Jack Monroe #261 Serial loser

[usefullyuseless]

Cabal, I'm not sure what you don't understand about the leggings hack. You wear the leggings on your head and you put the towel around your waist and thennn... you... save money or something? Makes perfect sense.

That Mary Berry retweet reads as though it's part of her weird hate-on for Bake Off and anyone associated with it. Did she get turned down for the celeb version or something?

Allegra did Junior Bake Off, maybe that's why Jack seems to hate all things GBBO

 

[JombleWomble]

It hasn't, all we've seen is a bunch of guff for months and today a mocked up cover. It's primary school stuff.

Oh I didn't read the tweet properly, my bad.
I don't understand why the working title is apparently an inside joke, but that's probably because I'm not enough of a maverick.

Well, I'd better get back to hoarding rubbish in anticipation for Jack one day telling me how I can feed myself or heat my bed with it.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Oh I didn't read the tweet properly, my bad.
I don't understand why the working title is apparently an inside joke, but that's probably because I'm not enough of a maverick.

Well, I'd better get back to hoarding rubbish in anticipation for Jack one day telling me how I can feed myself or heat my bed with it.

At least she'll get another free lunch tomorrow if the tale is true. Another day out in London perhaps?

(I dislike her being in London, even on my WFH days, I worry about her lurking down the avenues and alleyways (tune))

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Oh I didn't read the tweet properly, my bad.
I don't understand why the working title is apparently an inside joke, but that's probably because I'm not enough of a maverick.

Well, I'd better get back to hoarding rubbish in anticipation for Jack one day telling me how I can feed myself or heat my bed with it.

The mock up looks like a GCSE mockup of English coursework.

 

[ChactFecker]

It hasn't, all we've seen is a bunch of guff for months and today a mocked up cover. It's primary school stuff.

Shall we take bets on inclusions?

Fray Bentos tins can be used to make medium-large Yorkshire puddings (serves 6 if you a a Monroe) They are free of you collect them from your neighbouring poor areas recycling tubs.

Want to try fishing as a new hobby? Use otherwise discarded dental floss and paperclips as line and hooks respectively. Until you are sure you want to commit to buying actual gear.

On a water meter? Store your piss in old cordial bottles, pour them down the toilet once you are ready to flush,

The completely non absorbant glossy pamphlets you find at the bagging area of supermarket checkouts Can be wadded up and used as sanitary products.

In need of a new wardrobe? Wait until after a good downpour and go puddle hunting.

 

[jenny2603]

Cabal, I'm not sure what you don't understand about the leggings hack. You wear the leggings on your head and you put the towel around your waist and thennn... you... save money or something? Makes perfect sense.





Allegra did Junior Bake Off, maybe that's why Jack seems to hate all things GBBO

Gosh! Imagine the massive big fee Allegra got for Junior Bake Off and her already minted too. Just think of all the spoons she can buy with all that money.

 

[TraceyJacks]

(I dislike her being in London, even on my WFH days, I worry about her lurking down the avenues and alleyways (tune))

Spoiler: A&As

I have to check - gross or Tony Christie??

 

[Elastoblast]

Containing this gem :

View attachment 1082441
View attachment 1082442

Can't. bleeping. Wait.

Is Jack unaware of the totally (not) modern invention The Hot Water Bottle...surely boiling the kettle is cheaper than bunging on the oven to heat up all the baking trays which will lose heat in a matter of minutes. She's queen of overly complicating things

 

[Orphan_Black]

Spoiler: A&As

I have to check - gross or Tony Christie??

Spoiler: Reply

The gross one is good, but love the cheese of Christie. So Christie!

 

[Hollaaa]

WHY IS SHE SO OBSESSED WITH THE bleeping TOILET AND WHAT COMES OUT OF HER

She's a bleeping FOOD WRITER (supposedly). Imagine some poor sweet summer child thinking they'll hit up that Jack Monroe's twitter for some recipe ideas, only to be greeted with literal tit jokes and descriptions of the colour of her wee?

I don't have the stomach for this.

Imagine thinking someone wanted to pay a person $1 a word for literal rit (sorry MancBee) when it's all given away for free on Twitter anyway.

 

['EllsBells]

Turns out Sali Hughes is 5’3, honestly these two wang on about being teeny tiny, must be in lieu of a personality.

I am a total shorthouse and many years ago I had a colleague who was totally put out that I was half-and-inch shorter than she was. (She was a bit younger). So, in retaliation she informed me that the dress I was wearing would come back in fashion one day

 

[floozifer]

My top tip......save your bath water to clean your hamster cage. I won a prize for that. True story. Ol Jack's got nothing on me.

That man is making chicken nuggets today.Without black pudding, without frying AND baking. And without hair.

 

[Elastoblast]

View attachment 1082414

Oh I'm so looking forward to Grifty McGriftface's likkle smol book of Grifty tips for Smol Pixies. Am off to see if I can pre-order it from StagnantChickpeaWater-stones.com

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Is Jack unaware of the totally (not) modern invention The Hot Water Bottle...surely boiling the kettle is cheaper than bunging on the oven to heat up all the baking trays which will lose heat in a matter of minutes. She's queen of overly complicating things

Also surely they’ll damage your bedsheets if not your actual mattress? Like you can’t put a hot baking tray on a kitchen worktop for fear of damaging it, why would you put it on cloth/foam/down/whatever?!

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I am a total shorthouse and many years ago I had a colleague who was totally put out that I was half-and-inch shorter than she was. So, in retaliation she informed me that the dress I was wearing would come back in fashion one day

Now see I am more tall elf than smol pixie, but I did know a particularly vile smol pixie who would constantly bleat on about being a pocket rocket bits n a and how good things came in small packages until my stupid blurty mouth said ‘yeh, so does poison!’ and she never spoke to me again…

 

[Hollaaa]

The opposite - the pandemic gave her grifting opportunities. Like Sergeant Walker in Dad's Army

With leggings instead of nylons.

 

[Pocahontas]

Also surely they’ll damage your bedsheets if not your actual mattress? Like you can’t put a hot baking tray on a kitchen worktop for fear of damaging it, why would you put it on cloth/foam/down/whatever?!

And also maybe ... burn your leg and botty skin? Suuuuuch a stupid idea from Station Manager Jack.

 

[ChactFecker]

Also surely they’ll damage your bedsheets if not your actual mattress? Like you can’t put a hot baking tray on a kitchen worktop for fear of damaging it, why would you put it on cloth/foam/down/whatever?!

Yeah
Boiling water = 100°C (and certainly not recommended for hot water bottles which are designed for that purpose)

Pan straight from the oven = up to like what? 240-250°C?

Big maths.

 

['EllsBells]

My top tip is using pineapple tins (the small one) to make tiny Christmas cakes. Take out the bottom so it just leaves the ring and line with greaseproof. You need to watch your timings but when iced they make little treats to go in secret santas etc.

 

[kachoochoo]

Oh I didn't read the tweet properly, my bad.
I don't understand why the working title is apparently an inside joke, but that's probably because I'm not enough of a maverick.

it's an inside joke cos mrs beeton is just so niche, it'll be beyond the Poors and only mavericks will get the reference

and purple hair? what's the betting she's just left the touch of silver on a little too long?

ooh, edgy!