Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

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Our authority has upgraded all their blocks with a 'concierge' - FANCY! The blocks in my nearest town have all been reclad (planned pre-Grenfell) and had their balconies turned into glazed 'sunrooms' (plus the district heating from the coup) - double FANCY! The ones in another town are all on the seafront with stupendous views - triple FANCY!
 
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I’m Taurus. I just had to ask my kids what star sign they are.

I only have one request for a forever home and that’s an en suite bathroom- it’s my dream for retirement after we leave the desert. If money was no object I would love to live in The Barbican- I looked it up once, not gonna happen!
 
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I caught a glimpse of what was going on in the mirrors around the lights they use when doing the C/S. it was horrible. Also horrible was the sensation of someone doing the washing up in my guts. Still, at least I avoided having labour/ripped flangina.
 
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Better than other girls cos I’m such a bad ass Jack is all the more hilarious when you see her being sickly sweet to Kirsty on Twitter cos she’s scared of her. You’re scared of words on the internet hun somehow I don’t think you’re ripping radiators off walls (unless they’re in daddy’s slum houses so coming off the walls anyway?) or brawling but go off.

Competitive birthing might be a fab cool girl PR exercise for some but it only spreads birthing anxiety for other women and it’s not fair. That ballet pic is lol tho so thanks x
 
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I take it you are having a good day?

ETA I love posts like this. They sum up everything we all feel at one point or another.
Hah! I'm having a lovely day but I do love to swear. My Dad always tells me that's how he knows I am his child and that he raised me right

I was just outraged as I didn't really know how bad it all was! Shocked lads. Shocked.
 
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Currently 38 weeks pregnant and can confirm I have not seen my downstairs for some 3 months. Suspect it now is home to brambly mice.

You’re welcome.
 
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She...goes to the groucho club for black pasta whenever she gets her heart broken? What is this nonsense?!

Also, just noticed I am now VIP almost a year of shitposting has finally paid off and I’ve made something of myself! Off to call my mum and let her know the good news!
 
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They just give her the saucepan so she can scoff it all with her hands.
 
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Pity the poor midwife who had to secure Jack's unruly labia. I keep thinking of an unzipped tent, flapping in the wind.
 
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I’m sure someone else knows how to find the tweet where she said this, but according to her she didn’t make a sound plus she watched her own c-section.
Sooo, if she had a c section then all the stuff about making cakes is untrue and her son won’t get one!
 
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