycled and yet STILL doesn't work in her last published book, Good Food for Bad Days. The results of which would make a bad day considerably worse. The reviewer thinks the issue might be that the batter's too wet, which is ironic given the rigidity of your batter!
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