Jack Monroe #189 Food Crime Pie

[Captainmouse]

I predict she will come up with something based on shakshuka next
and
I think I have found the secret of the hands

PIXI Glow Mud Cleanser - Boots

Buy PIXI Glow Mud Cleanser and Collect Advantage Card Points when you spend £1.

www.boots.com

 

[Lanie]

Hopefully it'll soothe your soul to know all the slimy bread I threw out for the birds this morning was mostly gone just now as we walked pass again. Some poor feathered fucker was game. So not a complete waste xxx

(Jack Monroe; Wildlife ambassador)

They will come back for vengeance and tit all over your car.

 

[Eurgh]

I predict she will come up with something based on shakshuka next

Tinned tomatoes and slimy raw eggs with a pinch of mixed herbs and softy soft cheap white bread. I can't wait.

 

[Lanie]

Hoping the pixie is recovering well, however didn't she say that her drs were predicting her to be better by Tuesday? Hope everything is going to plan pet.

 

[Powershower]

I am about to move house and need to use up my tins and other bits and bobs. I don’t even know where to begin with the hideous options available. But if I do stumble across anything that matches up roughly with what I have, I’ll happily take one for the cabal.

What I have in the house:
Mouldy old under-the-sofa crumbs
Heinz Beans (rinsed)
Two frozen Mackerel fillets
Black olives - tinned
Oil is oil is oil OIL
Long blonde drain hair

Pretty sure this is all I need for headrush spaghetti, no?

If you can’t find drain hair, cat hair will do just as well

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I thought that was Tuesday last week? Or am I just confused?

I have POCH (Plenty of Cat Hair) should anyone need it, ping me an email.

[email protected]4dayz.au

PS I'm going to make Shakshuka on the weekend, looks amazing

 

[Funsizes]

Loving all the science experiments guys, thanks so much for the laughs!!

 

[Captainmouse]

Bit of a massacre

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I thought that was Tuesday last week? Or am I just confused?

I have POCH (Plenty of Cat Hair) should anyone need it, ping me an email.

[email protected]4dayz.au

PS I'm going to make Shakshuka on the weekend, looks amazing

Amazing

 

[Mr Krabs]

I predict she will come up with something based on shakshuka next
and
I think I have found the secret of the hands

PIXI Glow Mud Cleanser - Boots

Buy PIXI Glow Mud Cleanser and Collect Advantage Card Points when you spend £1.

www.boots.com

She already did! https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2019/03/30/shakshuka-recipe/

My favourite quote? “It’s not because I’m actually fancy, it’s because some of the most basic cooking skills are my Achilles heel, and I’m probably never going to get them right.”

I mean, you could learn some love. You’ve had a decade.

 

[Hollaaa]

I want to take back what I said about beans being a good substitute for potato in soup. They are not. I have been suffering. Things like that usually don't bother me. I will definitely not be touching the kombucha if a recipe emerges.

 

[matchakitkat]

How the duck did I miss this?

I was not at all BUSY so I was digging through the archives. Jack time is bendier than the slimy streak in slow cooker bread. So it was 2 months ago today that we had stalker-gate. I was going to say teacher-gate but realised there were more than one incident we could call that.
So yeah, stalker gate where Jack revealed she had been groped by a primary school teacher at age 9 and stalked by him ever since, causing her to change her name and move house, take out credit cards and debt in order to pay him off, pull out of running in the election and...he lives just over the road. The tweets are still up.
Then two weeks later and it’s all pink sofas and ODAAT in east London.

 

[Pocahontas]

Bit of a massacre
View attachment 572057

I’m guessing they live round the corner from Orphan Black?

 

[Orphan_Black]

She already did! https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2019/03/30/shakshuka-recipe/

My favourite quote? “It’s not because I’m actually fancy, it’s because some of the most basic cooking skills are my Achilles heel, and I’m probably never going to get them right.”

I mean, you could learn some love. You’ve had a decade.

'scoop your hot sloppy spicy egg into it to serve'

 

[MancBee]

She already did! https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2019/03/30/shakshuka-recipe/

My favourite quote? “It’s not because I’m actually fancy, it’s because some of the most basic cooking skills are my Achilles heel, and I’m probably never going to get them right.”

I mean, you could learn some love. You’ve had a decade.

She breaks in the eggs and then boils for 2 minutes, then reduces heat to medium for another 5 with a lid on. And the egg yolks are runny? Don't think so.

 

[Captainmouse]

I’m guessing they live round the corner from Orphan Black?

Distinct possibility or poor @Hollaaa

 

[kachoochoo]

literal food expert unable to poach eggs and using "sloppy" twice in a recipe

mmm... appetising

 

[Vanelope]

literal food expert unable to poach eggs and using "sloppy" twice in a recipe

mmm... appetising

She’s read here too much and has internalised ‘slop’

edit spelling fail

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[colouredlines]

She’s read here too much and has internalised ‘slop’

edit spelling fail

Maybe she's trying to reclaim the slur?

Sadly most of these recipes pre-date the cabal, which suggests that Jack genuinely believes that describing her food as slop, comparing it to a puddle of vomit, etc, is a good thing.

View attachment 572143

YOU'RE IN YOUR THIRTIES. I know Jack is the kind of person who uses "adult" as a verb, but come on, "teehee I'm so financially incompetent" has never been a good look.

Also...when she was so poor she sold the lightbulbs and kept the fridge turned off, she never bothered to read up about keeping costs down? Really?