Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

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Her shedding is horrendous. Just like Jack's hair, it's coming out in clumps. I might give her a reverse rat's tail but someone's going to have to donate a sideboard for a photoshoot. If you do give me a sideboard for free (including delivery) I'll write you a well good review on Twitter (y)
You could fashion it into a hat for tomorrow 🐈‍ The sideboard has to be a tiny cat sized one!
 
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Knit some hand warmers and socks for your arthritic extremities? A lovely crocheted cane-topper for the cane you miraculously don't need anymore?
 
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Where is the blonde wig Jack from?
I can see Andrew Cunanan and Jimmy Saville, but I can’t see Rose West.
 
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I know 😬 the introduction with the brave little wistful voice full of hesitation and the staring at the floor. Far from being nervous only someone utterly full of themselves could possibly watch that back and not be mortified.
Unfortunately, I suspect she genuinely thought this would launch her into a stellar music career. That is the level of Jack’s extraordinary but delusional belief in her own talents. It’s both baffling and incredibly embarrassing. 😬
 
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Surely the fridge was full of old glass milk bottles full of assorted fishy oil leavings and mixed vinegar dregs?
 
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Just noticed sheer white shirt, black bra underneath.
I may have my trigger warning priorities all wrong, but regarding Hindley and West
According to a fellow prisoner, Hindley and West got into a relationship very quickly, then after some months they split and hated the sight of each other. Rose said it was because Myra was a sicko who killed little kids, when pointed out Rose had also killed children, she said that was different because they were hers, she didn’t go taking other peoples
 
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I think the absolutely TERRIBLE example of the pages of her newest book (with the plughole hair and rusty tins with holes in them) confirms this, if nothing else. Perhaps her long-suffering publisher has finally had enough. Still can't believe she shared that on twitter, apparently with pride? Beggars belief.
I was thinking along those lines too. Maybe they’ve actually told her shape up and get them something they can publish, or pay back the advance. That might focus the mind somewhat.
In any event, it’s clear at this point that she’s getting very little, if any, work.
And I noticed that Louisa seems to be in Yorkshire a fair bit these days (going by her Insta). And it occurred to me that maybe she’s moved up there, as part of Channel 4’s phased re-location. Anyway, I don’t think she and Jack are together.
p.s. speaking of C4, I notice Allegra popped up on Steph’s lunchtime show to do a cooking slot today. Still no sign of Jack! But then noone’s giving her live TV slots any more.
 
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Maybe she's quietly, softly conjuring up fried noodles Eton Mess for people?

@MaineCoonMama, my daughter's first passport photo, aged 20 months, she looks exactly like a baby Myra Hindley. Same facial expression, same hair. It's slightly terrifying 😂
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