Jack Monroe #239 Error when subscribing. Please try again.

[Suffolkmum]

I suspect her landlady would jump at the chance to be rid of her.

Rather like the Fire Brigade

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Channel 4 have JUST announced Come Dine With Me: The Professionals. DREAMS CAN COME TRUE!

One small prob though, Nom, there is nothing remotely ~ professional ~ about Jack.....

 

[Pavlova]

Politics Jack gives me big student society politics vibes.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Pythagoras's little sandals are adorable, Sidey B!

 

[Emmapism]

Oh. Disappointed.

 

[instacharlie]

A) this is the kind of content we are here for. Facts, backed up by actual data. #deductionoverinductioneverytime (sort of).

B) If she is bringing in this much (over £20k) every year for doing pretty much nothing then her shouty tweets mean even less. Why are we the only ones who care?

Everyone else: ALPACAS

I'm here for the excel education!.......and the alpacas

 

[Lanie]

View attachment 985629

View attachment 985627

Is she is she really? I didn't know websites got fixed when you forensically tidied your kitchen. But good to know!

 

[Readingismyhobby]

View attachment 984065View attachment 984066View attachment 984068View attachment 984069View attachment 984070View attachment 984071View attachment 984072View attachment 984073View attachment 984076

It was Jack moaning about her “shitty kitchen “ which made me see the light. I saw the photos and saw a good size kitchen, nothing shitty.
The only idea of hers I’ve ever tried were tinned potatoes, they were rank.

Grunking but my draining board is on the left and this has never occurred to me that this is incorrect, furthermore I think it makes sense that way. I’m not even left handed.

My draining board is on the left hand side. Suits me, I’m left handed.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

My point being that if you sell within your fixed term 2/3/5 years in my experience then the bank will give you financial penalties.

Spoiler: Money money money

Currently going through this and have made many a spreadsheet the charges tend to lessen as time in your fix progresses, so if you’re in a 5 year fix it might be “only” 2% of your remaining balance in the last year, but 3% in last 2 years, 4% last 3 years, etc. It’s not telling you not to, it’s just more money to sell up but considering interest rates have continually gone down the last few years if you’re still at a high LTV (eg not in the last few years of a 30 year term) getting on a better product will enable you to recoup/actually save money over the rest of your mortgage term. It is just a shit pill to swallow and yet another cost to endure lol.

 

[BananaSmith]

Serious question(s): doesn't she have any actual work to do? and then secondly, if the answer to the first part is no, then how does she afford to pay rent?!

First, unlikely.
Second, patreon subscriptions. Can't remember the figures but even on the lowest level Jack takes in a sizeable amount each month for doing absolutely nothing.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Have to break it to you Jack, I’m as keen that there’s no subsidised piss ups as anyone but having hung out a few times in Strangers Bar back in the day, there IS a need for on-site bars and restaurants in the Houses - it’s called security? There are any number of visitors, constituents, researchers, assistants, admin as well as elected members and Lords hanging out there every day so there has to be food and drink. I don’t think it’s all that heavily subsidised when you consider it’s not a profit-making venture. Plus everyone in there has been vetted and gone through the airport-style scanner etc. You’d know Jack, as that happens when you go into No10 as well.
I also think you underestimate the amount of Uber/deliveroo/delivery services that would drop off a few bottles, some lunch and some snacks there to the staff.

subsidised arseholery

The teachers at the school my mum works at (and daughter's just left) have a beer/wine fridge in the staff room for after school staff meetings.

Jack regularly falls back on the politicians having subsidised food and drink. Obviously, there'll be some level of wrongness going on, there always is with politicians, but it totally ignores the fact that a lot of large workplaces offer subsidised meals for staff. She makes out like it's only there.

I bet, even after her performative 'guinea pigs at polling stations' photo a few years ago, she doesn't actually vote.

 

[Shawads]

If it was stuff she even liked! She isn't comfortable among it and so she constantly changes, rearranges, dumps it in skips and buys more. Lots of books = smart, kitchenware = actual food expert, things stacked and hanging everywhere = crayzee and eccentric like Allergra, sports equipment = athletic like LJC, notebooks/folders full of shite = professional author

It's all for pics on Twitter. I'd be shocked if she'd even read one whole book in that 'library'.

Well she definitely reads Nigel Slater as she made that hilarious joke about falling asleep with him the night before....

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

All this talk of lights being on makes me think of that time Jacked waxed on about the fire of a thousand sun's and a soft wool sun.

 

[MooBelle]

So have just done an estimate on her revenue for 2021 - this isn’t straight forward but please bear with the explanation of it and as you read the bullets look at the table to help visualise! Excel phobic fraus pls join us on this journey and rest assured we will guide you through it!

So we factually know how many subscribers she had per month - what we don’t know is which payment tier they’re on or the platform fee Patreon are charging her. There’s also more complex shit like annuals get discounted but I see that as going in the vague estimate of avg monthly sub?

Because we don’t know these two we can take a look at a range of values and decide the assumptions that fit for us. So along the columns we’re applying different patreon fees, with 12% being the very highest according to their documentation and I’d assume for the big boys raking in tens of thousands a month?

Along the rows we have different avg subscription values, from the absolute minimum of £3.50 up to a hugely generous £20.00.

So let’s run through some scenarios:
* The absolute bare minimum she’d have received last year is £10.7k, assuming everyone is on the cheapest tier of £3.50 and Patreon are charging their highest fee of 12%
* Moving along the blue row you can see how a change in rates would effect her take home, if she’s on the cheapest rate of 2% she takes home £11.9k
* Going all the way up to the most £££ assumption that the average sub is £20 per month, this would mean taking home £61.2k - £68.2k per year.
* Personally for me, I think the truth lives somewhere in the grey. I think her audience are affluent enough that an avg sub of around a tenner makes sense and I’d imagine that she’d only be subject to minimal fees, so a take home of £25k - £34k from this makes sense.

View attachment 986002

Ps can we pls discuss how ducking annoying the ads are when trying to do a long post????

I am in awe of your skillset

 

[Ninch55]

Now I think about it it’s extremely similar to a meal we had in a box last week…

View attachment 986760View attachment 986759

I know there’s nothing new under the sun and I suppose she doesn’t need Gousto when she has Ocado but it’s telling of just how much she lies and lies and lies about everything that this thought even passed through my brain.

(I feel officially like I have transcended a class boundary in becoming someone who can order recipe boxes. Wish there had been a teacher who had derided my working class background so I could passive-aggressively send them my order confirmation email: “See? SEE?! You said I’d never amount to anything but now someone measures out my herbs for me!”)

There’s this too, if anyone feels like cooking a hearty meal this evening. You can use clean cutlery though.

 

[Froggies]

View attachment 988564View attachment 988566

First result on ebay? £1.99

 

['EllsBells]

View attachment 986698

We had Bird's Eye large fish fingers (2 each), baked beans (as they come, not rinsed), two slices of Warbies' Toastie, cup of tea. Followed by Alpro Vanilla Soya yoghurt and sliced banana. We don't usually have a pudding but the bananas are getting speckled. I would ask Mr 'EllsBells to price it up per portion but can't be bothered.

 

[Lanie]

Jack might have a draining board on the left, but she has a double bowl sink.


If anyone is interested, my drainer is on the left with a single bowl. I know y'all couldn't care less

My draining board is on the right and I am left handed, ( never noticed or cared before today) life's so unfair! Discrimination in my own house.

 

[Flash123]

I constantly feel like I'm being told off by your avatar. Should I sit on the naughty step?

Have you paid your taxes? If yes, then carry on with your day. If not, Moon will sort you out soon enough

 

[PinkMariner]

Perhaps one of you learned Fraus can enlighten me; what is the point in steaming clothes? I have never owned a steamer, never felt the need to own a steamer and for the life of me can not see why I would need a steamer. I wash, dry and iron my clothes, or dry clean any that say dry clean only (very few). That seems sufficient to me.

It seems to be a waste of time and energy. Especially when Jack is then going to fold the items up and send them through the post so they will no doubt arrive creased.

I know, I know, Jack is never going to do such a thing, I shouldn't be wasting my time thinking about it.

I steam because I am too lazy to iron! Most of my clothes don't need ironing, but the odd one does, so I have a handheld steamer and if I have more than 3.5 seconds to consider my outfit in a morning, I have the steamer ready and can just wazz it over the creases and look mildly presentable.