Jack Monroe #225 The squit has hit the pan

[BeautifulTrauma]

A reply to the comment about ‘NO!’ on the lid of the squash bottle. Yeah, that’s great. A rubber band as a tactile warning as well as the writing. Why not just not put the hideous concoction in a drinks bottle in the first place? Or at least not store it next to other drinkables? You can imagine a chef’s knife, stored in a drawer with softly soft soft gloves, and tips to ‘wrap the blade in fabric’ and write ‘OUCHIE SHARP!’ on the blade, rather than just putting it back in the knife rack.

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Mate, haven’t you learned yet the Squigs are as thick as she is? It’s fascinating herd mentality.

It’s not a, oh my gosh Jack, that sounds dangerous have you thought of *insert something sensible*, it’s just making her feel yet again invincible as they’re tit scared of her reaction to go against the grain.

 

[Vanelope]

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I came back (I was BUSY) and…

 

[Lanie]

Black pepper. Black bloody pepper! In everything. Even scents. POBP.

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Sounds like a man's body wash to be fair.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

update

Maybe tonight's the night

 

[Hollaaa]

Lively spray - completed it mate!

She‘s liked this tweet, I wonder why? Maybe this years Express festive column will be to thank Wills & Kate-mate?

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This is a thing for non-famous MBE services to the community types and their +1s.

 

[Lanie]

Marcus, marcus. Its me....

 

[Saint_clemmie]

A reply to the comment about ‘NO!’ on the lid of the squash bottle. Yeah, that’s great. A rubber band as a tactile warning as well as the writing. Why not just not put the hideous concoction in a drinks bottle in the first place? Or at least not store it next to other drinkables? You can imagine a chef’s knife, stored in a drawer with softly soft soft gloves, and tips to ‘wrap the blade in fabric’ and write ‘OUCHIE SHARP!’ on the blade, rather than just putting it back in the knife rack.

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Let’s not a worry about where she stores her squash and essential oil concoctions, this too can be filed under things that never happened.

 

[Hollaaa]

Marcus, marcus. Its me....

I'm outside your window, trollolol

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Mrs J....in print, in an actual published book!

Mrs J’s are inter changeable.

 

[Lanie]

I'm outside your window, trollolol

Pick me, I will dance with you in heels again if you play your cards right.

 

[Flash123]

Looks nicer than the risotto to be fair!

 

[Captainmouse]

update

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Maybe tonight's the night

Maybe she’s waiting for full moon

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Lively spray - completed it mate!

She‘s liked this tweet, I wonder why? Maybe this years Express festive column will be to thank Wills & Kate-mate?

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Christ..

 

[Lanie]

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Looks nicer than the risotto to be fair!

If had a choice of that and anything she cooked this last year. This would win....
!

 

[Ninch55]

It’s beginning to look a lot like Grinchmas
Everywhere I go.
I’m not going to buy a tree,
The presents are charity,
I’m even going to pretend I have no fam-ilee

it’s beginning to look a lot like Grinchmas,
That’s all I can say,
So keep the happiness to yourselves
Or I’ll bump off all the elves
Just to ruin your day

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Mrs J....in print, in an actual published book!

I'm sure all future Mrs Js will love reading that and realising how special and personal her pet name for them is...

 

[AlphaBetaDeux]

I’m so proud to say that I’ve just cast my vote in the Sloppies and to see a Novak Nail award has just ended me

In other news, I had been feeling a bit guilty about spending an absolute fortune in the Neom Black Friday sale but seeing Jack’s riff on it, I have remembered that sometimes it’s best to leave it to the experts

 

[Lanie]

Just remembered. I was thinking of asking my husband for Lemon and neroli perfume.

Don't think I will bother now.

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

I'm sure all future Mrs Js will love reading that and realising how special and personal her pet name for them is...

reminds me of an ex I had who used to not only do that but have the same special songs, spin the same special stories etc etc it;s laughable to think some twit fell for it n married him .. curse theyre divorced now

 

[Falkor]

Well if she does get on the new year honours then it will raise her profile and the tax paying or lack of it will be exposed so I’m here for it.

I'm almost certain that HMRC is one of the background checks they do before including someone on the honours list - they're pretty thorough, which is why it can take up to two years from nomination to award. I think the Ivan Cameron comments would probably not be in her favour either.