Jack Monroe #173 I take one day off and now she’s Polish?!

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @bowiethesdmn for the words and @Falkor the luck dragon for the thread title! Your prize: a jar of pickles from Jack’s Polish supermarket haul and a slice of peach drizzle (you’ll need something to wash it down with).

Recap of last thread

1. ‘Cor people are really judgy about the no-shampoo thing aren’t they?!’
2. She wanged on about her no-poo hair, scritching, ‘ooh ooh hot’ flannels and dirty body puffs for a literal night.
3. After Hair Care Jack, we had Polish Jack. Znakomity!
4. She made her new Polish herbal tea in a cafetiere cos #maverick
5. We finally saw an Emin (well, a corner of it). Is it THE Emin?
6. She shrieked with delight at a badge.
7. Life’s a peach ... drizzle. The Man from Del Monte say: ‘Moist’.
8. Brunch, brunch baby.
9. Spoiler: Housekeeping

   [*]
   Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
   
   There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
   
   New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
   
   
   
   [*]

 

[Lanie]

Thanks poca.

I think she's moved to her forever home and she's currently unpacking setting up. Hence the piss and the sandwich tweets. Only time will tell.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I think she's at Louisa's.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

One egg looks rubbery and overcooked and the other looks soft boiled. I wasn't game to look closely at whatever the rest of it is.

ETA It gets worse the longer you look at it.
I can't stop though.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I think she's at Louisa's.

What a fool, she could have had a lovely long weekend brunching via Deliveroo and pizzas for dinner. Instead, she’s back on the slop

 

[kachoochoo]

why does everything always have to go in one pan, so it all goes brown? it's so sad

I mean, you could put the mushrooms (fancy mushrooms at that) on a nice piece of toast, with a poached or boiled egg for asparagus dipping.

but she SHAN'T

I also think she's at the brexit tin thief's place

 

[colouredlines]

My favourite part is the dirty hob. I could understand the splash of milk if she were making scrambled eggs, but she's not. We can only conclude that either she adds milk to fried eggs or she doesn't clean. Or both, because #maverick

 

[Lanie]

Is Louisa ok? She did mention someone was unwell, hence why she was "off" twitter.

Has she written anything to suggest she's unwell?

 

[Aquamarina]

Why are the mushrooms and asparagus just tossed on top of the eggs? Why does it not look like it’s cooked properly? Why does Jack consistently make such disgusting food? Make it make sense etc etc.
Oh yeah, she’s definitely at Brexit Tin Thief Louisa’s I reckon. But at least she hasn’t subjected her (and us) to her Easter anchoiade eggs yet.

 

[emm]

One egg looks rubbery and overcooked and the other looks soft boiled. I wasn't game to look closely at whatever the rest of it is.

ETA It gets worse the longer you look at it.
I can't stop though.

it's like looking at a car crash, you just can't look away!

 

[Lanie]

Anyone that eats that is brave in my book. It looks foul and like it would feel like chewing on rubber

 

[Skyfall]

Is Louisa ok? She did mention someone was unwell, hence why she was "off" twitter.

Has she written anything to suggest she's unwell?

That’s what happens when you eat too much brown food.... or you’ve moved your sometime Ex in and they’ve trashed your kitchen?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

@emm At first I was trying to work out what was what then I got stuck for about 30 seconds just looking at it.

The plate doesn't help, it's fugly.

 

[Falkor]

Ooh, I think this may be my first involvement in a Jack thread title, thank you!

I am actually making a lemon drizzle cake at the moment and crossing my fingers it turns out okay because I've had one of those mornings where everybody wanted to stop and chat as we were all on our livestock rounds in the village, then I had to do a 15-mile round trip to the nearest shop for lemons and eggs, and then realised when I got back that there's a Tesco delivery coming between 2 and 4 and I have to take this cake 17 miles to the small harbour where my husband and my business partner are currently stripping a roof on a cottage we're renovating together. I threw it together so fast that I managed to get cake batter all over the walls when I lifted the electric hand mixer out before it had stopped properly! The bowl scrapings tasted okay, so fingers crossed...

 

[emm]

@emm At first I was trying to work out what was what then I got stuck for about 30 seconds just looking at it.

The plate doesn't help, it's fugly.

not only is her cooking awful, but she is also awful at staging photos, which considering how much time she spends on social media you would think she could improve

 

[Limey]

Superb thread title, Polish Jack was one of my favourite incarnations. Waiting for the summer when UK travel is possible again, and we get Manc/Scouse/Brummie Jack.

 

[JuliaGulia]

why does everything always have to go in one pan, so it all goes brown? it's so sad

I mean, you could put the mushrooms (fancy mushrooms at that) on a nice piece of toast, with a poached or boiled egg for asparagus dipping.

but she SHAN'T

I also think she's at the brexit tin thief's place

I really, REALLY hope that LJC hasn't caved to the constant moaning about the rent and how she LEFT and let the smol pixie move in.
It would explain the 'Happy Place' bollocks. Will be most happy if I'm proved wrong!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Is Louisa ok? She did mention someone was unwell, hence why she was "off" twitter.

Has she written anything to suggest she's unwell?

Even if she wasn’t, she will be now.

 

[Limey]

Even if she wasn’t, she will be now.

Botulism?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

LJC has been tweeting as normal, so I hope that’s a good sign that everything is okay with her.

I think Jack is there too, either that or they’ve somehow wangled an AirBnB because Jack has a job somewhere.