Jack Monroe #186 The bromelain in canned pineapple is denatured

[DorothyZbornak]

For that many likes, maybe Del Monte should get Jack to embroider a pineapple

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

"In a fugue state, I discovered I had adopted a Flamingo..."

 

[Orphan_Black]

Fear not, the Vegan Kind supermarket do a vegan one! He's called Archie.

That looks like a Jack creation!!! Put it out of it's misery!

 

[MancBee]

In the Guardian today an article about hair washing. ‘It’s like therapy’: how washing your hair can lift your mood – and change your life

‘It’s like therapy’: how washing your hair can lift your mood – and change your life

Hairwashing can be a catharsis and a reset, the purifying sluice of water rinsing a bad day down the plughole

www.theguardian.com

Wasn't Jack saying she hasn't washed hers in weeks. Maybe she should take the advice of her fellow Guardian columnists and she wouldn't have such a low mood!

If only it were that easy.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Now Line of Duty is done with I have turned my lunatic conspiracy theorising towards Jack instead and decided maybe this is all a long con and she's hoping we'll all lose interest and go away and she can go back to re-writing The Destitution in peace.

However we've counted our own teeth and chairs before and talked for far far longer than would ever be necessary about wheelie bins, there's surely no way she can out-bore us.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

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Something is deffo up if it took her 2 days to reply to Mom, though.

 

[Hollaaa]

I am deeply honoured!

That's a better acceptance speech than Jack's!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Not sure if anyone has spotted this yet, but there is writing in the embroidery she's done. I've tried to highlight.
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I looked the phrase up and apparently it's an AA/NA thing.

P.S. from a distance the work looks fine, I feel a bit horrible saying but looking closely it won't stand up to a wash and is quite untidy.

“Just for today, I will not be a total wankstain”

IF ONLY!!!!!!

 

[xoxo]

Since seeing the photo of the embroidery, I now have the phrase "JACK'S BROWN POCKET" stuck in my head.

Sorry, I hate myself too.

(As an aside, the embroidery doesn't look thaaaaat bad, but the FULLY BROWN section and roots let it down, otherwise it's quite nice. But yeah, all I see is BROWN BROWN BROWN)

 

[Raydog]

It's Friday night! I'm off for a good old chobble!

Thread nomination I know it’s early but come on

 

[FrumpyCat]

Someone needs to tell her that vague posting on Twitter won’t be accepted as a valid excuse for not submitting her accounts.

If she files them by 30 April then it’s £300 to Companies House, and £100 to HMRC with interest on the tax liability. 20 weeks of a full grocery shop, by Jack’s ridiculous definition.

Oh and there’ll be another application from CH to strike off her company if she doesn’t submit her confirmation statement pronto. It’s a two minute job for her or someone else to do

but Jack's accountant is a very busy man.

Sorry, that's Jack's lawyer.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

She doesn’t eat sugar does she?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Ain't no party like a snark club party!

 

[Lanie]

So did a girl in my school! Was this one of those universal rumours that went around every school? Was it always specifically a KitKat Chunky? Why? I suppose they are girthier than normal KitKats...

Yeah why did no one choose a Yorkie, are they really just for men?!

 

[Mel Donte]

Can we have a caterpillar cake party on the anniversary of thread 31? (I want none of those med veg tray cake bakes)

June 24th folks. Put it in your diaries

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

Also, I hate the embroidered shirt. The balance of colours is all wrong, the massive cowpat at the bottom doesn't work with the poppy

Me too but that the majority of it is brown is hardly surprising

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Aw no, I hope you don’t have a shite day

Thank you.

In the middle of a ‘cluster’ of my cluster headaches so getting no sleep. Everything seems worse on no sleep.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She needs to embroider another one that says 'Tonight Matthew, I am not going to be a shameless grifter and cosplayer'.
She can stop embroidering the truth for a change too.

 

[Blurp]

People-huv-tae-knowVIP Member
Today at 3:09 PM

I knew Tom Kitchin a little when I lived in Edinburgh 🔺️ He is a lovely guy, has time for everyone and cares about his work. He also has an honorary doctorate but in his case it's deserved and he does not go on about it.

A friend's son worked for him as a chef. He's apparently very good to his staff and also makes a big fuss of their families if they eat in one of his restaurants!

 

[The Dowager]

My mum actually *did* engage in a sex act with a Mars bar

Spoiler: Reaction to this spoiler

PS, I know I made a boo-boo but I CBA to change it