Jack Monroe #184 Jack Monroe's Big Book of Boak

[Captainmouse]

Garlic cloves have to be 'fat'. T'is the rule.

So what do you do with all the thin ones?

 

[Orphan_Black]

I think I've made my thoughts on her alcoholic #content clear, so I'd just like to rip on the slop:

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1) This is the sort of horror that people feed vegans because they hear "vegan" and think "joyless sanctimonious hippie prick". It's like a dessert from an 80s vegetarian cookbook, back when they used to replace chocolate with carob and pretend it was edible.

2) Today for lunch I had steak and rocket and watercress and carrot and radish and cucumber. Oh wait, no. I had steak and salad, because I am a normal human being who understands how the English language works.

3) Are we to take from this that she is no longer a pescatarian bodybuilder? Will the list of vegan cheeses ever see the light of day? I suppose that ODAAT does not apply to the meat addiction The Guardian once paid her to write about...

Argh, she's back to random capital letters!!!

Is the weird egg dish the fried salad stuff? How do you fry unsmashed eggs with chopsticks?

 

[Vroo]

I’ve had the same thought too. This project spans 52 weeks. What if she’s involved in the Christmas special?!

Plz not dry yellow chicken again

 

[BananaSmith]

Jesus wept can this woman still not cook an egg

FTFY

(Too short)

 

[Captainmouse]

@colouredlines I have no idea how to use a semicolon, colon, Oxford comma or normal comma.

I put them in posts sometimes when I think they are needed but really don’t have a clue. I am a ~scientist~ .

Please don’t banish me.

On topic, can anyone else see the link between pork, fried salad eggs and bean cake for Jack’s new thing? I have no idea how on earth they could be connected?

Inedible, uncooked, slop

 

[Malkiavelli]

As jehovah's witnesses you don't really celebrate anything outside of religious holidays do you? I remember reading Geri Halliwell's autobiography (I am so cultured ) when I was around 12 and being shcoked that they weren't allowed birthday presents!

Well I escaped from it as a young adult but yea you’re basically right, though even religious holidays as wider society knows them aren’t considered relevant. There’s only one main event which is observed really, and that’s the memorial of Christ’s resurrection (Easter) but at a very specific evening, calculated from the old Jewish calendar... apart from that, nothing.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Can we have mugs too? I'm going to post a mug because I'm a maverick.

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Yeah things are tough for this mug. Old ladies stop and stare at it on the streets. Old men in top hats exclaim 'egads' and drop their monocles. It's not easy being a poverty-stricken single mug covered in the most generic tattoos imagineable.

I'm hoping that's the only one of its type in your kitchen? Obviously they shouldn't be allowed to breed.

ETA. Great minds @MaineCoonMama

 

[bladiesla]

The Christmas 'feast' truly is shit. I detest the way she writes out recipes, all the things she's served it in are dirty or chipped, she hasn't a clue about basic ingredients, uses fresh bread for stuffing, and the one that made me eyes roll hardest? Yorkshire puds only taking 15 mins at 190 to cook.

Jack, you must be a troll, this has to be satire, right?!

I think the only thing I liked about her Christmas feast was a star-shaped bowl she served a sauce in .

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I’ve had the same thought too. This project spans 52 weeks. What if she’s involved in the Christmas special?!

'If you thought last Christmas was bad...'

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Linda Riley ? She must be 25 years older than Jack. Very wealthy.

so shocked

 

[Flash123]

For me it was a whole lot of fish and chips from the shop, lunchtime supernoodles and occasionally some fajitas/wraps, spag bol or shepherd's pie! Pleased to say that since I learned to cook my diet's ... almost entirely unchanged.

Menu I posted also includes shepherd’s pie and occasionally fish pie!

I don’t think we had fajitas TIL I was about 16 and that was probably the influence from my older brothers and sisters.
Sunday night salad was also a thing in the summer with home made potato salad and coleslaw

Spoiler: Spoiler LOD query

where are you watching from the beginning? I feel like I'm missing a trick so went to catch up but it was only showing the last and the current series, I've missed so many shows that the world's watched and LOD does sound like my kinda telly

Am watching on I player. It’s great. Just be prepared to avoid social media for the next couple of weeks.

 

[Peeky_Mink]

We've all got to get our kicks somehow. I wonder if I can find a YouTube clip of a French man pronouncing it /əpɑːθəʊtel/

Do let us know if you do. It's been a while since I heard a French youtuber with a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind.

 

[Vanelope]

I'm Catholic but have also attended various pagan events with my pagan SIL. I can assure anyone that the Catholic church is rooted in Paganism lol. When I went to the local Cathedral once I was transported back to Glastonbury High Street by the scent of the incense,

Jack's Mandarin and Feta salad thing actually looks yummy but the I love fruit and details cheese together....am a bit strange though.

Totally forgot about the symbolic blood drinking… yeah, goth

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I would pay good money to see Oliver Peyton, Matthew Fort and Andi Oliver judge Jack's trifle

Kate Spicer, too. The time when she was practically in tears because some lamb was simultaneously overcooked on the outside and raw underneath showed that she doesn't mince her words if something is shit.

 

[bladiesla]

I hate the praying hands emoji with a passion..Even more than the 'hands raising the roof' one.

Even without the Jack context I mean

 

[Blurp]

I am really looking forward to giving his new thing a try. My kids have recently got into him, independently of me and they're really into helping in the kitchen. Because of my health problems I rarely let them as I can't deal with the mess plus everything takes three times as long with them and it just exhausts me but this TK / MR collab sounds like it will be easy for them to understand so hopefully I can sit and supervise. I'm actually a bit excited about it, just think, if it weren't for the cabal I might never have discovered this new project!
Even more off topic, after a recent thread I had a craving for pork belly, haven't eaten it in decades. Had some today, was bleddy lush!

They might like Buddy Oliver too. On THAT MAN's YouTube.

 

[JuliaGulia]

I don't think it'll be properly cooked in middle either, too deep.

And I'd like to see her trying to get it out of there!

 

[Mogmog]

Is it a full moon tonight? Chaos normally occurs on a full moon

 

[BantzMonkey]

A bowl/inspo/quote mashup.
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I ~loathe~ the way she curls her photograph paper up like that, clearly to hide shit behind it. It just looks so incredibly shit seeing the patterned paper bend. She really does think she is a good food photographer doesn't she.

 

[Eurgh]

I’ve had the same thought too. This project spans 52 weeks. What if she’s involved in the Christmas special?!

I heard Marcus and his family have vegetable peelings every Christmas anyway so they've probably got that covered...