Jack Monroe #188 Jack sits on a train of lies

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Later that day, poor Caroline was ‘treated’ to this monstrosity as Jack was pretending to be running a restaurant in her living room like when she played dress-up in Allegra’s professional kitchen. Rumour has it that her hands haven’t been seen since.

View attachment 569081

So poor Caroline no-hands had abominable soup for breakfast AND lunch?! Her poor stomach. As someone else said, no wonder she ran at the first sniff of a pandemic.

 

[Captainmouse]

They’ve launched a money saving robot with a really annoying advert

 

[Flash123]

Jesus, that’s an abomination.
Can you imagine being woken up to that.
Re her most awful dishes. The whole of the Christmas lunch. Which I think demonstrates how much they hates food and cooking and possibly doesn’t care for loved ones much either.
Although, I suspect they were tucking into a full Waitrose delivery.

The claim that she didn’t make roasties and NO ONE MINDED has to be the biggest Jack lie ever!

 

[Captainmouse]

The claim that she didn’t make roasties and NO ONE MINDED has to be the biggest Jack lie ever!

Have you tasted her roasties? Maybe they are wise

 

[LavaFlake]

(From 2016)

I'm calling the police for crimes against risotto.

It's so... wet. And with mandarins chucked in

 

[MaineCoonMama]

How does she makes peas look bad!! They're perfectly round and cute and those in that alleged rice dish look like the ones found at the bottom of the freezer. Wrinkled and freezer burned. Hands of death when it comes to food, fair dinkum.

 

[NP]

The day she posts a photo of a burger & chips I will be shooketh. I love a good stew or a one pot dish but not for every single meal.

 

[Captainmouse]

(From 2016)

I'm calling the police for crimes against risottos. View attachment 569194It's so... wet. And with mandarins chucked in

Vegan prawns! Keep up

 

[Eurgh]

Plot twist...Caroline has hands BUT NO TEETH!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Plot twist...Caroline has hands BUT NO TEETH!

Just a pair of disembodied hands floating around, looking for glove.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Later that day, poor Caroline was ‘treated’ to this monstrosity as Jack was pretending to be running a restaurant in her living room like when she played dress-up in Allegra’s professional kitchen. Rumour has it that her hands haven’t been seen since.

View attachment 569081

These legit look like a corpse’s hands, I get leaning into our flaws / keeping Insta real but could do without seeing them.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

The claim that she didn’t make roasties and NO ONE MINDED has to be the biggest Jack lie ever!

This still annoys me way more than it should

 

[Hollaaa]

I wonder if Jack is bingeing The Pursuit of Love? I bet Nancy Mitford is right up their alley, and the main character is the daughter of a baron, after all. Sample quote: "There's no such thing as poverty, just people who are bad at their jobs and idle".
Edit: there is an insufferable turquoise-haired character named Pixie.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

#FrausNotHuns

very OT but I read that first line like the guy who did the indie song of ‘what a sad little life Jane’ (and also ‘you have no authority here Jackie Weaver’)

It honestly read Shakespearean to me.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I wonder if Jack is bingeing The Pursuit of Love? I bet Nancy Mitford is right up their alley, and the main character is the daughter of a baron, after all. Sample quote: "There's no such thing as poverty, just people who are bad at their jobs and idle"

I imagine Jack reading Jeanette Winterson. Same ego, same annihilatingly boring prose.

 

[Anonymous One]

Can’t remember which person with hands thought that Jack may have inherited their hands from their dad, who also has hands. These are Jack’s dad’s hands holding a trifle.

 

[Eurgh]

That bowl is half empty! Make it reach the top or use a smaller one! Also, chocolate sprinkles on a fruit trifle? Make it make sense.

 

[Lanie]

Ok I have had a thought, If I had mushrooms, and onion perhaps maybe an egg( just one mind) I'd make a dinky omelette.
Never ever ever would I think soup.

 

[Mr Krabs]

The day she posts a photo of a burger & chips I will be shooketh. I love a good stew or a one pot dish but not for every single meal.

You're giving me flashbacks to the kidney bean, carrot and cumin burger from her first book. They were sloppy and basically tasted like cumin and not much else.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Can’t remember which person with hands thought that Jack may have inherited their hands from their dad, who also has hands. These are Jack’s dad’s hands holding a trifle.

View attachment 569271

His famous Birds Trifle, from a packet. And she had the cheek to slate all those other ones!