Jack Monroe #191 The sound of silence

[heretoreaditall2019]

Just seen the doctor and Pru’s show advertised on ch4....... not sure if anyone else has speculated but is it possible LJC knew this was coming up and put Jack’s name in, hence the proof of concept partnership?

How Louisa Jane Compton hasn’t cringed herself into a ball is beyond me

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

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Jack should consider getting an assistant...

You’ll probably have to send a few more squig before you realise you’re not getting what you ordered.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

"I bought something from your online shop" well that was your first mistake Squig, you're actually expecting to receive it? This is Jack Monroeflake we're talking about. As someone who has stupidly bought one of Jack's jokebooks before, it'd be really good if she could stop conning people out of their hard earned cash. Not able to fulfill orders right now? Make purchases temporarily unavailable on your site please.

 

[Pocahontas]

Practical Joker seems out of place until you get to the part where they congratulate Jack on the food

Plus don’t forget Jack is the consummate practical joker cos she likes to streak in the background of professional zoom calls for lols.
Edit: I didn’t mean to make people sick

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Is she still pretending that she is paying the assistant (or just her hands) for over 14 months now without requiring her to do any work?

Buuuuullllllllsssshhit.

 

[discokebab]

Its really really bad customer service tis all if she's out of office she should have shut shop. Back in 5.

Doesn't make enough sales and Jack forgot about it maybe?

Best wishes @MaineCoonMama <3

 

[HotesTilaire]

Is she still pretending that she is paying the assistant (or just her hands) for over 14 months now without requiring her to do any work?

Buuuuullllllllsssshhit.

Jack is schrodering the payment of Caroline W.H. Hands (no relation to Russell ) in that the wages are being paid directly from Jack’s own pocket and via the government furlough claim scheme, meaning Jack is both paying the full cost and not paying any cost.

ETA hope it clears up, at least you have some munchie entertainment, unlike the cabal! Very ouchie you have my empathy.
ETA eta the ETA was for @MaineCoonMama !!!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Jack is schrodering the payment of Caroline W.H. Hands (no relation to Russell ) in that the wages are being paid directly from Jack’s own pocket and via the government furlough claim scheme, meaning Jack is both paying the full cost and not paying any cost.

ETA hope it clears up, at least you have some munchie entertainment, unlike the cabal! Very ouchie you have my empathy.

That all makes perfect sense and seems truthful and above board. I don’t know how I doubted her.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I think we'll get pass-ag "I'm sorry your postcard is more important than my health. My assistant is furloughed, my fiancée LEFT, and I am a struggling single mum going through a hard time. Namaste "

"don't DARE question me! I am in TREATMENT. I am not HERE. the post office will NOT let me send ANY more parcels! I WORK 100 hours a week. a CABAL of MENDACIOUS trolls is preventing me from doing my JOB. I do this all for FREE! and you EXPECT items you have PAID FOR? get to duck"

Oh it will. 'I have no proof you bought anything online. How am I supposed to know? My laptop is 40 MILES AWAY so what do you expect me to do? This continual harassment is hindering MY RECOVERY. I suggest you get a good lawyer if you continue with these accusations because I certainly have one. Please leave me alone'.
Is my rough guess.

Aaaahhh it's like she's here!

I want to do one too:

"Hi [squig name], if you haven't received something you've purchased on my website it's because you haven't left your address. I can't check because my _first phone_ is in the hall charging and I'm in bed on my _second phone_ which is only on 1% battery. I'm SEVERELY EXHAUSTED from intensive treatment and this is adding to my stress. I'm prioritising my health over work at the moment, hope that's OK with you?"

*follow up tweet #1*
"Gone very quiet there [squig name], I take it you're double-checking your emails? I was starting to feel like I'd made an iota of recovery from my LONG COVID and ACUTE BURNOUT but your nasty, bullying tweet has rendered me a hollow, howling husk once again. I hope you're pleased with yourself."

*follow up tweet #2*
"Anyone else who wants to send me complaints and claim they haven't received items they've paid for, can I please ask that you message me privately instead of tweeting me publicly. I hate having to say this, but knowingly adding to the stress of someone who's been open about their recent breakdown is the lowest of the low and you should be ashamed of yourselves. ThankYOU."

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Well the lack of chaos was anticlimactic, a drawer cock dysfunction if you will. It will be interesting to see what comes of the accounts being overdue though.

I can't remember if I'm just making this up or mis remembering but did Jack not make out she had a harder life than an NHS nurse on Twitter? And she said as much to the nurse?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Well the lack of chaos was anticlimactic, a drawer cock dysfunction if you will. It will be interesting to see what comes of the accounts being overdue though.

I can't remember if I'm just making this up or mis remembering but did Jack not make out she had a harder life than an NHS nurse on Twitter? And she said as much to the nurse?

Was it maybe this?

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Was it maybe this?

View attachment 590329

Is squiggle being sarcastic or are they fawning? I can’t tell anymore with them.

 

[fauxpoor]

Will this pandemic never end?! No, not that pandemic...the one relentlessly striking our avian friends.

(please don't 🔺️ my shadow)

View attachment 589616

Does anyone else see a piggy snout on the shadow?!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Is squiggle being sarcastic or are they fawning? I can’t tell anymore with them.

Looking back (it’s from around thread 140ish?) the squiggle was a nurse and it was decided it MUST be sarcasm.

 

[Hollaaa]

Hope you feel better soon @MaineCoonMama - I'd send cattos but you're better stocked in that department than I am so I'll just keep my fingers crossed for a nice chaos to lift your spirits.

 

[Emmapism]

Aaaahhh it's like she's here!

I want to do one too:

"Hi [squig name], if you haven't received something you've purchased on my website it's because you haven't left your address. I can't check because my _first phone_ is in the hall charging and I'm in bed on my _second phone_ which is only on 1% battery. I'm SEVERELY EXHAUSTED from intensive treatment and this is adding to my stress. I'm prioritising my health over work at the moment, hope that's OK with you?"

*follow up tweet #1*
"Gone very quiet there [squig name], I take it you're double-checking your emails? I was starting to feel like I'd made an iota of recovery from my LONG COVID and ACUTE BURNOUT but your nasty, bullying tweet has rendered me a hollow, howling husk once again. I hope you're pleased with yourself."

*follow up tweet #2*
"Anyone else who wants to send me complaints and claim they haven't received items they've paid for, can I please ask that you message me privately instead of tweeting me publicly. I hate having to say this, but knowingly adding to the stress of someone who's been open about their recent breakdown is the lowest of the low and you should be ashamed of yourselves. ThankYOU."

This is PERFECT. If you are a newbie wanting to know why we are all here commenting on Saint Jackie, then you couldn't get a better example of the kind of shite she comes up with than this.

Person 1: I've given you money for something and haven't received said thing. Can I have it please?'

Jack: 'First off, here are all the reasons why you shouldn't expect anything from me, have a dollop of guilt on the side because treatment/breakdown/20 hours work a day/poor'

Person 1: 'Oh I feel awful now. Have an apology for some reason. Clearly it is I who am in the wrong'

 

[Limey]

"don't DARE question me! I am in TREATMENT. I am not HERE. the post office will NOT let me send ANY more parcels! I WORK 100 hours a week. a CABAL of MENDACIOUS trolls is preventing me from doing my JOB. I do this all for FREE! and you EXPECT items you have PAID FOR? get to duck"

Takes me back to the good old days of the Cooking On A Bootstrap 'updates' Great times.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Well the lack of chaos was anticlimactic, a drawer cock dysfunction if you will. It will be interesting to see what comes of the accounts being overdue though.

I can't remember if I'm just making this up or mis remembering but did Jack not make out she had a harder life than an NHS nurse on Twitter? And she said as much to the nurse?

I seem to recall a (standard) cuntish response to a squig that went something like "You wouldn't last a week with my workload and responsibilities" and I want to say the squig in question turned out to be...if not an NHS nurse, then certainly someone with a very stressful, undervalued job. Could it have been that maybe?

 

[schmetterling]

lots of love and feel better soon @MaineCoonMama xxx

 

[traumatised sideboard]

This is what I see in the shadow: a glove assassination! I bet you thought you could get away with it @colouredlines but you forgot to account for the super sleuthing skills of Detective Inspector TS