Jack Monroe #200 Yes you can freeze glass jars

[Orphan_Black]

She can’t even cook a decent roast potato for fucks sake.

I wonder what she makes her gravy out of? Nope bucket water with oven bottom scrapings?

They look shop brought. No evidence m'lud, but I'm betting they're foil tray ones decanted into a dirty tin.

 

[Captainmouse]

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She will hate that!

 

[Powershower]

I have one early night and I miss the wigs

 

[Lanie]

SLOPFACE!

I love how the mum has the exact same reaction as anyone else who first hears her plans for a new recipie.

 

[Powershower]

I think that's a possibility - it's a year to the day since she innocently tweeted "What does burnout feel like?", swiftly followed, after a bout of crowdsourcing symptoms, by a wail of "How the fuck am I going to pay my bills?" and her Patreon details. The perfect time for an anniversary grift?

Oh, and...

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Major dusty bin vibes

 

[Hollaaa]

not gonna lie, this looks glorious to me

Less of a bollock and eyelid concoction à la Brenda, more of an appendage interfacing with the George Foreman grill type incident.

 

[drusy]

Or a nice mulled apple juice in place of cider?

Sounds lovely-apple would be nicer with the ginger, than stewed, boak inducing tea.

 

[HotesTilaire]

i already had 2 sloups stuck in my head and now I'm going to have two (2) earworms all night!

One sloup earworm is not enough, Katch.

 

[Droosie123]

I went to see a friend yesterday who LOVES cooking and has a whole plethora of cook books. I noted two of Jack's books on her shelves almost hidden in among THAT MAN'S books.

Plus loads of other chefs....I could have spent all day just going through the shelves. I do love a cook book.

 

[EddieBeds]

The horse!!!!! I am deceased .

I've just cringed myself into a human spanakopita and I'm not even Greek. She is utterly devoid of shame. Take the hint, Jack!

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[Blurp]

Quite astonishing considering she recommend you cook them for an hour

Maybe she forgot to turn the slow cooker up.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Panicked Sorry Vix gotta go!

It honestly looks like she’s about to do a prat fall.

 

[LeftToMyOwnDevices]

What a wonderful look on you I must say.

Thank you @misshydrangea i look wonderful! xx

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Flippin Nora!!! How could I forget the gloves!!!???

 

[Captainmouse]

You've hit the(Jimmy) nail on head there.
All the supermarkets have in recent years done a cheap as chips Christmas Dinner recipe/shopping list.
Jack doesn't give a shit about animal welfare (shitty bacon etc) so buying a 4 quid chook is not beyond her.
She also thinks 'the poors' are in someway lesser humans who can barely open a can of beans let alone purchase an actual bottle of bubble bath without putting the contents of your compost bin in it.
She genuinely believes that the disgusting (paid for by Del Monte) advertorial in The Express was some kind of shining light beacon for the poor.
It wasn't. It was disgusting. No one would eat that.

FTFY
No one would should eat that. Except mackie of course

 

[Vanelope]

Dear hearts, I have been BUSY like a secret present elf to deliver this latest opus before the close of the thread #200 celebrations. No momentous occasion is complete without a little electroslop. Special Thankyou x to @HotesTilaire for coining the term sloup. In the name of the Grandfather, the Son and the Horse spirit, may you be blessed with an abundance of beans. Amen

 

[Captainmouse]

What a brilliant thread, the cabal are on top form. Even Jack had to acknowledge you with her "everything on social media is fake, now cry for me Argentina" tart. I'm loving all the kumquats, was there a harvest recently? I think Isa would love to be kumquatted too as opposed to twatted (by Jack).

Not sure if our resident hairdresser @misshydrangea is on duty today

 

[Captainmouse]

I'm going to miss the kumquats, lads.

Noooooooooooo

 

[JuliaGulia]

Just wanted to say a massive thanks from a (mostly) lurker, this is the most entertaining thread on Tattle IMHO. I'm hooting and fizzing at the hair-dos, sadly my trifle hasn't a head for a wig, but it does have a hidden kumquat layer .

Does any one else ever read Jack's passive aggressive replies in the style of Billy Eichner?
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Oh god, that's genius!

 

[Vanelope]

They really will. Slightly on a tangent but my very white wife arrived back in England a few years back after a two week holiday where I assume all she had done was pass out in the sun drunk because she was tanned as all get out. One of the first things that happened as she hit the street was having a shitty slur for Pakistanis thrown at her. Despite being white as fuck she was genuinely offended and confused (and not because she'd been mistaken, we'd only been together a month or two so I checked)

I'm actually surprised that given the identities Jack has adopted that she hasn't rammed her foot firmly into her gob more than she already has, plenty for her to weigh in on on both sides, but she seems to mostly stick to patronising poor Marcus Rashford.

More tangent but I totally miss holidays like that.