Jack Monroe #206 I wouldn’t trust her with a spam fritter

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MancBee

We are in a dark, dank and gloomy space. There is a tiny shaft of light penetrating the darkness. The floor is covered in what appears to be sponge squares that even in the dim light could be seen to be of various muted colours. In the corner you can just make out a cage, small and cramped, barely visible in the darkness. Inside is a heap of discarded vegetable peelings and a single piece of lettuce. It is hard to discern what the lump of grey fur is, but it has long ears, so presumably a rabbit. The animal munches on the inappropriate food, as it looks up towards the camera with an expression of despondency.


Well, now I have darkened the mood and we are all depressed as hell, can someone make me laugh?
 
Reactions: 58

TurnedUpInTipp

We are in some sort of church hall and our protagonist is stood, on tiptoes at a lectern.
She appears to have been in the pantomime costume box and has slipped the Fairy Godmother Tutu over the Dick Whittington outfit, while keeping her own runners on.
She grins, like someone at their first Creamfields event in 1999.
We cannot see if there is an audience.
 
Reactions: 49
S

Suffolkmum

PortiaControl said:
Yeah, nobody's got time for those captions. Especially when the photograph isn't at all engaging.
Click to expand...
I don’t follow many people on Instagram, just family, our Smol pixie and a lovely gardening lady Gracealexandaflowers. Her photos are beautiful and she captions and writes well. I was drawn by the photos, which unlike Jacks make you want to arrange flowers and not make slop.
She’s also just produced a book which she is actually sending out to people who have ordered it. Lessons there for Jack, but, then Jack is a literal expert.
 
Reactions: 31

Lanie

A woman shows her bookcase of totally read, selfcare books.
 
Reactions: 38

skronkywildcat

A new method of organising one’s life is unveiled. It, like many other things, is inexplicable. It is not a distraction or a procrastination technique, absolutely not. How DARE you suggest that? MY GRANDFATHER IS DEAD AND SHE LEFT.
 
Reactions: 28
M

MooBelle

Can someone do one on the grim kitchen picture please? The one with the ripped up floor and all those bizarre disgusting rags hanging over the door?
 
Reactions: 17

DisgruntledGoat

Absolutely living for how many times the word “inexplicable” has cropped up in these photo descriptions. Extremely telling re: Jack’s style.

Hashtag discourse analysis.
 
Reactions: 39

Hollaaa

MooBelle said:
Can someone do one on the grim kitchen picture please? The one with the ripped up floor and all those bizarre disgusting rags hanging over the door?
Click to expand...
A fire hazard training image from a former firefighter in her own mind shows rolls of paper piled dangerously high on top of wooden cabinets, the floor is littered with trip hazards including a rug made from shreds of DEAD people's clothes, pulled up floor tiles and a layer of dirt, furniture has been pulled into the centre of an already crowded room with units to each side and a curtain is pushed aside from a frosted opaque door making for a difficult egress in an emergency.

That's as far as I can get from memory, is there a character limit on Insta? I'm starting to think there should be.
 
Reactions: 40

Lanie

Its late in the evening and this very busy and important persons, show everyone just how much she has to do and has done on the back of pricey wallpaper.
 
Reactions: 22

Fruitjack

'No sense of shame is visible' for thread title
 
Reactions: 48

Switchstreetz

Jack Monroe reclines atop a sideboard, fixing the viewer with an unsettling dead-eyed stare. Her costume consists of a grey sports bra paired with some large briefs. Mesh inserts in the top at the sides appear as large sweat patches upon an initial glance. Her head is shaved, save for a grey braid which wraps around her head. The overall vibe is one that threatens.

"Something's simmering" the caption promises ominously.
 
Reactions: 52

Boyo

There is a tv presenter in shot. He is holding a fork with something on it. It is assumed he is at theatre school because he’s not yet skilled at convincing anyone that the fork is going to go in his mouth. He looks haunted.
 
Reactions: 61

Jelly Bean

A door to a dingy room is wedged open. Possibly has been for many years. On the floor is what appears to be a small dirty mountain range of many colours. Grime lurks in every fold - no cleaning appliance can go near.
Later the owner identifies this sinister object as 'Rug'.
 
Reactions: 47

Boyo

There is a young, elfin boy grinning at the camera, his skin like the finest photoshopped silk. He’s holding two Double-dips gleefully in his smol hand. He has spent his pocket money well. Parts of his head are inexplicably blurry.
 
Reactions: 49

Rekyavikgirl

I am outside. Here are my feet next to a discarded glove. Imagine it is a dead pigeon. Feel sad.

Fuck, what a haiku of misery.
 
Reactions: 57

Lanie

Ive been reflecting on the episode i watched of come dine with me yesterday, definately think he was inspired by her. His food was inedible, he had egg dipped on soy sauce plonked in dishwater soup he identified as Ramen and he used food colouring to disguise his attempt at sweet rice balls which he inexplicably fucked up. The guests looked horrified throughout.
 
Reactions: 27

EddieBeds

A jar of dust salt sits on distressed blue wood a piece of wall paper. The jar also has leaves and dried orange peel in it. The dust salt can be used in the bath or for a foot soak.
 
Reactions: 28
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