Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

[colouredlines]

What the fuckity chuff is that?

In restaurant parlance, I believe it's known as grounds for divorce.

 

[Vroo]

Sorry to hijack thread but ms v came home from work & gave me a cabal inspired present

 

[Pocahontas]

Oh, Jack. Not again.

 

[colouredlines]

If Jack is now deactivating Twitter overnight, what will happen to any political prisoners who need help at 1am?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Better than other girls cos I’m such a bad ass Jack is all the more hilarious when you see her being sickly sweet to Kirsty on Twitter cos she’s scared of her. You’re scared of words on the internet hun somehow I don’t think you’re ripping radiators off walls (unless they’re in daddy’s slum houses so coming off the walls anyway?) or brawling but go off.

Competitive birthing might be a fab cool girl PR exercise for some but it only spreads birthing anxiety for other women and it’s not fair. That ballet pic is lol tho so thanks x

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I’m sure someone else knows how to find the tweet where she said this, but according to her she didn’t make a sound plus she watched her own c-section.

Screenshots by @lilamay

 

[Blurp]

I was once in the background of a BBC Look East news report when they were filming at a stately home-type attraction. So I'm basically a journalist.

In the very, very early days of BBC digital TV, I presented part of three shows on Scottish history 🔺️ . I got asked to screentest after showing the producers around a museum as I was apparently so enthusiastic. I was only supposed to do two segments but got roped in to do a third at short notice when someone couldn't make it - I got asked back by the BBC, Jack!

 

[Pixieboots]

How the hecking heck can she see down there when lying on her back? It wouldn't be physically possible to see your own cesarean surely. I've seen my sisters scar, it is on the lower part of her belly. The baby bump would get in the way wouldn't it? Does she have an overly long neck?

She spends most of her life disappearing up her own arsehole so she must be quite flexible.

 

[Pocahontas]

Slopbot needs that Lady Di sheep jumper...

Bad effort but wtf. (Sorry @traumatised sideboard )

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Obviously doctur (lol) and nurse belong together but why are athlete and teacher in the same category

Since posting here I have become:
-a Youtuber (I uploaded some videos to YouTube)
-a film maker (I made the videos I put on YouTube)
-a musician (I made the music that I made the videos for that I put on YouTube)
-a writer (of scathing essays)
-a programmer
-a website builder
-a brand manager
-a photo editor
-a campaigner (for Jack to remove the wheelchair emoji)

So in conclusion, Tattle is great for personal growth, unless you're Jack, in which case your brain is the size of a sesame seed and you're unable to self-reflect and develop in any positive or meaningful way.

 

[BlendedSlop]

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"I say mama, for tonight's supper I really think we should have something simple. You've been working so hard on your book and all your media appearances you shouldn't have to spend your evening standing at the stove. Why don't we just have beans on toast?"

"SHAN'T. I'm making us a slow-cooked lentil and banana stew with a tomato, cheese, clam, maple syrup and cherryade base, served with garlic, lemongrass and liquorice croutons and topped with grated egg, lemon juice and thyme from the garden. Now fuck off."

 

[SweetTransvestite]

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Happy birthday eve to @Orphan_Black !

I'm spending the day cleaning and painting an internal door yellow. It looks terrible but I'm determined not to admit this and I don't RENT so I can do as I jolly well like.

It amazes me that Jack has 338k followers, about 100k of those are quite new. Ruby has 118k, Grace 274k. And with this, I declare myself a literal Twitter expert.

I was thinking today's subject could be mothers' maiden names, with a round up of PINs tomorrow.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Never have I wanted to know what star sign internet strangers are let alone their old boys

 

[Clovis]

I once danced next to Liza Minnelli in a club so basically I won an academy award as the MC in Cabaret.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She seems to be working with some tory pressure group called 'bright blue'

 

[blurstoftimes]

Found lurking in the archives of Jack's Facebook...lucky Mrs J gets treated to...drum roll please...

Beans cooked in leftover bucks fizz that was sitting out on their bedside table from the night before

good to see she has always treated chard like a herb too. I had to read the caption about 10 times to understand what the fuck is going on here

 

[MancBee]

I have a Capricorn child and a Leo. It's fiery in our house.

I'm Capricorn my partner is Cancer/Leo cusp.

Fun fact, my late first partner of 22 years and my current partner of approx 24 years (on/off for first couple) have exactly the same birthday. Must be compatible I suppose.

ETA I think I've told you all that before. Sorry for repating myself.

 

[Mogmog]

View attachment 493976

Have we ever seen this before? Thinking about her putting on the self timer to take this picture is making me cringe

We get it, you have tattoos What a weird comment to shoe-horn in. If I signed up for ballet lessons, they're not going to look at me and say "no, sorry, you have tattoos so we can't teach you". She constantly wants to be the underdog, disadvantaged because of her tattoos, single motherhood, politics, etc