Jack Monroe #272 Jack would like some attention on the internet

[Silver Linings]

Thread nom by @hydeist

Please remember to save thread titles until the tail end of the thread and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies.

Soz for no poll, the Jacks are many and all are…

 

[colouredlines]

I made a recap template:

In the last thread, Jack spent a lot of money on _____________.
She bought unnecessary ________________ to add to the piles of unused tat in the crappy bungalow.
She cooked a disgusting plate of ______________.
She told an improbable anecdote about ____________.
She blamed her awful personality on _______________.
She did/did not (delete as applicable) pay money to the Trussell Trust.

So:

In the last thread, Jack spent a lot of money on a holiday in Norfolk.
She bought unnecessary 1970s cookbooks to add to the piles of unused tat in the crappy bungalow.
She cooked a disgusting plate of chicken drummers.
She told an improbable anecdote about security at the House of Commons.
She blamed her awful personality on toothache, autism.
She did/did not pay money to the Trussell Trust.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Toot Toot!

In our last thread

Jack has been on a yomp around her Partridge homeland, where she found 25 old cordon bleu cookbooks for a quid each, her friends bought and carried for her. We tried to find the lie, but it checked out
She then immediately made up a lie on twitter about the armed Police at Parliament asking her name because she forgot her pass, then saying “I know you, you absolute ledge, thankspaceyou for all that you do” and just...waved her in!
All of Twitter became concerned about this sloppy security, and the fact that the tale sounded like a lie.
It’s ok, Jack said she *literally* can’t lie, because autism. Which is in itself, a lie!
She looks like Ben from 90s band A1
She’s got another skip, good times ahead, hope she live tweets from it.

 

[jenny2603]

This Squig has a theory about the policeman who waived Jack through and called her a legend. Taking an obvious stupid lie and somehow adding a whole new level of stupidity to it takes some doing. Well done Squig.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Excellent …. Love it.

Can I suggest 2 additions?

She did/didn’t deploy Coops to deflect her latest chaos regarding ___
She has/hasn’t used a filtered selfie of herself in a ______

 

[colouredlines]

Excellent …. Love it.

Can I suggest 2 additions?

She did/didn’t deploy Coops to deflect her latest chaos regarding ___
She has/hasn’t used a filtered selfie of herself in a ______

Also thought of

Her current future plans include __________.

In this case, becoming an MP in Scotland.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Still smiling about yesterday’s Parliament chaos, classic Jack, so much to unpack but we now know due to autism she literally cannot lie.

Still my favourite take of all, is that the hat is now famous, recognised by MP’s and is probably thinking about standing for Parliament at the next General Election, that hat is going places, and not just on her head.

 

[ednaturnblad]

View attachment 1142214

This Squig has a theory about the policeman who waived Jack through and called her a legend. Taking an obvious stupid lie and somehow adding a whole new level of stupidity to it takes some doing. Well done Squig.

Please if this guy is scared of asking a question about curry can he be removed from the police service expeditiously.

 

[PinkMariner]

One of our fave squigs is on it this morning!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I still think the books thing is a lie. I believe what happened is she saw the honesty box and the book shop but didn't get the books from there, I mean come on, the most obvious lie is that she has friends?! How come we never see them or their tweets! So she adopted some middle class kitsch story to appeal to her followers. As always with Monroe, there's a tiny grain of truth to the story.

 

[Awful]

Did the parliament story happen

 

[ednaturnblad]

I still think the books thing is a lie. I believe what happened is she saw the honesty box and the book shop but didn't get the books from there, I mean come on, the most obvious lie is that she has friends?! How come we never see them or their tweets! So she adopted some middle class kitsch story to appeal to her followers. As always with Monroe, there's a tiny grain of truth to the story.

By the sound of it her ‘friends’ are her extended family by way of SB’s dad. The one she co parents with. Cause she’s not a single parent.

 

[Awful]

Imagine being SBs dad and reading that though. Like how hurtful is that, reading she doesn't even consider you as a parent.

 

[ednaturnblad]

Imagine being SBs dad and reading that though. Like how hurtful is that, reading she doesn't even consider you as a parent.

Less hurtful than her letting everyone think he left his toddler son without heating, lighting, and very little food?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Please if this guy is scared of asking a question about curry can he be removed from the police service expeditiously.

Especially the armed police...

The idiot squigs scolding someone for asking about the 10k, would love to know what they mean by the "right time" to hand the money over. Is that usual then squig, for people to hold on to money they've raised for charity, and only give it to said charity when they feel the time is right? To not actually allow the charity to benefit straight away from the money that belongs to them? Honestly, the stupidity and ignorance of some of her sycophants

 

[Vinbisha]

Now, I'm just a silly old mithering ninny, but wouldn't a fairly sizable part of being security at the HoC be impartiality?
Like, does this policeman just stand there all day as people file past going "Legend...twit...sound lad...knobhead..."?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Good LJC I went to bed at 10pm and missed an entire chaos!

Jokes aside, how has she once again been invited to talk on a really important subject and subsequently, rather than promoting the issue, somehow MADE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.

She’s unbelievable. Also, having worked in an organisation supporting autistic people, they can lie like anyone else. How utterly and disgustingly ridiculous. She plumbs new depths everyday.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

By the sound of it her ‘friends’ are her extended family by way of SB’s dad. The one she co parents with. Cause she’s not a single parent.

But then....JUST SAY THAT. Say your extended family as they wouldn't be her friends if there was no SB. It's all so boring with Monroe, if you're going to lie at least make it an exciting one like finding yourself in the tunnels under the HoC and discovering a dead body thats linked to the Falklands war. And then Boris let her lead the investigation as she found it, so she bought a new flat cap for the occasion.

 

[ednaturnblad]

Especially the armed police...

The idiot squigs scolding someone for asking about the 10k, would love to know what they mean by the "right time" to hand the money over. Is that usual then squig, for people to hold on to money they've raised for charity, and only give it to said charity when they feel the time is right? To not actually allow the charity to benefit straight away from the money that belongs to them? Honestly, the stupidity and ignorance of some of her sycophants

And it’s not even her money - it’s other people’s. How dare they care it got to where it was supposed to.

 

[Awful]

Now, I'm just a silly old mithering ninny, but wouldn't a fairly sizable part of being security at the HoC be impartiality?
Like, does this policeman just stand there all day as people file past going "Legend...twit...sound lad...knobhead..."?

Remember though JM is so special that she (checks notes) makes special forces officers lose their professionalism for the Slop Slinger