Jack Monroe #189 Food Crime Pie

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It's from a BBC article, not sure if it's an extract from a book though
 
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Professionalism on a bootstrap
 
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They look delicious @Billybellend - and maybe a hint of Reece’s cups about the end product which I also love! Have bookmarked for my next cookie session! Cheers!

Back to Jack - I knew this recipe was a variation of most simple cookie recipes. I also make a lot of all butter shortbread for strawberry shortbread afternoon teas, so I am not a stranger to the butter/sugar/flour and work until smooth and pliable etc. It was more to see if Jacks recipe worked. And, as we have come to expect, it doesn’t unless you tweak and add to it, and change the cooking time etc etc. And even then, the end product is a bit of a let down. Her flowery descriptions of wonderful perfection only add to the disappointment and feeling you must have got something wrong.
 
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I see the face of a smol robot in your measuring pots!
 
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I see the face of a smol robot in your measuring pots!
Rumbled! I am Twatbot!

Please don’t look too closely at the ones on the right. They look a bit dusty! I rarely even use cups and am more of a scales sort of baker but I have them in case of an American recipe I fancy having a go at! Only wanted to show I am not a “Fuck it, Chuck a tablespoon in” kinda gal (or bot!).
 
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Oh, no criticism of you and your stellar efforts! We all know who is to blame here.
 
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they look CLAGGY
 
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I swear Nigella had a thumbprint cookie in the kids section of her “How To Be A Domestic Goddess” book. Let me check my copy, I’ll be five minutes

Edit: I must have been thinking of these. Thumbprint cookies are all over the Internet anyway, Jack almost certainly nicked a recipe from BBC Good Food and made it worse, like she usually does.

 
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Our local Morrisons goes mental with their bags on TGTG, too much to carry home unaided.
 
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@Vanelope I was planning on siphoning off a small amount of ingredients from the meal I was already cooking to make a scaled down version of the recipe suitable for a brambly mouse so I SHAN'T be wasting anything.

On the topic of bin bags (I honestly don't want to encourage a discourse on bin bags ), yesterday a sequence of events led from using a biodegradable bin bag to being late to the gym because there was a mouldy butter bean hidden in my shoe. In fact, that was the inspiration for my latest recipe: a fermented butter bean beurre blanc base with spiralised lettuce and vegan bacon crumble from just 7p a serving!
 
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Bloody love Too Good To Go. Haven't had a bag in a while but I've only ever had epic bargains from 'em. Sad to hear about the crab sticks.

(Things I never thought I would type volume 3)
 
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honestly, I'm torn between "ffs, stop wasting food making these absurd recipes, fraus" and "Louisa J Christ, these are fucking hilarious"

I kinda really want to try something of hers for the shits and giggles. need something low stakes that can go on the big tree stump up the road where everyone leaves leftovers for the squirrels
 
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Scant is definitely a word Jack picked up from Mom - a scant teaspoon of…

It’s just so depressing when talented cooks and bakers like the fraus here end up with slimy slow cooker bread? And squishy tomato bread pucks? I’m so glad you SHAN’T be wasting things for our amusement TS.
 
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they look CLAGGY
Claggy is spot on. I won’t bin them, zero waste fraus. I hate waste and food is about 25% more expensive here on average...more so for fresh stuff (I paid just over a pound for ONE yellow pepper from Lidl this week! ). It’s why I went for a simple, affordable, and hopefully edible recipe! Not going anywhere near anything involving rinsed cans or bags of spinach!
 
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Considering how long she has been radio silent we have done remarkably well keeping on topic thanks to the Slop Experiments - well done Cabal.
 
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Talking of spinach, she's made some interesting concoctions with it in her time. Wonder what this is like, and what holds the tinned spinach together??
 

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That caption. All six people (who had a thimbleful) raved about it. Of course they did, Jack - they were probably scared you would crack open the pineapplee and kidney beans! The raving was pure relief!

It looks awful. Really bad!

PS - frozen spinach come in round clumps like that. Not tinned.
 
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Talking of spinach, she's made some interesting concoctions with it in her time. Wonder what this is like, and what holds the tinned spinach together??
That looks really unappealing. Why not wipe the dish before baking?
I'm sure giving it a quick swipe with a clean Chux cloth or even a tissue wouldn't affect the price. Also as if she has six friends.
 
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