Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[OhhBacon]

If I want some good food on a bad day, I’d just eat the bloody ice cream straight from the tub. Nothing would convince me to turn it into a cake!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

The fridge looks too clean to be hers.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

... I've just heard back from the...ahem.. art materials company which delivered a pair of elderly undercrackers along with my stuff

They were so apologetic and are investigating. I didn't mention the incident on my social media...

Maybe I should have been a bit more...."Jackish", and held them to ransom with the threat of doing a sadface newspaper interview holding the pants with comedy tongs whilst holding my nose.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I have nothing useful to say. Im just thinking how annoyed she is just now....

 

[Emmapism]

Honestly. You don’t even wanna know how much of everything I guzzled like a goblin, the last time we stayed at a place with ‘afternoon snacks’ included in the room rate. Think of eating anchoiade in bed, then hoofing a loaf of white bread.... but with teeny tiny sandwiches and random things like marshmallows and dried apricots, in a fancy lounge full of businessmen who probably didn’t pay, so don’t care.

Me: “I should probably eat a handful of Brazil nuts, followed by some tasteless crackers, get our money’s worth!”. My husband pretty much carried on like he didn’t know me

I have a posh friend (just one, you meet them in TV) whose sister has a membership at Shoreditch house. She got us in one summer a couple of years ago and we REAMED the freebies. They have free pick and mix plus sodas and stuff. I shoved loads into my bag they also have a photo booth that's free and we were in there for far too long being silly.

God I love amenities. Give me all of the freebies!

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Lolz

ETA. Gang, I've just noticed the other books surrounding it include;
Ask a Footballer.
Common People.
Reasons to Be Cheerful.
Taking up Space.
I Will Not Be Erased.

Absofuckinglutely brill(iant)

 

[kachoochoo]

Spoiler: hospitals and hotels

hotel stays when you're coming in for surgery from far away are a thing. 🔺️ I work in an ophthalmology department that is a centre for ocular oncology and we have patients coming in from far afield. if it's not appropriate to put them in hospital accommodation the night before surgery, we put them in a hotel. it was previously the local jury's inn, but now it's the b+b round the corner. so, yeah, no mini bars.

but she has completely filled that fridge all by herself. absolutely bizarre behaviour

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

We went on a cruise for our honeymoon with an American company and they had onboard meetings under the title “Friends of Bill” and for NA it was “Friends of Jimmy”. If you knew you knew if you didn’t it was inconspicuous

A friend of Bill friend of mine, a typical oul Irishman, went looking for a meeting on a holiday in New York. On the list there was a "Rainbow" meeting, and he thought "ah shur aren't the Yanks very colourful, that one sounds like good craic." He said he really enjoyed it too!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Do you think it's deliberate to have the pink and yellow cans turned away? What brand are they?

 

[waffle maker]

MIA: rabbit, cat, child, bungalow, tweet about MR and TK....

 

[Zelda]

Jack might get a recipe mentioned by Marcus and Tom.

One of the team might have contacted her “behind the scenes” to discuss this.

Still doesn’t make up for not posting a quick, congratulatory retweet.

Seems like a massive sulk to me.

 

[Silver Linings]

I honestly don't think she is at home. I think us speculating she is makes us look bonkers, to be honest. Sorry guys.

I agree. We know every corner of the bungalow, thanks to Jack. She hasn’t been home for weeks.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I'm on the cusp of declaring myself a #fridgetruther but part of me hopes she's actually taken her bag of parsley away for a long weekend as a treat. I'm imagining such scenarios as her draping a complimentary bathrobe around it, propping it up on the pillow next to her as she lies tweeting furiously in bed, and asking it "Shall we order room service?"

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’ve had to rush through today’s episode because I’M BUSY. So some quick thoughts

- double denim for the pair of them today. Jack has stolen hers from Dolly Parton though.
- tinned fish suggestions. Bung it in a curry.
- use any spices, any old spice will do.
- why does she want to put breadcrumbs on everything, is that the only way she adds texture? Does she think that’s fancy cooking?
- talks about greedy fatty foods and gobbling them up. Literally never seen her make them at home, ever.
- makes something brown.
- fat in mince discussion. They add it. Honestly...

I’m off out, no drama whilst I’m gone OKAY?

 

[emm]

View attachment 544165

I know we have a bad culture of alcohol in the UK, but actually among young people now sobriety seems to be the norm, statistics about Gen Z are that they are way more sober than previous generations. Not to mention all the people that don't drink for religious reasons. side note - does it annoy anyone else that she has used american spelling?!

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I don't care where she is or what she's up to but I'm still hooting and fizzing over the revelation that the main ingredient of her tomato soup is someone else's tomato soup!

'How to Make Food Using Food That is the Same Food as the Food You are Trying to Make' by Jack Monroe coming soon to a bargain bin near you

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Yes. It seems utterly inappropriate (if true).
And we all know how careful she is with personal and vulnerable information Plus outing people with a drink problem.
It actually beggars belief she thinks this is a good idea rather than her 'friend' using Google and the networks built up from the therapy groups she attends.

Her desperate need for attention and validation overrides any basic common sense.

 

[Mr Krabs]

This is the pic of it on her site, and I think we can all agree that her talent for food photography is unsurpassed #nomnom #appetising

View attachment 542858

Dry. So dry.

Like so many of Jack's recipes, this is such a waste of ingredients and time. You have to wait an hour for the ice cream to defrost, in which time, you could have baked most cakes from scratch and already be eating them. The only situation where this might be useful is if you're desperate for cake and the shops are shut, but then, you could just eat the ice cream and not be left with a dry mouth.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

She really has such a massively over inflated ego - all these little hints about unspecified "treatment", secret locations, false names, stalkers. Jack really thinks she's in the top echelons of celebrity. I genuinely believe all this "little old me" stuff is the biggest bag o shite about her whole persona.

 

[colouredlines]

We've all but got confirmation that this infamous Treatment is something drink-related, then. She's tweeted more about alcoholism in the last two weeks than in all of last year.