No, you are wonderful.
I am sorry you're dealing with so much pain. I am also going to be a massive hypocrite and dole out a suggestion: If you haven't been offered transdermal pain relief like buprenorphine then it might be worth a shot if appropriate for your condition. It totally changed my life.
ETA I don't know how I fucked that quote up but screw it, I'll just do this...
@Shawads so you see it!
Thank you for your lovely post, brought a lump to my throat. I do deal with and manage a hell of a lot for one person.
I've not been offered buprenorphine, I'm really glad it helps you, I don't know anything about it so will look it up, I've been in a few nys run pain management groups over the years and always been amazed at the array of pain medication that I've never heard of!
is it anything like fentanyl? I had that as patches but it literally made me trip balls, I was pregnant at the time, it was quite terrifying as I had not expected such extreme side effects ( this was before it was known as a street drug , ripe for misuse)
I have had a nightmare with various healthcare professionals and drugs over the years, I've tried so many things and it's often side effects which make things worse. Despite my current regime being quite hardcore it's surprisingly the one with the least troublesome side effects, I get very scared of letting it go and trialling anything else. Although lately my organs are showing signs of damage, I do wonder if it's the medication, side effects I don't actually see or feel !
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We can probably have a chat about this in the food and drink thread if you like, the pain clinic moved me onto these patches rather than pills because everything was making me nauseous and itchy, and I was starting to give up on life a bit tbh.
It's very different to fentanyl, but I'm sure Googling will answer your questions!
If you are curious about my experience happy to talk in that thread if we're allowed, I can't give advice as a medic on this but as a chronic pain monkey I just want to help other people, it's so isolating and depressing.
Much love to you, sometimes I'm grateful that JM brought us all together (but I still don't like you, Jack!).