Jack Monroe #18 From giving THAT MAN hell to a Hellman's collab, “Baby Nigella’s” food is still making us gag.

[Tabitha D]

Above the egg, is that another egg all broken up?

Presentation is not her forte

Plus what are the blobs of grainy dark brown matter scattered about on top? Looks like it could be tapanade but that’s a bit too fancy for Jack surely.
Anyway, that unholy mess is only very distantly related to a Niçoise.

Jack certainly has some culinary skills - didn’t realise it was possible to overcook the yolk whilst simultaneously maintaining a snotty white when poaching an egg.
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Tinned salmon only looks like that when it’s cat food.

 

[Nosy_af]

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I don't even think that's right! I mean, the protein content is higher than plain flour so it might be dense.

 

[Harrybosch]

Jack certainly has some culinary skills - didn’t realise it was possible to overcook the yolk whilst simultaneously maintaining a snotty white when poaching an egg.
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Great to see yet another vegan recipe!

I wonder if Jack's new book will include ANY vegan recipes.

She said yesterday that most recipes were either vegan or could be made vegan easily. I mean, sure, I could just leave the egg and salmon off and eat lettuce with tomatoes.

 

[Tabitha D]

I think she’d be better setting up her stove etc. outdoors instead of in that manky shed - not just for safety reasons, but the light will be better and it’s meant to be hot and sunny tomorrow. (James Martin did outdoor cooking on This Morning from his garden - and even included a vegan dish.)

 

[Saturn.]

@Saturn. You’re a right cheeky one!View attachment 137831

 

[Hunty]

Jack certainly has some culinary skills - didn’t realise it was possible to overcook the yolk whilst simultaneously maintaining a snotty white when poaching an egg.
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That looks positively revolting

 

[Tabitha D]

I don't even think that's right! I mean, the protein content is higher than plain flour so it might be dense.

She has zero food knowledge and ALWAYS says “yes absolutely” rather than thinking about it and giving a reason why the poster’s suggestion wouldn’t work.
I’ve noticed that Nigella, for example, does this when she posts her daily recipes. Someone will come on and say “can I make this with x instead”, and Nigella will say “no, because x - but try this instead” and then she’ll post an alternative recipe which better suits what the poster is looking for. (The reason will usually be something related to texture, or clashing flavour combinations, or because the substitution simply wouldn’t work.)

 

[Bellybutton lint]

She’s such a good advertiser of her own recipes, isn’t she? She makes them look so delicious, so well presented, so beautiful. Something you’d like to eat yourself, really.
Are those ... raisins chucked on top?

If it looks like puke, it will taste like puke.

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NO you bloody well cannot use strong bread flour. Oh god I despair at times.

I need a double gin and a fag. That food makes me want to yak up my spleen.

 

[Tabitha D]

If it looks like puke, it will taste like puke.


NO you bloody well cannot use strong bread flour. Oh god I despair at times.

I need a double gin and a fag. That food makes me want to yak up my spleen.

In fact it rather looks like Jack yakked up her spleen on that Niçoise.

 

[chocolate choux]

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I’m waiting for the day when we get a ‘no, absolutely not x’

 

[Bellybutton lint]

In fact it rather looks like Jack yakked up her spleen on that Niçoise.

bleeping foul and a complete insult to a Nicoise. I cannot believe people will buy a book that contains this kind of tit in it. Suckers really are parted with their moola.

 

[HarderFaster]

If you use strong bread flour in pancakes they'll end up like house bricks. For someone who supposedly saves her readers money she's certainly happy for them to waste ingredients making inedible recipes through unsuitable amendments. Loathsome.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

If you use strong bread flour in pancakes they'll end up like house bricks. For someone who supposedly saves her readers money she's certainly happy for them to waste ingredients making inedible recipes through unsuitable amendments. Loathsome.

Especially when flour is at a premium. Stupid bint saying yes you can substitute bread flour.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

She has zero food knowledge and ALWAYS says “yes absolutely” rather than thinking about it and giving a reason why the poster’s suggestion wouldn’t work.
I’ve noticed that Nigella, for example, does this when she posts her daily recipes. Someone will come on and say “can I make this with x instead”, and Nigella will say “no, because x - but try this instead” and then she’ll post an alternative recipe which better suits what the poster is looking for. (The reason will usually be something related to texture, or clashing flavour combinations.)

Nigella also says 'I really don't know, I've never tried' sometimes which I have a lot of time for.

 

[chocolate choux]

If you use strong bread flour in pancakes they'll end up like house bricks. For someone who supposedly saves her readers money she's certainly happy for them to waste ingredients making inedible recipes through unsuitable amendments. Loathsome.

Do her fans ever confront her when her advice doesn’t work?

 

[NP]

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duck sake. Whoever you are, please send me your cake made from strong bread flour when you’re done. Could do with a new doorstop.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Ah yes - the end of May, season of swedes

 

[Mycuppatea]

This tweet sums up the attitude of probably 99% of her fawning followers on Twitter.
They wouldn't *dream* of cooking the poverty porn slop she thinks up in her weird little brain, but the *deserving poor* will be so so grateful.
Shockingly patronising and insulting.

This is what fascinates me. Has Nigella got Chicken Porridge or Equine Donation Lasagne in regular rotation on her menu plan? When Jack was with Allegra, how often did they all tuck into salad bag pesto on rinsed spaghetti hoops? I can't imagine a person who is really serious about food eating Jack's "product".

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Do her fans ever confront her when her advice doesn’t work?

I'm sure somebody did a few threads ago but it ended up being their fault in some way.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

I am so tempted to get a twitter account but would probably be blocked immediately. Bread flour in pancakes?????

Says the planets biggest hypocrite

And tagging THAT MAN in.

Brown noser