Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[MaineCoonMama]

Thank you universe for letting my teen angst blossom, ferment and die
In the 80s it rained words
from my Kilometrico pen
only to die unlaughed at


immolation

fire station

burn, motherfucker

burn

 

[MancBee]

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Isn't "vibe" one of my words? I seem to remember using it fairly frequently here over the past week or so. @Orphan_Black I really do get why you were spooked yesterday, but don't be, she hasn't an original thought in her head. She is like a plant absorbing nutrients by osmosis, she absorbs her words, expressions, her persona from here (and other places I am sure).

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Emmapism]

Guess where I'm staying Tattle! Is my least favourite Jack because I don't care.

Hopefully will come back later on to some chaos or other

 

[Veronicaaa]

Why does she need to book under an assumed name anyway? She never kept her actual home address a secret or her location and activity most days.

TBF she's on the mean streets of Manchester now, not in her usual quiet, expensive OAP enclave. She's probably looked out her stab vest and that knife she used to claim she carried around with her at all times.

 

[Jelly Bean]

In the list of Jack naysayers does that teacher count? I know he sort of capitulated - but he stood his ground well. I still think more went on there than we know.

 

[SpamNugget]

Tbh I would have thought if they were undergoing treatment for anything it would be Social Media addiction ,spending eleventy million hours a day tweeting every minutiae of her life ,I mean the world doesn't need to know you have the raging shits for example ,now you could argue all day long whether there is any grain of truth to all the crumb dropping they have been doing over the last few days .

But if they are trying to sort out any major issues whether it be an addiction to whatever or just some major dental treatment hopefully it all goes well and she comes out the other side better than they went in .

She totally fucked up imo not giving the Full Time Meals thing a whether her squiggle defenders or ()take your pick your honour ,think she invented cheap cooking ,a lot of brands etc will jump on this train Sainos,Asda,Waitrose and Ocado are already behind it and more will undoubtedly follow along with those famous faces who will lend a hand .

Anyway BUSY so I'm gonna fuck right off .

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Everyone quote tweeting her big-upping the hotel involved which of course couldn't be named because 'stalkers'. Awful convenient that. Are we sure it's not her own Smeg. How do people not catch on to this shit

 

[Mr Krabs]

also!

1. a lot of hotel rooms have empty fridges for your own use.

2. if you'd asked for it to be emptied, why would you open it? oh, right, parsley. why are you taking parsley to a hotel?

Either taking a parsley bath or some weird shit, or she's bought her slow cooker along and will be making kombacha chicken or some fucking insane thing and cooking it in the room overnight.

 

[Harrybosch]

I’ve subscribed months ago. Ive not sent any payments through, mind.

@HotesTilaire Mother of God, please change your avatar. It's terrifying.

 

[Silver Linings]

This person HATES her.

Horrific. Nobody deserves that.

 

[PoorPatrol]

And eating Leon food with hellmans..

And tagged Marriott

 

[Cookiecookie]

Wonder what the print run was. There's just so many to give away!

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I think more have been given away than bought at this point.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

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Look at the non-alcoholic options available.

It is becoming normalised.

But you think being gay isn’t normal either do you? Or having tattoos?

I don’t give a toss where you are. We aren’t stalkers, we just want you to be honest for once.

(Marcus is looking stern as ever on MC professionals btw)

 

[waffle maker]

This means the people in the #treatment right? I can’t think of any treatment where I would laugh if someone rocked up in bad trousers. I would feel either embarrassed for them or (more likely) be mean about the trousers behind the scenes.

 

[Mr Krabs]

.... which takes you to a facebook video of a lady doing two of the recipes from it. The first one is a tomato soup one, and the ingredients are tinned tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, and .... a tin of tomato soup. So she's written a recipe for tomato soup whose main ingredient is tinned tomato soup. The second recipe is for ice cream cake. You mix melted ice cream with flour and baking power and then stick it in the oven. I'd be almost tempted to try this (just to see how bad it is) except for the fact that it seems like a huge waste of a tub of ice cream.

A while ago, there was a viral video going round claiming you could make frosting using melted ice cream and icing sugar. The method was debunked because there's not a high enough fat content in ice cream to whip it up. I mean, it'd probably work in a cake, but why would you do that when you could just use cheaper butter and a bit of cocoa powder or other flavouring?

(The debunking video was on Ann Reardon's YouTube channel -- she's an awesome food scientist who does videos where she tries those stupid food/life hacks and I've learned a lot of weird random facts from her vids!)

I looked up the recipe: https://app.ckbk.com/recipe/good28188c09s001r003/ice-cream-cake It makes me laugh that she was inspired to make it while halfway through a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Once more for the cheap seats: I CAN'T AFFORD BUTTER!!!!!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Reddit...


View attachment 544232

So these new followers are reddit straight-edgers? Boy oh boy are they in for a surprise.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Like she deleted the old attention seeking post that "was to show SB something"

Could the "friend" not contact AA herself? I'm sure they could signpost them to a suitable group or person

Exactly what I was thinking. She is potentially outing someone here.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

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This seems like a really bad idea, seriously. I hope it works out well but, yikes.
ETA. everyone’s already explained it much more clearly.

 

[Harrybosch]

But you have to use a credit card to confirm a booking. Unless she used her Go Henry card. Or she is booked in under Louisa's name.


Nah, she's at home.

You keep telling yourself that if it makes you sleep easier. We all know where she really is. #nooneissafe

Like @MancBee said, where's the coke and the pepsi? It's strange they wouldnt have at least one can of each, yet lots of kombacha. I have never had it and I rarely see it in my local stores. It's an odd choice for a hotel to put into their fridge.

Also does her poor northern Irish pixie know the Mournes are ablaze? Wonder if she will tweet that,

All I'd want is a San Pellegrino limonata or an orangina in a bottle. Is that too much to ask for?