Jack Monroe #166 Comments are off

[MarmiteExtract]

I've been fancying some tri colour pasta all day after jack gloating with her dinosaur pasta, but all Tesco have is tricolor fusilli

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Every child loves dinosaurs and now, with these Dinosaur Pasta Shapes, you can serve them up to your budding palaeontologists at teatime! Fabulous for birthday teas, Friday night sleepovers or just because… dish up a T-Rex-themed treat with your favourite pasta sauce and you’re not just making supper, you’re creating special memories.

We'd already done a whip-round and bought up all the dinosaur pasta in preparation for your next birthday Yel. It'll be left on your doorstep alongside £20 in coins, some pink pineapple slices and a placemat woven from our collective hair.

 

[Switchstreetz]

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ETA - Insta caption. Paragraphs, Jack!!View attachment 487449View attachment 487450

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I see they were all out of "mama" birthday cards

Lmao for a minute I thought someone bought her a voucher for cooking lessons

 

[Scoopy79]

If I am ever tempted to feel sorry for Jack, all I need to do is looking at that bleeping wheelchair in her bio which is STILL THERE. She is a superlyingfragiletwistednarcywhiningtoerag.

My poor mum has osteoarthritis, lives alone and can barely walk anymore and I haven't seen her since Christmas 2019. She is totally stoic, barely complains even though she is lonely and in constant pain. I have zero patience for Jack's nonsense today.

Sending love, my Mum has a chronic illness and I've not seen her since Christmas 2019 too

 

[Fruitjack]

What is the white thing with her face on top right of the birthday present haul? Has someone bought her a picture of herself? If so, they know her VERY well.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Milk Tray though, that's some tit tier, petrol station, leftover from Mother's Day type chocolate. Although I do like the strawberry one that tastes like calpol.

 

[Harrybosch]

Is “Milk” Tray vegan?

As vegan as upside down chicken.

 

[Pocahontas]

As vegan as upside down chicken.

So, yes then.
Ish.

 

[Debarkle]

I think the pair of them genuinely think they’re the masters of stealth and nobody could tell that bubble buddies name was obviously Louisa on those pics Jack posted that were “censored”, nobody realised LJC and can interpret the truth behind “dear friend” if they have. They got away, seemingly with the obvious COVID link.

See I think Jack wanted us to be able to work out it was Louisa who was the bubble buddy. Just like she’ll have purposely set up the cards and presents in a way to get us talking.

She’ll say we’re obsessed with her but she’s obsessed with us and her threads here.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Why didn't she use the more premium and healthier del Monte pineapple? If there's ever a time for special occasion tinned del Monte pineapple to "show you care" and to "desire something special" it's on your birthday doing a recipe for tattlers del Monte Europe fans!

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Del Monte has nurtured and grown the very best pineapple for you. Del Monte Gold® Pineapple, now available in a can, is a unique variety that is naturally sweeter with a higher level of Vitamin C and is distinguished by its vibrant golden colour. Perfect for those occasions when you want to show you care; and for everyday when you desire something special.

Before the pineapple famine, I bought this pineapple at Asda (very reduced). It’s lovely, much nicer than the ordinary del Monte pineapple. Don’t buy any del Monte now because the price gas increased so much

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Could we rule out her buying it herself and planting it knowing the Cable would see it? I just think that if they were married we would have 100% heard about it. Maybe they want to get married but that pesky “‘rona” is thwarting their plans...but then you can buy fiancée cards IDK why I’m even thinking about it tbh

In the Zoom chat she did with Waterstones (I think?) at the start of lockdown one, she refers to LC as her wife then, too.

I wonder if it might be a peculiar affectation?

 

[maytoseptember]

Has she deleted the birthday present photo? I’ve just scanned through her tweets looking for it, and can’t face scanning through 37 pages of this thread, even though I really wanna see!

 

[Harrybosch]

There's also a very real risk that 'women's writing' is reduced to writing about our own personal trauma. We are allowed to write other things! Just like men! And also, who on earth wants their trauma to be 'more enduring'?

That quote is bizarre. You've hit a lot of nails on the head with your #actualhottake.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She’ll say we’re obsessed with her but she’s obsessed with us and her threads here.

<insert the messees become the messers friends gif>

 

[Brian Butterfield]

In the Zoom chat she did with Waterstones (I think?) at the start of lockdown one, she refers to LC as her wife then, too.

I wonder if it might be a peculiar affectation?

CONFESSION: Pretty much from our first date when I passed out in his lap drunk, my husband called me Wifey and I called him Hubby. I know, I know, it's revolting, cutesy and twee as duck and if you knew me IRL you would know I would make sick faces at anyone else doing this and take the endless piss out of them, (rightly so). Please don't judge me too harshly you bullying ninnies.

So I agree it's just a term of endearment and not because they're actually married.

On no planet would Jack the Narc have got married and not banged on about it for all eternity.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

CONFESSION: Pretty much from our first date when I passed out in his lap drunk, my husband called me Wifey and I called him Hubby. I know, I know, it's revolting, cutesy and twee as duck and if you knew me IRL you would know I would make sick faces at anyone else doing this and take the endless piss out of them, (rightly so). Please don't judge me too harshly you bullying ninnies.

So I agree it's just a term of endearment and not because they're actually married.

On no planet would Jack the Narc have got married and not banged on about it for all eternity.

I reluctantly agree but like so many other things, behaviours that pass me by in others grind my gears to distraction in Jack.

For some reason.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Has she deleted the birthday present photo? I’ve just scanned through her tweets looking for it, and can’t face scanning through 37 pages of this thread, even though I really wanna see!

It's on Instagram stories.

 

[Cack Slumrow]

CONFESSION: Pretty much from our first date when I passed out in his lap drunk, my husband called me Wifey and I called him Hubby. I know, I know, it's revolting, cutesy and twee as duck and if you knew me IRL you would know I would make sick faces at anyone else doing this and take the endless piss out of them, (rightly so). Please don't judge me too harshly you bullying ninnies.

So I agree it's just a term of endearment and not because they're actually married.

On no planet would Jack the Narc have got married and not banged on about it for all eternity.

I love you even more now

 

[maytoseptember]

It's on Instagram stories.

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OMG, the two £20 notes carefully laid out. Whyyyyyy?

 

[Billybellend]

Apols for the new avatar Fraus and Herren - simply couldn’t resist

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I love you even more now

I'm seriously considering deleting that post.

Embarrassed Brian