Jack Monroe #173 I take one day off and now she’s Polish?!

[kachoochoo]

no idea where this is gonna land cos I've not fully grunked but am going to bed now

she said she missed her candyfloss mop or whatever just after I'd said my hair was pastel pink, so out of spite, I've increased my pink and it looks kinda great doesn't it?

 

[Silver Linings]

Ding ding. This one won’t last long.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The whole reason AA has lasted so long & worked so well is because people haven’t formed splinter cells based on perceived prestige, success, money (as per the traditions, look em up hun x). The fact JM is now suggesting they do so publicly shows what an utter farce “recovery Jackie” is.

Last comment cos I’ve gone on a rampage sorry guys xx

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

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Jamie Lee fucking Curtis! Jada Smith. Yeah they would LOVE to be in a WhatsApp group with a woman who makes brown things in Southend.

I LOVE JLC so fuck off tagging her.

 

[colouredlines]

Imagine Bullied Celebs Anonymous. Raheem Stirling is talking about racist abuse. Tom Hanks says there are conspiracy theorists making 3-hour Youtube videos saying that he is running a child trafficking ring. Benedict Cumberbatch talks about all the absolute maniacs who have accused his wife of entrapping him, faking pregnancies, and all kinds of mad shit.

Jack Monroe: "THEY SAID MY FOOD LOOKS LIKE SLOP."

 

[Pocahontas]

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It looks like it’s come out of Wallace and Gromit’s Knit-o-Matic.

 

[Falkor]

That'll do Writing a note for the Tesco driver, just in case, while that sinks in and then we're off!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Do my eyes deceive me? Did she actually write 'thank you' properly?! Praise beans!

Now that we've established Slopbot can fit in my coat and thanks to the technological advances allowing 60x magnification, we can now see the size of violin that I play for Jack when she starts sadfishing.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I’m not in recovery so forgive me if I’m totally ignorant, but isn’t the entire point of AA/NA the fact that it incorporates people from all walks of life to show that the problem, and also the solution, is pretty much universal?

I don’t see how that can work when it’s a homogeneous group of media wanker types in some kind of narcissistic circle jerk.

One of the first lines when you attend a meeting is “listen for the similarities not the differences”. She’s so sick in the head I don’t even want to go into details, no one has a sponsor with 1:1 life experience as no one has mates like that either? It just doesn’t exist


This is ego, she doesn’t want to attend a meeting and speak to the common folk about their dickhead neighbour or parking tickets, oh NO Jackie must hear about how hard it is being the only sober pixie in the Groucho or not getting DKL renewed. What a load of bollocks!!

Also self indulgent time but she’s missing out. I love randomly seeing my AA frandz out and about, it used to mortify me when an old bloke would say hello if I was with “real world” friends, but they’re the people that get you well and will always be up for a chat. Small minded shit tbh!

 

[colouredlines]

This is proof of an internet rule: any time a crafter makes anything and posts it online, someone will comment suggesting that they try to monetise their hobby.

Even if it's an uneven, badly knitted unfinished blanket the colour of despair.

 

[Clapster1]

I don't know if anyone has seen this but it looks like MR has decided to get a Michelin star chef on board to help.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

I’m not in recovery so forgive me if I’m totally ignorant, but isn’t the entire point of AA/NA the fact that it incorporates people from all walks of life to show that the problem, and also the solution, is pretty much universal?

I don’t see how that can work when it’s a homogeneous group of media wanker types in some kind of narcissistic circle jerk.

 

[Veronicaaa]

You know what really pisses me off about all this? She's basically accusing us of driving her to drink. Such horrible, manipulative behaviour. Dragging others into it, too.

 

[colouredlines]

21 likes on the peach drizzle cake on Del Monte's Insta. 2 comments:

 

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @bowiethesdmn for the words and @Falkor the luck dragon for the thread title! Your prize: a jar of pickles from Jack’s Polish supermarket haul and a slice of peach drizzle (you’ll need something to wash it down with).

Recap of last thread

1. ‘Cor people are really judgy about the no-shampoo thing aren’t they?!’
2. She wanged on about her no-poo hair, scritching, ‘ooh ooh hot’ flannels and dirty body puffs for a literal night.
3. After Hair Care Jack, we had Polish Jack. Znakomity!
4. She made her new Polish herbal tea in a cafetiere cos #maverick
5. We finally saw an Emin (well, a corner of it). Is it THE Emin?
6. She shrieked with delight at a badge.
7. Life’s a peach ... drizzle. The Man from Del Monte say: ‘Moist’.
8. Brunch, brunch baby.
9. Spoiler: Housekeeping

   [*]
   Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
   
   There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
   
   New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
   
   
   
   [*]

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Oh joy, here comes Neurodivergent Jack, my supreme nemesis. I mean obviously I can't answer this as I'm not neurotypical but I'm pretty sure everyone hears the fridge and the central heating, no? As if she can hear a bleeding thing over her six radios all simultaneously playing different stations or the television showing programmes that are at minimum ten years old, don't give me this 'lol lightbulbs r loud' nonsense that you just picked up off fakingautism4morons.com.

Love from someone with diagnosed hyperacusis I'll send you some notes if you like babes, make it more believable.

ETA the beautiful woman modelling the pyjamas on the M&S site will have been professionally shopped and she's still been less edited than Jack.

 

[FlashBoof]

Recovering Alcoholic Jack really pisses me off so I am going to try to ignore it. It’s as fake as her working class background, consultant extraordinaire, and professional experience in real kitchens.

I have a soft spot for Tom Kerridge - I find him very engaging and enthusiastic. I also admire his journey with his weight loss and his admission of relying too much on the beer himself. I didn’t know he had a relatively poor background but I am not surprised. Proper cheffing is one of the few careers a hardworking person with little academic leaning can really excel at. It makes more sense now, his partnering with Marcus. it’s no surprise really, that Jack hasn’t, and never will be part of that team, with her being a middle class, lazy, appropriating grifter.

PS. I also have a face. And, Jack....I was a fan. I put my money in your pocket. If I could ask for it back, I would. It’s on you, entirely, that I are here. I am not a troll. Or a bully. I see you ripping folk off and it boils my piss enough to be here and rant!
Cancel your Patreon and see the numbers here drop, if you’re that bothered.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[lilamay]

21 likes on the peach drizzle cake on Del Monte's Insta. 2 comments:

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