Jack Monroe #198 Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!

[lilamay]

Kind of off topic but @Orphan_Black I’ve just started watching your namesake show (I’m even more behind than Jack with tv) and wow it’s gripping!

Ah it's an incredible series! Enjoy!

Helena - oh how I loved Helena

and slightly on topic - 1:18 in this video

 

[hollowhusk]

Hi. Hope you don't mind me butting in.
Came to Tattle after being given the link to a thread on a home IG account that I HAD to comment on as know lots about the dishonest begger who's account it is and then found all this. Have now lost a number of days reading. Fret not though, as time consuming as this has been, unlike Jack, I remembered to care for the cat/cared for child without telling everyone how very difficult it is/didn't ask anyone for financial aid due lack of work caused by scrolling.
Anyhoo, please may I just ask for clarification/full goss on a couple of bits?

The green tit spaghetti. So, they actually admitted that they didn't get the gig because their food was tit? The pasta was undercooked? In a cooking segment where one should surely assume the person cooking knows how to cook what they are cooking? Or did they just claim it to up the Woe is Jack novel?

Tomato soup made from tinned tomato soup? Is that a real thing?

The grey sports bra? May regret asking but WTAF is that about? Did they advertise one or something?

The Vegan business. Are they actually admitting they went Vegan purely to make money from a book?

The curious pic of a 'black eye' I keep seeing? Whats that about? Not very good at applying their makeup?

And then a very quick look on the Twatter tells me -

Off for an x-ray, CT scan, ultrasound scans and steroid injections, so please distract me with your best photos of dogs, cats, quokkas, otters, sunsets, bonus points if you get more than one of the above in the same pic. Thanks!
In Beggy McBeg World, does that translate to "Send me sympathy, cash and gifts?"

And in another quick Twatter peek I see that they intended to drag a 70kg sideboard (plus cat) up a spiral staircase BY THEMSELF. Forgive me and correct me if I am wrong but surely the nature of a spiral would render the act of dragging a large rectangular object up it single handedly COMPLETELY bleeping PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE? Unless you're Arnie and can carry it above your head and even then I think he'd have a bit of a dab on by the time he got to the top. Might need a breather halfway.

Any light that could be shed or links would be much appreciated. Ta.

Here is the triple tomato soup. made of tinned tomatoes, tomato

Hmmm......
Well, that was an interesting catch up. Grateful thanks to you all for your updates and general jollity. Thats JOLLITY not JOLLOF. Ha. I won't be caught out that easily.
So, I do remember what I believe was young Jacks first TV appearance when the husband and I both said there was something a tad 'off' and I've just hurtled allllllllllllllllllll the way back to their first Guardian slot and here's where I'm struggling a wee bit.

To recap - scraped together £6 from corners of drawers, down the sofa etc. (Obviously not yet at the stage where £500 could be found in a puddle. Fear not young Jackanory, this day will come.) Living in one room with son in the house with 5 other people. Has been skipping meals but is now joyously skipping to the supermarket with their hard foraged wealth.

So, Point A your honour. Lets assume that the 5 people they share with are NOT related to them. What level of twats would they be to see a young penniless Mum struggle to feed their child and not so much as offer a can of beans and sausages? I mean, I've known some absolute Twuntathons in my time, but they wouldn't see a kid starve.

However, Point B your honour. The aforementioned house sharers were actually her 'rents and siblings. And yet they too were allowing their child and Grandchild to go without food. Assuming they actually are indeed the Wankwhistles who would do such an unkind thing, did they also padlock the fridge to ensure no contraband make its way into the depths of young Jacks personal enclave?

And finally, Point C, should your honour allow - I have a child and if they get into financial difficulties, lets pretend that I am indeed such a complete knob wangle that I would allow them to skip meals, not join in with family meals, not allow secret fridge snaffling etc - I can assure you, I would NOT be allowing them to turn my sodding fridge off to save (my) money.

If I have any of the timeline/accommodation details wrong, please accept my apologies and tell me where I have failed.

Thanks ever so.

Living with 5 adult housemates when you have a toddler seems weird. I doubt many young adults in a houseshare would want a toddler hanging around, and most young adults would also be drinking and partying making it an unsuitable place for a toddler to live.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Went on a city break to find herself and spent the entire time holed up in her hotel room with a suitcase full of blenders, cremating a mackerel fillet and taking photos out of her window.

Made a mad dash to Five Guys on her last night, because if you can't go a bit wild on holiday, when can you?

Her entire life is a fever dream.

 

[Yel]

Adding that jack Monroe's network bandwidth is low to the wiki

I can't find the screenshot right now, but remember when she did the whole "my son broke my mum of the year award and was distraught, but I told him.." I think we all know this too unbelievable even for a hallmark movie tweet ended

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Adding that jack Monroe's network bandwidth is low to the wiki

I can't find the screenshot right now, but remember when she did the whole "my son broke my mum of the year award and was distraught, but I told him.." I think we all know this too unbelievable even for a hallmark movie tweet ended

Here it is

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Adding that jack Monroe's network bandwidth is low to the wiki

I can't find the screenshot right now, but remember when she did the whole "my son broke my mum of the year award and was distraught, but I told him.." I think we all know this too unbelievable even for a hallmark movie tweet ended

Ah yes one of the many 'didn't happen' moments with SB, little empathetic philosopher that he apparently is

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Here it is

View attachment 666642

This is one of those moments where you can almost picture the scene that led up to the tweets. Polishing her award, eyes welling up at how proud of herself she is and wondering how she can drop it into a tweet once again to remind people she has it

 

[bladiesla]

Ugh, 'let's cramp four backdoor brags* into a boring story that never happened'

* I won the 'woman of the year award'
* I am too cool to care about it
* Look at me being a caring parent!
* All my great work that is out there in the world is crowned with thank you letters

Jack Monroe can get tae absolute duck (I know it's not allowed as a title, but it should be one)

At the other end she will then post one of those ' confessional mum' tweets for likes too. Something in the 'is it already the end of the holidays, ready to put him on eBay by now, haha' vain.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The accounts are still well overdue so that’ll give us a day of #content.

If I was her I’d be shooketh I’m not working on any corporate sponsored slop. You can’t rely on book sales alone when you’re shifting just 3k units a release!

 

[waffle maker]

Someone on my local subreddit wants to spend 200 dhs (£40) on a two week shop and they have no oven. What would Jack do? (What would LJC do?)

 

[MancBee]

The accounts are still well overdue so that’ll give us a day of #content.

If I was her I’d be shooketh I’m not working on any corporate sponsored slop. You can’t rely on book sales alone when you’re shifting just 3k units a release!

When someone has 300k followers and only 1% of those followers buy your book, something is very wrong. Especially a book called good food for bad days released in the middle of a pandemic, how much worse of a day could there be.

It demonstrates to me how the number of Twitter followers is irrelevant unless those followers are engaged. Even when she gets a good response to a tweet, it's usually only 1k likes, that means 299k just ignored it.

Full disclosure though, I have no idea how Twitter works, it just seems to me that if the vast majority of your followers ignore you, what's the point?

 

[Lanie]

When someone has 300k followers and only 1% of those followers buy your book, something is very wrong. Especially a book called good food for bad days released in the middle of a pandemic, how much worse of a day could there be.

It demonstrates to me how the number of Twitter followers is irrelevant unless those followers are engaged. Even when she gets a good response to a tweet, it's usually only 1k likes, that means 299k just ignored it.

Full disclosure though, I have no idea how Twitter works, it just seems to me that if the vast majority of your followers ignore you, what's the point?

The media silence gets me, shes been on and off sm, dropped some potential i am sick posts, hinted at possible rehab, mentioned her BFF during kicky ball YET the media have not even uttered their name. If that was Nigella or that man there would at least be a mention.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.da...ng-photos-CAULDRON-filled-packets-crisps.html

I mean Nigella's crisp hack made the news, but not the smol pixie who actually danced with a footballer.... nothing.

 

[discokebab]

Someone on my local subreddit wants to spend 200 dhs (£40) on a two week shop and they have no oven. What would Jack do? (What would LJC do?)

View attachment 666670

There are no tins there, LJC would be proud

Off topic: I really want foul now, my holy grail breakfast. I might as well be Jack because instead I'm going to have porridge on a hot day like this. If I had a slow cooker I could fire that up too

 

[MaineCoonMama]

There are no tins there, LJC would be proud

Off topic: I really want foul now, my holy grail breakfast. I might as well be Jack because instead I'm going to have porridge on a hot day like this. If I had a slow cooker I could fire that up too

What is foul? I assumed it was fowl.

 

[discokebab]

What is foul? I assumed it was fowl.

Huge variations on foul/ful across the Middle East and North Africa but it's delicious dish based on fava beans, oil, lemon and herbs/spices according to region. Sometimes intact beans, sometimes mushy beans, various accompaniments.

Pythagoras would not enjoy it

The King Of Ful

The customer was never right at Abu Adel’s legendary south Lebanon restaurant.

roadsandkingdoms.com

 

[waffle maker]

I think this is the foul he means. Right up Jack’s street…

 

[NomDeGuerre]

As if it’s been a year since Celery, Edinburgh?!?

Also kicking myself that I didn’t suggest “Oh Flower of Slopland” as a thread title at the time.

 

[Stickybeaker33]

I’m still catching up on this thread so I don’t know where this will land but I saw something on Twitter that was extremely funny and reminded me of Jack

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I’m still catching up on this thread so I don’t know where this will land but I saw something on Twitter that was extremely funny and reminded me of JackView attachment 666746View attachment 666748View attachment 666750View attachment 666751

Speechless!

 

[Pocahontas]

One of my favourite Jack claims?
That she had *silently* endured 30-plus hours of labour AND managed to eyeball her own c-section.