Jack Monroe #168 Darling, bit gauche

[Lanie]

When we got broken into years ago in the middle of the night my mum frightened them away. I had left my purse ahem after a night out on side and my mum had left her work bag with a few coins. That's all they took and they got a grand total of about a fiver. I hope they enjoyed it.

The old lady at the bottom of the street got robbed on the same night they were in her room and took jewellery and everything.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

There was a spate of vehicle theft here a while back and leaving the keys somewhere that couldn’t be easily seen from outside but where they would be clear to anyone who had already gained entry was what the police advised for the reason you said, 99 out of 100 times that’s all they want and if they can take it and get away they won’t go anywhere else in the house or take anything else. I suppose it doesn’t sound as fun as millions of tiny bolts does in Jacks head.

ETA: the other tip they had was to leave a decoy purse/handbag/wallet in a similarly obvious place with old loyalty cards and about £20 in. As most looking for those are impulses and, ahem, not the brightest and if they think they’ve got the all the cash they’ll scarper.

I asked the police when we had footage for a neighbour’s break in for hers so I had to give a statement with the videos and they said the same, it’s entirely up to you what you’d prefer as there’s no way of stopping it tbh. It’s sad but surely we’ve all accepted that a degree of theft is inevitable with cars, phones, laptops?! The only thing you can do is make sure you’ve got insurance and you stay safe as there’s only one you !

But Jack can’t afford £30 pcm of contents insurance obvs she’s got flower subscriptions to buy

 

[Ladderedtights]

Flying visit to the cabal!
Guess what I just passed on the way to my brother’s for a physically distant visit!?
Happy Birthday those who have birthdays! Sun is shining!

Jacktopic - a birthday cake is something you bake or buy for loved ones. It shouldn’t be a chore or vulva orientated - unless requested.

Edit : said ‘brother’s’ twice because I’m THAT excited

 

[BlendedSlop]

Brag about your huge beautiful garden.

Whinge constantly about having to RENT.

Pick one.

 

[Veronicaaa]

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Brag about your huge beautiful garden.

Whinge constantly about having to RENT.

Pick one.

But ... she can ~empathise~!

 

[Anonymous One]

Yeah looking at some wanker on Twitter’s garden photos will definitely make up for not having a garden. twit.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

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Brag about your huge beautiful garden.

Whinge constantly about having to RENT.

Pick one.

Since when would looking at someone else's garden help?! Brag brag complain complain whinge whinge ad infinitum.

 

[GoLando]

You know the Forth bridge - as soon as painting it was finished they had to start again? Monroe's Twitter is like that. Same tit different day (with added chaos)

Jack is a literal bridge painting expert

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Can confirm it doesn't help! We've gone from a large garden with cool solar lights everywhere and lots of space to a small unit with a tiny backyard and I admit to being envious when I see a lovely plant filled garden.

The only advantage is MC Dad not whinging about mowing it.

 

[GoLando]

It's as boring as the 'how should the loo roll hang (including people bragging about adjusting them if they see them hanging the 'wrong' way)', or the cream on jam / jam on cream scone debate. We're not on Facebook in 2007 anymore and no one cares anyway.

BUT WHAT DO YOU CALL A BREAD BUN

ohhhhh FUCKKKKKK OFFFFF

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Since when would looking at someone else's garden help?! Brag brag complain complain whinge whinge ad infinitum.

the only person her post has helped is Mom Nigella who is probably breathing a huge sigh of relief Jack is in her own garden not sat in Mom’s drawing it.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[kachoochoo]

hiya jack! yes, I've put it on your list

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Here's the link again for today's live event at 13.30:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/events/excqwh/live/c6pv4f

Click the arrow to start the livestream.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Since when would looking at someone else's garden help?! Brag brag complain complain whinge whinge ad infinitum.

Hey Jack, I may not have a garden, but at least I don't RENT.

Would you like to see my land registry record?, it may help.

 

[GoLando]

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Locks, completed it mate.

But, and this has probably been covered, wasn’t Cooper able to open the bathroom door when the kitten was around. See also kitten opening doors to magically bounce onto the bed.

Almost put “conpleted” and actually that’s a perfect word for Jack and her faux expertise.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Can confirm it doesn't help! We've gone from a large garden with cool solar lights everywhere and lots of space to a small unit with a tiny backyard and I admit to being envious when I see a lovely plant filled garden.

The only advantage is MC Dad not whinging about mowing it.

I agree. No garden, no balcony, but, I do have a marvellous collection of houseplants to admire. It infuriates when people like Jack have a glorious garden and waste it, she does nothing to help it, all those plants are there by circumstance.

I had a cheeky garden centre visit last week, I love imagining my perfect garden looking at all the plants!

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's actually OBSESSED with getting people's addresses. It's creepy.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Hollaaa]

I wonder if these forever homes have gardens, Vlad?