Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[Yel]

Any journalists should do some real work and actually read the forums as all the information is already written down. No need to interview anyone, the forums speak for themselves. I do think many of these hacks are looking for someone to chuck under a bus with their same old dirty tricks of asking leading questions and misrepresenting answers.

99.8% of articles have been terribly one sided and biased and tattle doesn't even give any response anymore because they only ever used 20% of it to twist to their own agenda. I'm sure they'd do the same for posters or just make up a poster all together to suit their agenda.

 

[AlexAC]

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Happy Anniversary

View attachment 631880

Best Tattle Day EVER!

“You know what, I don’t think it’s really her. It might be someone who knows her but I doubt it’s her” Lenny Briscoe, Detective, 24 June 2020

 

[MancBee]

Every time someone cooks a Jack Monroe recipe a fairy dies.

Well this fairy nearly died when I tried her tomato soup.

It's not homophobic to call myself a fairy is it?

 

[ThunderClapForCapers]

just had a peeky mink at her mentions and this photo is everything!

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I liked it better when it had a hat

Surprised no-one has gone for this one. I still can't work out if Emma Freud is intentionally playing the aloof role, or is genuinely pissed off being there.

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[bladiesla]

Saw this on twitter, making me think of the canal

 

[MancBee]

PRIDE POWER LIST 2021

Celebrating equality and inclusionLinda Riley - Founder of the Pride Power ListWhen we launched the Pride Power List in 2012, it was a struggle for us to find 100 names worthy of inclusion. Since then, in part thanks to initiatives like the Pride Power List itself, LGBTQI+ people and their...

www.pridepowerlist.com

I see that Jack has made it onto the Pride Power List. Alas, sugar mummy Linda couldn’t be bothered to spell her name correctly.

I’ll admit that I had a mean little laugh that she’s ranked below performative queer in distinctly heterosexual relationship, Jameela Jamil.

What a London/SE centric list, anybody would think that Gay people in the rest of the UK are not powerful or influential. By the way, in what way is Jack, or in fact half that list, powerful?

I actively dislike 25% of people on that list. Having been involved with LGBTQ+ activism the whole of my life (up North for the most part) and I have met some of those people. They are not nice.

I think 25% of them are self serving and self promoting idiots who care not a jot for anything that doesn't further their career. They are not interested in LGBTQ+ rights unless they somehow profit from it.

I have no idea who a further 25% are.

Good call on the remainder though.

ETA, in what world is Russell T Davies, less powerful than Jack? He's the writer of two of the most iconic pieces of gay TV drama in modern times,

It's a bloody joke.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Well well well….

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Few pages behind so if the convo has moved on apologies! This time last year I was watching the drama unfold whilst on a call, i was asked a question and had no idea what was going on so slammed my laptop shut and texted a colleague to say i was having Internet issues

 

[DinosaurSenior]

As part of my "Small Creative Business", I occasionally get asked to donate items to charity auctions. It's not a wholly selfless act - the organisers usually promote my website and Instagram, and that's great publicity for me, as well as supporting the charity, and it's such a great way to help raise money. I've had some real shockers in the past tho:

I gave what I considered to be one of my best pieces to a friend who was running an auction for a small charity she was the treasurer of, and when I went along to the auction, my work wasn't there. When I queried it, she said, "Oh we liked it so much we kept it but made a donation to the charity". Naturally she wouldn't tell me how much, and because my work wasn't on show I lost out on all the publicity.

On another occasion I took a long taxi trip with a piece, and when I got the charity office was told buy the organiser to "sling it on the pile", and he didn't look up from his phone or say thanks.

Another donation was made to a person raising money for a child needing medical care. Mine sold for £350, and the total raised was in the tens of thousands, then the organiser fucked off to Greece with all the dosh.

It's such a shame, because the good feelings I get from helping to raise money are just...tarnished...by shitty stuff like that, and put me off doing it again.

I just don't get the absolute nerve of people begging for holidays and stuff. These idiots (Instagrammers) aren't even trying to raise money for anything worthwhile. - just for themselves. I'm glad that businesses don't feel they have to bend over backwards for some nobody to say their holiday was "Fabulous, Guys!!!"

Rant. Over.

 

[Pocahontas]

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry for the double post (and I’ve banged on about this before), but, Jack has still written a grand total of… none, of her monthly articles for The Breakdown. You can’t really blame the editor of said magazine for lurking here.

screenshot from @Silver Linings

Joe Le Taxi was the wildest. Big Jack energy. I would vote Joe as “most likely to be Papa” just dropping by to hang out in the canal like

Omg. It’s just crazy enough to be true. Holy shit.

 

[Flumps]

Lads, I struggle to keep up these days/have too much shit going down, but didn't want to miss a Jackaversary*. Love to you all, you are the best cabal of evil trolls and hausfraus on the internet.

*Despite my forever shame of being far too kind to her when she did appear.

 

[MancBee]

Covering your windows with bubble wrap like it's the apocalypse or something

If there is a fuel burning device in the room it can be very dangerous too. Coal fires, wood burning stoves, gas fires, or even gas hobs all need oxygen for combustion and for the chimney or flue to work efficiently. If used in a room with inadequate ventilation they can produce flammable and/or toxic gases.

In my career as a building surveyor I have seen the effects of people stuffing up air vents in windows and walls. One man died when he blocked a wall vent because he said it was causing draughts, I had visited him just a month earlier and removed the blockage. He clearly re-blocked the vent as soon as I left.

In another case, someone that did as Jack has suggested, blocking all air entering the room around the window, ended up having an explosion which wrecked the front part of the house, and fire damage to the rest of the house.

Nice to see Fire Service Jack giving out dangerous advice that could lead to fire, property damage and even death.

 

[MancBee]

Thanks for the kind words, I know that they are truly meant, and they do help.

During my night of limited sleep last night (mind all over the place) my thoughts kept returning to Jack for some odd reason.

I can see that Jack is attractive, some might say pretty and she is photogenic albeit partially the results of photoshop. However she has zero sex appeal. She just isn't sexy at all. I don't know what makes someone attractive, desirable, sultry or alluring, but some people just are.

I have said before on here, I am not what you would call handsome, good looking or photogenic, but I seem to have that spark that people find sexy. I have no idea why. There are loads of stories, It became a bit of a joke with my friends (Christ we've only been in here 5 minutes, that sort of thing), but they would be far too off topic.

I just kept going round and round trying to make sense of why she is so unsexy, what makes her so unappealing and without any sensuality. She is not raunchy in any way even when she tries to be sexy it comes across as yucky, or gauche darling (granny pants anyone)............ Well at least it kept me occupied.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I'm just thinking about an alternate universe in which that photo of Jack is the version that was made into the mask kindly #gifted to @kachoochoo. It's fine, I didn't actually want to sleep tonight anyway.

 

[Eurgh]

‘she seems to actively be making her home more flammable’

This line has killed me.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Or how many kind and sympathetic Patreon subscribers it cost.

On a side note - if you severe depressives need a pick me up, The breakdown magazine (god love ‘em) have tweeted an article for a list of tunes that will do just the trick! Not clicking through because they don’t deserve my traffic so I am afraid the mystery of WHAT songs work will remain, for me. Almost makes me wish for a good old honest slop recipe!

The more I learn about the Breakdown the more I don’t blame Jack for staying the hell away (she should never have accepted the position of writing monthly for them though).

As an actual severe depressive* and music lover I couldn’t resist checking out that list. Here it is if anyone else is curious, so we don’t give them the clicks. I’m shocked that a certain cover of Landslide isn’t included.

(*edited to add. I’m not mentioning the depression thing in a sad-fishing way, I just love that it gives me a legitimate reason/perspective to dismiss everything Hat*ies’s magazine is about ).

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@MancBee you've got to stop coming for undercuts like that I'll have you know that I am both edgy and cool.

Anyway, great news RE: curing mental illness with music. The NHS could've saved so much money on a three month out-of-county hospital stay by just handing me a USB stick with S Club 7 on it. I'm binning all my medication, from now on it's twice daily infusions of certified bangers, herbal teas and positive vibes only. Namaste