I never saw our second album being musicals covers but it’s a banger already
Jack Monroe #198 Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!
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Good enough for Rod Stewart in the 90s, wasn't it?
Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather
Since my gal and I ain't together
Keeps rainin' all the time
Life is bare, gloom and mis'ry everywhere
Stormy weather
Just can't get my poor self together
I'm weary all the time, the time
So weary all the time
When she went away
The blues walked in and met me
If she stays away, old sideboard there will get me
All I do is pray that LJC will let me
Snooze in the hammock once more
Can't go on, ev'rything I had is gone
Stormy weather
Since my gal and I ain't together
Keeps rainin' all the time
Keeps rainin' all the time
When she went away
The blues walked in and met me
If she stays away,
All I do is pray, that LJC will let me
Holidaying in the sun once more
Can't go on, ev'rything I had is gone
Stormy weather
Since my gal and I ain't together
Keeps rainin' all the time
Keeps rainin' all the time
I would like to see Lozza take the lead in Tommy Robinson-The Musical! He could do a rousing knees up to a number called 'a hundred fausand pounds- call that justice', and a ballad called 'I'm not racist - but'bleeping Laurence FoxI'd actually pay good money to see him cast in that role, I'm picturing Rupert Everett as Mrs Fritton in St Trinians, but with none of the charm
If only the “white trash shouldn’t breed” story were true, Lozza could nail that part as well. dream sequence perhaps?
Slowly gently, slop unfurls in the blender
Stir it, smell it, gloopy and untextured
The postie turns away with his nose in the air
Turn your thoughts away from the ocado in thorpe bay
And listen to the poverty of my time.
***Really badly written to the music of the night
Stir it, smell it, gloopy and untextured
The postie turns away with his nose in the air
Turn your thoughts away from the ocado in thorpe bay
And listen to the poverty of my time.
***Really badly written to the music of the night
Apart from the Wizard of Oz, it's the only other show that could justifiably finish with 'and it was all a dream'.
Book of Mormon has a hell dream - possibly Nazis are already in it. Johnny Cochrane and Genghis Khan are from memory. And Charles Manson.
Freshly Rinsed Beans, a (poor, hasty) reworking of Beautiful Ghosts from Cats (2019)
follow me home
to the bungalow
I will cook you
a weird pastitsio
should I give donations
when everyone gives donations to me
scared of the sentient rug
and the mirror's out to get me
all that I wanted
was a guardian contract
too poor to pay for a big asda shop
or Charlie Bigham
born into comfort
but no lilac Mercedes
everything to cling to
I never dreamed the groucho club would let me in though
and the granola was lost long ago
so I'll dance with these beautiful leeks
and the mole was lost long ago
so I'll dance with these freshly rinsed beans
follow me home
to the bungalow
I will cook you
a weird pastitsio
should I give donations
when everyone gives donations to me
scared of the sentient rug
and the mirror's out to get me
all that I wanted
was a guardian contract
too poor to pay for a big asda shop
or Charlie Bigham
born into comfort
but no lilac Mercedes
everything to cling to
I never dreamed the groucho club would let me in though
and the granola was lost long ago
so I'll dance with these beautiful leeks
and the mole was lost long ago
so I'll dance with these freshly rinsed beans
and 
at rhyming bungalow with pastitsio Kach!!!Deceased. Manc started my demise and you finished it!
That’s what the interval would be called.
Oh duck it, I'm a musicals nerd. If anyone wants to do these titles, go ahead:
Mamapapa, Can You Hear Me?
On the Street Where SHE LEFT
Slop is the Word
Ding Dong, My Grandpa's DEAD (I actually feel bad about this one, but she said it...)
Slop-a-slop-a-slop-a-sloppies
When You're Good to Mamapapa
Louisa (to the tune of Maria)
Mamapapa, Can You Hear Me?
On the Street Where SHE LEFT
Slop is the Word
Ding Dong, My Grandpa's DEAD (I actually feel bad about this one, but she said it...)
Slop-a-slop-a-slop-a-sloppies
When You're Good to Mamapapa
Louisa (to the tune of Maria)
On the street where she LEFT made me snort
My fave musical doesn’t exist, it would be Gay! The Musical from the IT Crowd
I lived in the Poverty, I lived in the Poverty, Poverty is where I lived (I’m a friend of Dorothy)
Ninnies, Ninnies, I hate Ninnies! (I like Willy’s)
I lived in the Poverty, I lived in the Poverty, Poverty is where I lived (I’m a friend of Dorothy)
Ninnies, Ninnies, I hate Ninnies! (I like Willy’s)
- Mamapapa Here We Go Again!
- Put Those Tins Back Where They Came From Or So Help Me!
(this is hastily-put-together but poignant musical about the theft of the Brexit tins)
During the title song the Cabal slowly emerge from the shadows holding candles (encased in tin cans), softly singing “LJC, Superstar”
When I’m in Southend, now, it bothers me
That my bungalow’s no longer shared with LJC
I have lost my pride
Her Strava’s far and wide
And I’m back on the street where she left
My jumper with the sheep
She’s live on Channel 4
We had so many bubbles no one could keep track anymore
I took a sled from bins
She stole my brexit tins
Then biked off down the street when she left
And oh, what a terrible feeling
Just to know that she lost her scarf
And when on Twitter I’m appealing
She stomps off like I’m having a larf
I’m in an aparthotel
It’s got a fancy fridge
I’d like to talk to her but I don’t think we’ll make that bridge
Besides she’s kept my phone
I’m truly all alone
But at least I’m far from the street where SHE LEFT
That my bungalow’s no longer shared with LJC
I have lost my pride
Her Strava’s far and wide
And I’m back on the street where she left
My jumper with the sheep
She’s live on Channel 4
We had so many bubbles no one could keep track anymore
I took a sled from bins
She stole my brexit tins
Then biked off down the street when she left
And oh, what a terrible feeling
Just to know that she lost her scarf
And when on Twitter I’m appealing
She stomps off like I’m having a larf
I’m in an aparthotel
It’s got a fancy fridge
I’d like to talk to her but I don’t think we’ll make that bridge
Besides she’s kept my phone
I’m truly all alone
But at least I’m far from the street where SHE LEFT
"and no squiggle in all of oz, no viggle that there is or was
is ever gonna bring me dooooown
(I hope you're happy)
(look at her, she's poor! get her!)
siiiiii-iiide-booooooards!"
is ever gonna bring me dooooown
(I hope you're happy)
(look at her, she's poor! get her!)
siiiiii-iiide-booooooards!"
Next scene, Jack lounging in an expensive hammock, surrounded by hanging wicker chairs. It is mid summer and her son is being subjected to a a list of outdoor pursuits such as lighting a camp fire with hair and repurposing a shed for no apparent reason....
Summertime and the livin' is easy
Fish are frozen and they're smelling high
My girlfriend was rich and I think I'm good lookin'
Then my girlfriend left, and Rish mate made me cry
One of these mornings
I'm gonna rise up singin'
Yes, and I'll cook chicken wings
And make all the vegans cry
Mm, but 'til that morning
There is nothin' can harm me
Yes, with daddy and mommy standin' by then muttered under her breath(but I will pretend they weren't aware of my predicament)
Summertime and the livin' is easy
Fish are frozen and they're smelling high
My girlfriend was rich and I think I'm good lookin'
Then my girlfriend left, and Rish mate made me cry
One of these mornings
I'm gonna rise up singin'
Yes, and I'll cook chicken wings
And make all the vegans cry
Mm, but 'til that morning
There is nothin' can harm me
Yes, with daddy and mommy standin' by then muttered under her breath(but I will pretend they weren't aware of my predicament)
Last edited:
Frauen und Herren- you have excelled yourselves tonight.
I am on public transport
and can't control myself anymore..."Mamapapa can you hear me" ...
@MancBee , I am losing it!!
Your are all brilliant. I would like to suggest that the coven takes up the role of greek choir, expressing sadness, fear, pity for the slop.
Before every show there is a long 'meet Jack' and a very long Q&A afterwards.
[MX MONROE]
For what you are about to receive
May the lord make you truly thankful.
[BRAMBLY MICE]
Amen
[SB]
[spoken] Please, Mamapapa, I want some bread and jam.
[MX MONROE]
[spoken] What?!
[SB]
[spoken] Please, Mamapapa, I want some bread and jam.
[MX MONROE]
[spoken] Jam??? On a BREAD!?
[COOPER]
Catch him!
[MX MONROE]
Snatch him!
[COOPER]
Hold him!
[MX MONROE]
Scold him!
[COOPER]
Pounce him!
Trounce him!
Pick him up and bounce him!
[MX MONROE]
Wait!
Before we put the lad to task
May I be so curious as to ask
His name?
[BRAMBLY MICE (whispering)]
Esssss-beeee.
[COOPER AND MX MONROE]
SB! SB!
[MX MONROE]
Never before has a boy wanted non-slop!
[COOPER AND MX MONROE]
SB! SB!
[COOPER]
Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store.
[MX MONROE]
There a dar, thin, winding stairway
Without any banister
Whil we'll throw him down, and feed him on
Cockroaches served in a canister
[ALL]
SB! SB!
MX MONROE
What will he do when he's turned black and blue?
He will curse the day
Somebody named him
[ALL]
ESSSSS BEEEEE!
[MX MONROE]
SB! SB!
Never before has a boy wanted nonslop!
SB! SB!
[COOPER]
Won't ask for more
When he knows what's in store.
[MX MONROE]
There's a sooty chimney
Long overdue for a sweeping out
Which we'll push him up,
And one day next year with the brambly mice he'll be creeping out.
[ALL]
SB! SB!
[MX MONROE]
What will he do?
In this terrible stew?
He will rue the day somebody name him...
[ALL AND COOPER]
ESSSS BEEEEEE!
[THE SNIFFING POSTMAN]
SB!
SB!
Never before has a boy asked for more
SB!
SB!
[TERRY THE SPARROW (RIP)]
Pray some decorum restore, I implore...
Let us face this case, it's
Unpreedented, qute utterly.
[THE SNIFFING POSTMAN]
He's disgraced this place.
[LJC]
Encouraging others to wallow in gluttony.
[ALL]
SB!...SB!
Lock him in jail
And then put him on sale,
For the highest bid
Glad to be rid
Of
ESSSS BEEEE!
[COOPER (spoken)]
Lock him up!
Collect his belongings then bring him back to me
when you've done.
To bed, all of you!
For what you are about to receive
May the lord make you truly thankful.
[BRAMBLY MICE]
Amen
[SB]
[spoken] Please, Mamapapa, I want some bread and jam.
[MX MONROE]
[spoken] What?!
[SB]
[spoken] Please, Mamapapa, I want some bread and jam.
[MX MONROE]
[spoken] Jam??? On a BREAD!?
[COOPER]
Catch him!
[MX MONROE]
Snatch him!
[COOPER]
Hold him!
[MX MONROE]
Scold him!
[COOPER]
Pounce him!
Trounce him!
Pick him up and bounce him!
[MX MONROE]
Wait!
Before we put the lad to task
May I be so curious as to ask
His name?
[BRAMBLY MICE (whispering)]
Esssss-beeee.
[COOPER AND MX MONROE]
SB! SB!
[MX MONROE]
Never before has a boy wanted non-slop!
[COOPER AND MX MONROE]
SB! SB!
[COOPER]
Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store.
[MX MONROE]
There a dar, thin, winding stairway
Without any banister
Whil we'll throw him down, and feed him on
Cockroaches served in a canister
[ALL]
SB! SB!
MX MONROE
What will he do when he's turned black and blue?
He will curse the day
Somebody named him
[ALL]
ESSSSS BEEEEE!
[MX MONROE]
SB! SB!
Never before has a boy wanted nonslop!
SB! SB!
[COOPER]
Won't ask for more
When he knows what's in store.
[MX MONROE]
There's a sooty chimney
Long overdue for a sweeping out
Which we'll push him up,
And one day next year with the brambly mice he'll be creeping out.
[ALL]
SB! SB!
[MX MONROE]
What will he do?
In this terrible stew?
He will rue the day somebody name him...
[ALL AND COOPER]
ESSSS BEEEEEE!
[THE SNIFFING POSTMAN]
SB!
SB!
Never before has a boy asked for more
SB!
SB!
[TERRY THE SPARROW (RIP)]
Pray some decorum restore, I implore...
Let us face this case, it's
Unpreedented, qute utterly.
[THE SNIFFING POSTMAN]
He's disgraced this place.
[LJC]
Encouraging others to wallow in gluttony.
[ALL]
SB!...SB!
Lock him in jail
And then put him on sale,
For the highest bid
Glad to be rid
Of
ESSSS BEEEE!
[COOPER (spoken)]
Lock him up!
Collect his belongings then bring him back to me
when you've done.
To bed, all of you!
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