Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

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Me 3. Sagittariun married to a Capricorn. I'm a very reserved Sagittarius so we take ages to make a decision as a couple and then I just shout duck it and my spontaneity kicks in.
I used to be engaged to a Capricorn and we did irritate the hell out of each other. It’s probably why I’m married to an Aries
 
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I caught a glimpse of what was going on in the mirrors around the lights they use when doing the C/S. it was horrible. Also horrible was the sensation of someone doing the washing up in my guts. Still, at least I avoided having labour/ripped flangina.
Mine was torn and cut. Its not really a funny retort to say at least you avoided it. 😔
 
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I know I’m super late with the commentary on this but it’s so baaaad. Did she down 6 vodka shots in the time she was offline?!
 
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happy first lockdown anniversary, frauen und herren – I hope everyone is celebrating with some brown slop today. But first let me gaze into my crystal ball…

The year is 2041, we’ve all moved on and people are asking ‘What did you do in the lockdown?’ More than a few of us will just say, ‘oh nothing much, don’t know where the time went..’ but we’ll all smile to ourselves and think back to that corner of the internet which was part M15, part comedy club and part support group. God, that was a year well spent!
👌🏻


In 2041 some of us will wonder just what Jack is up to nowadays, and might click on her Twitter for old times sake. She’ll still be there but what do you think she’ll be doing in 20 years?


I think she’s gonna end up like old man Steptoe with a house full of tut, eating pickled onions sitting in the sink cos she’s *still* so maverick. Poor SB is the son who desperately wants to get away and better himself but is prevented from doing so by old Jack being pass-agg – ‘You can’t move out now son, I’ve just done another chaos…’ or maybe ‘Oh it’s alright SB, you go on holiday and leave me here alone, I’ll be fine.. <sob>’
 
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I’m Taurus. I just had to ask my kids what star sign they are.

I only have one request for a forever home and that’s an en suite bathroom- it’s my dream for retirement after we leave the desert. If money was no object I would love to live in The Barbican- I looked it up once, not gonna happen!
It’s a great short cut across the square mile
 
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She...goes to the groucho club for black pasta whenever she gets her heart broken? What is this nonsense?!

Also, just noticed I am now VIP 🌟 almost a year of shitposting has finally paid off and I’ve made something of myself! Off to call my mum and let her know the good news!
I wasn't sure where the black pasta chat came from so I tried to check her insta in case it was on her stories and it's private?
 
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Blimey, she's really going for it today as it's a bills day. Up there with the Mumsnet threads of, "I'm down to my last £2 and the twins need new shoes."
It may actually turn out to be for the best for Jack that she ditched her (crappy as it still was of Jack to do) if this carries on.
 
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Ok, finished the video. Thank(space)you for posting it Marmalade!
Cringefest. Her publicist did well to hold it together. Also no shade on anyone doing tipsy video calls that’s literally been most of my Saturday nights for the last year, but I don’t claim to have quit drinking 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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I’m so uncomfortable, she’s crying and talking about learning to cook from Italian people and she’s deffo had a drink (in my opinion)

“I’d have dinner with my grandad...he’s dead”
I felt sorry for her first time round. THEN kittengate happened so now I think duck it!
 
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Birth. Completed it mate.

alwsys with the bloody denim. We weren’t well off growing up blah blah. Whatever. I went to school with actual poor people, she has no idea. People whose parents didn’t have cars, they never went on holiday, and they certainly didn’t do extra bloody activities!
 
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Another Aquarius here. Is the black pasta made with squid ink ? Wouldn't think that was cheap .
 
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Imagine the midwives telling you "you're doing so well, love" and thinking it means you're the best!
🙈🙈 with 1st midwife told me I wasn’t trying hard enough & if I didn’t try harder I’d be for the knife 🔪
Cabal, I got the knife !! No ripped radiator or silence tho
 
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I felt sorry for her first time round. THEN kittengate happened so now I think duck it!
Yeah. I was looking through her FB photos for something a little while ago, and when the kitten pics suddenly appeared it was like a punch to the gut. I don't think I'll ever feel sorry for her again after that incident.
 
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