Jack Monroe #184 Jack Monroe's Big Book of Boak

[Orphan_Black]

The sweet and sour mandarin & bean jar is the stuff of nightmares. Looks gross and grubby. Although I spy your lost wooden spoon, Jack. You left it next to the pickled salad!

 

[DrtCrl]

The possibility of Armenian Jack is making me twitchy.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I was thinking of Jack today in the supermarket when I saw one of those giant lasagnes they sell, when she made that big fuss of making one herself, so much cooking if you are hard up it’s not economical.

personally I make something Ina Garten (Queen) called a Greek lasagne, which is just as tasty but much less effort.

 

[Lanie]

I think both you and @MancBee should wear double denim, ugly trainers and a boy hat tomorrow.

I think they should just open the wardrobe and throw caution to the wind. Who cares about style or it even matching, just go with the flow.

 

[GoLando]

Or this

I’d nail this, tbf

 

[bladiesla]

Not the person you asked but just wanted to add by not including the questionable £1+ tin of grapefruit she could have stuck to the same budget and bought a bigger packet of prawns, IIRC Jack's original recipe had 25g of prawns per person, pitiful for a Christmas day starter.

Yeah, there are plenty of recipes only that combine grapefruit and prawns, I just dont trust any JM recipe anymore . She's proven not to be able to estimate portion size, flavour combinations, basic cooking principles (i.e. how different techniques get flavours in or out of food) and seasoning. I stay away from her recipes now.

 

[Captainmouse]

Why do they have to be pickled in cooking oil and dried mixed herbs?

Knowing how she constantly reuses cooking oil being mackie it was probably fish oil originally

 

[Captainmouse]

I think lots of us have been sceptical about the alcoholic claims - mostly people that have direct experience of alcoholism personally. I do think she has probably had a bad relationship with drinking - maybe binging on quite a few occasions and acting the twat - then waking up the next day, feeling like shit and regretting her actions. There is no way she is at the point that @colouredlines describes so well. (PS - you are not one of my siblings are you? ).

Chronic alcoholism is not “I couldn’t when I was poor” or “I shouldn’t because it’s bad” as espoused in the chief Enabler of Slop, The Guardian. It is the ONLY thing a person thinks about and actions upon. Functioning alcoholics will crack on with other stuff, but only if the tanks are topped up. I don’t think she is even that type of drinker. And 200 units a week is absolutely laughable. It would literally kill a smol pixie in high heels. My dad was a Tennents Super through the day, with few glasses of sherry/whiskey to round off the evening. But he NEVER declined a drink of any type - and even he would have struggled with the 200 units a week.

Edit - really sorry I haven’t spoilered - I keep trying and I can’t seem to figure it out at all. Sorry again.

Spoiler: Alcohol

my ex father in law was half a bottle of bells a day man. He was a top lass chauffeur and drove VIPs/royalty

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Don't worry, dearheart! I'm actually not very fussy about grammar and punctuation, unless I'm preparing students for an exam (in fact, I don't even like to think about it outside work).

I get far more irritated by the mistakes people make when they're trying to sound intelligent/sophisticated - misusing whom, and I instead of and me, reflexive pronouns everywhere ("please contact myself"). Jack's use of vocabulary definitely falls into this category, and I might as well get some digs in at her punctuation while I'm here!

Oh god I was re-watching some earlier LoD the other day and ended up correcting someone with 'Whom' at the exact same time as Carmichael did. The I and me thing bugs me too, I swear every time I see my mother in law we have the same conversation about how to tell which one you use when she inevitably incorrectly corrects someone and she's a damn English teacher.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I ~loathe~ the way she curls her photograph paper up like that, clearly to hide shit behind it. It just looks so incredibly shit seeing the patterned paper bend. She really does think she is a good food photographer doesn't she.

It's to give depth of field and a seamless look but yep she fails. Makes me cringe too.

 

[kachoochoo]

Fixed and thank you for pointing that out. Sorry @kachoochoo, I will compensate you with a free copy of the Big Book of Boak.

you're all right, ta! thanks for recap and poll and thank you and @Emmapism for the credit!

I voted meatball, but wherever she is, she stocked the fridge herself for #content

 

[Saint_clemmie]

The bowls are genius! what a treat to come home to after work.

I don't think i’ve ever seen a photo of Jack and not experienced dangerous levels of cringe.

 

[Billybellend]

my thread title nomination is 'freakeye' said by @Shawads and noted by @MaineCoonMama

Damnit Waffle...next thread, I’m going to quote absolutely everyone’s posts in the hope of popping my thread title cherry
Then, I’ll tell you all to fuck off and have a strop before having a huge existential crisis and drowning myself in a bowl of slop

 

[gashlycrumbtiny]

I mean I went to Catholic school and we celebrated Halloween, and we also had mass every. damn. weekend.

I'm not even Catholic.

I’ve found that the anti-Halloween thing is more of an Evangelical or Baptist thing (my parents were Baptist at the time). Catholic’s seem to have things much more in perspective.

 

[SpamNugget]

So someone looking at that Mel Donte recipe thinking mmmm that's looks nice ( I know but stick with me here ) then looks at said recipe and has to wait 4 DAYS to sort out the pickled beans ....I mean WTAF ...

Looking at it ,it's not the worst ,it's not 100% Braaahn but surely the easiest thing to do is get a handful of leaves ,some feta,walnuts and yeah I'd throw some mandarins on if I had a few left and...sorted ...too right serves 0 because you would have died of starvation first .

 

[ThriftStoreLeCreuset]

So what do you do with all the thin ones?

I use them for pan con tomate or avocado toast but that's a serious response to a flippant question. As you were.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

' and the one that made me eyes roll hardest? Yorkshire puds only taking 15 mins at 190 to cook.'

I suppose they could do. If you're getting them out of a packet.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

The other day, when I was looking for a gross sounding Jack recipe (and settled upon kidney bean and pineapple curry) I found this recipe, which does indeed suggest that plain tinned tomatoes is an acceptable sauce. No seasoning, herbs, garlic or onion. Just tinned tomatoes stirred through. Yummy!

View attachment 545787

That looks like something the make-up department at Holby City created

 

[emm]

Jack's interest in politics has never left the sixth form. She can shout slogans, but she had no real understanding of politics, this becomes apparent every time politics Jack starts shouting their mouth off.

There was the BLM and that pathetic video, the time she accused some one of being anti-Semitic (sic) for saying shekel because it was what Israelis call their money, the use of borderline antisemitic expression to describe to lockdown, her attack on the school video etc.

Add to that Jack referring to images of child abuse as child pornography just shows how far out of touch they are with what is and isn't acceptable.

Jack is far too lazy to educate herself beyond headlines, Jack seems to have an obsession about not being ordinary, Jack won't accept that her intelligence, her looks, her talents, even her height are ordinary. Jack always want to be the prettiest, cleverist, most talented, illest, most traumatised smol pixie in the room

the thing is she just doesn't stick with anything long enough ot really know enough. It is the same with her cooking, she has done nothing to further her ability in the last decade

 

[JuliaGulia]

Sane here, though I have got an ugly Boy London watch from back in the day. Should I use that?

Yes, absolutely x