Jack Monroe #166 Comments are off

[Marmalade Atkins]

Oh lordy! The cringe is real.

She followed Femi_sorry for the same reason

 

[Veronicaaa]

She followed Femi_sorry for the same reason

I take it she didn't follow any non-blue tickers who said they shared her birthday. Strange, that.

 

[Badlyplatedflapjacks]

It’s a hetero couple card that one

Yes first thing I spotted. Not too bothered about anyone buying a wife card even if they're not married but if it is from the brexit tin thief then it smacks of last minute low effort. Moonpig, Thortful and Funky Pigeon are also things that exist.

 

[Auntyanchïoade]

So the cabal had lovely little hats for one precious day, fizzing with joy at our new teeny smol chapeaus, and she can't help but elevenerife us on the day we lose them. Leggings on your head. Nah.

 

[Shawads]

I'm a b, because the cynic in me was like; I bet she's just found stuff about her crappy bungalow to act as presents to be all 'How loved am I'.

In my defence, I was giving her the slightest benefit of the doubt over how authentic her anxiety on camera is yesterday, so I'm doubling down hard on cynicism today.

Babe, same but someone I went to uni with. Had to delete her off FB after seeing many birthday messages saying 'Hepp Berf', 'I dids a fingy' etc. References to the 'torlet' was the thing that broke me. Just speak normally! (Also I really don't want to know about your bathroom habits)

God it sounds like the same person!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Serious question.

How does she not die of embarrassment every day?

Everything she does and says is so utterly cringe-worthy.

It's painful to watch let alone live it.

And knowing that only Tattlers watched her Del Monte live? Yikes.

We ARE the audience she deserves!

 

[Shawads]

Why didn't she use the more premium and healthier del Monte pineapple? If there's ever a time for special occasion tinned del Monte pineapple to "show you care" and to "desire something special" it's on your birthday doing a recipe for tattlers del Monte Europe fans!

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Del Monte has nurtured and grown the very best pineapple for you. Del Monte Gold® Pineapple, now available in a can, is a unique variety that is naturally sweeter with a higher level of Vitamin C and is distinguished by its vibrant golden colour. Perfect for those occasions when you want to show you care; and for everyday when you desire something special.

That's such a camp label, I love it. When you've finished with it can you pop it in the post? I'll ping you an email with my addy. Ta.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

LJC doesn’t do Asda, she’s a strictly Waitrose cheese counter gal, this looks like a self purchase. Do we think JM would be able to hide her greedy goblin glee if she had Louisa back? No swiftly deleted tweets in the night showing us mithering ninnies??

(Could this be our next poll please?)

I think LJC never really left. My working theory is that LJC was regularly staying in London for her work and one day she and Jack had a row so she went back early or went back while they were both still annoyed. Jack did her big “SHE LEFT” on twitter to guilt her/gain headpats and made such a deal of it she didn’t know how to walk it back for the squigs when they made up and LJC returned as normal shortly after. Plus she was enjoying the pity and headpats too much, of course.

 

[Ladderedtights]

Sorry, I don’t know where this will land but ‘hybrid’. Oh god. I know that you can call yourself what you want but it can be a really insidious word for some people of dual / multiple heritage. Urgh. Jack, you twit.

Also, really miss the wee hats

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ETA - Insta caption. Paragraphs, Jack!!View attachment 487449View attachment 487450

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[cheapwetham]

If I am ever tempted to feel sorry for Jack, all I need to do is looking at that bleeping wheelchair in her bio which is STILL THERE. She is a superlyingfragiletwistednarcywhiningtoerag.

My poor mum has osteoarthritis, lives alone and can barely walk anymore and I haven't seen her since Christmas 2019. She is totally stoic, barely complains even though she is lonely and in constant pain. I have zero patience for Jack's nonsense today.

If that isn't a #thread title suggestion, I don't know what is

 

[Mr Krabs]

If I am ever tempted to feel sorry for Jack, all I need to do is looking at that bleeping wheelchair in her bio which is STILL THERE. She is a superlyingfragiletwistednarcywhiningtoerag.

My poor mum has osteoarthritis, lives alone and can barely walk anymore and I haven't seen her since Christmas 2019. She is totally stoic, barely complains even though she is lonely and in constant pain. I have zero patience for Jack's nonsense today.

I'm so sorry. A friend of mine is immune compromised having battled cancer and has limited mobility. They have left their home twice in the past year for hospital appointments, but otherwise have been at home this entire time with only a small courtyard garden. But they have stayed so strong and cheery through this whole thing it puts me to shame! It annoys me so much that JM plays the disability card, and that when she supposedly had COVID she went to the chippy and newsagent and then tried to extract sympathy from the long COVID community.

She's like:

 

[spirals]

I think LJC never really left. My working theory is that LJC was regularly staying in London for her work and one day she and Jack had a row so she went back early or went back while they were both still annoyed. Jack did her big “SHE LEFT” on twitter to guilt her/gain headpats and made such a deal of it she didn’t know how to walk it back for the squigs when they made up and LJC returned as normal shortly after.

This would mean L was around for the whole kitten debacle

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

My working theory is that

I you.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I don’t know why, but the forty quid in the middle is kind of endearing - like I’d display all my pressies and birthday money like that when I was a smol one as well.

It is rather sweet, and I do like the pirate card from her parents.

 

[Icing _on_ the_cake]

I thought she shaved her head

I thought her hair was falling out in clumps.

 

[Cookiecookie]

It's because they share the same birthday...

Why on earth would you follow someone just because you share a birthday? I doubt very much Rob 'Face of the Atkins Diet' Lowe has heard of Jack Monroe

 

[Vanelope]

Isn’t she 35 today?
Displaying your presents is beyond... just beyond

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

This would mean L was around for the whole kitten debacle

Even if my theory is wrong, Jack tagged her in one of the kitten posts. Whether she was physically there or working in London, they were together or “on a break” as Ross would say, she was definitely aware of it.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Isn’t she 35 today?
Displaying your presents is beyond... just beyond

Are we still going to be here seeing her presents when she turns 35?

We will have run out of gifs.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

The present thing is so clearly "LOOK! I do have friends! Look how popular I am!".

Tragic.

Almost as annoying as when people reshare Insta stories of all their "close" mates wishing them happy birthday

Isn’t she 35 today?
Displaying your presents is beyond... just beyond