Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[maytoseptember]

Jack is so ridiculous. She preaches a middle class idea of what she thinks poor people should be grateful to eat - joyless, tasteless slop in other words

This is so true! The only reason she hasn’t been rumbled for this over the years is because the liberal elite in the media who gave her a platform did so not because they actually rated her as a cook but because they subconsciously agreed that poor people should be grateful for joyless slop.

I think championing a “poor person” like Jack made them (The Guardian, Nigella, Fortnum & Mason etc) feel good about themselves. Look at us! Being all inclusive and shit!

And she was the acceptable face of poverty too - a lefty lesbian single mother of one, not one of those stupid feckless underclass single mother types. There’s no way someone with that profile would have got themselves a platform like Jack did.

 

[FrumpyCat]

All of this to say she made french toast. Maverick!

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That is just weird. In October she couldn't tell her child to sort him self out a bowl of cereal, but a few weeks ago she wanted him to learn cookery, bedmaking, using power tools, and basic accounting, or whatever else was on that stupid list.

 

[Harrybosch]

Can anyone who has one explain (apart from the aesthetic ) why smeg fridges are so good? If she’s as poor as she claims surely she would get a less expensive one?.

They are great at melting cheese.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Move over rice police, and let the cheese police through.
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Ah so it’s Jamie now is it, rather than THAT MAN!!

 

[Lemonsweets91]

She has told someone one of cheeses has melted. How the actual fuck would cheese melt at room temp? Lies.

 

[lipsticktaser]

Bravely fighting the trolls nips first!

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PS Jack, re. 'caveat'...

I’ve always been vocal when people have been Talking about how she is having some MH issues. But nope, I’m on board now. The nip pics, the bath pics, the hair. Her putting herself out there like this and the shed. She’s (in my opinion, based of my experiences) in the flux of a state of mania. She’s deff bubbling high. I hope she has support for the down. I think she alienates herself from people who don’t feed her ego, or fit her narrative. I hope the yes people she’s kept are helpful.
Actually come to think of it, she never posts about friends does she? Do we think she has any?

 

[GeorgiaOrwell]

I am so happy to see these threads and that other people can see through Jackanory. It used to drive me mad with all the arse licking on mumsnet.

SHE DOES NOT ADD UP! We are the same age and I literally do not understand how she’s managed to fit in so many illnesses and dramas into her life she must be exhausted.

I feel incredibly sorry for her family her parents sound like such giving, selfless people and they must be mortified that Jack “chose to be a sex worker“ rather than asked them for help. It just seems ironic that of all the children they have fostered Jack is probably the most unstable.

I’m only an armchair psychologist but I would say she definitely has a co morbidity of BPD and NPD.

 

[chocolate choux]

Is there a job description for “pointlessly twatting around on Twitter for the length of a standard working day”?

Influencer?

 

[chocolate choux]

She’s not reading here. Nope, she’s not View attachment 132403

That’s right, Jack. You don’t know how to store vegetables and you are doing something wrong here

 

[PennyLoafer]

The writing style is very similar. I think someone on the thread has 'seen' internet proof that Caroline exists via photo evidence however I wouldn't put catfishing beyond JM's many skills.

Ha ha! This is the first time I've focused on this but yes, Caroline *has* to be Jack. Her old PA, Vix, is definitely real but Caroline was gently hatched from a phoenix egg during the Kickstarter fuck-up to take the heat off Jack.

Exhibit A: No-one tweets about their boss on New Year's Day unless they're Andrea Sachs. Jack, you wand!

 

[Harrybosch]

What on earth is this slop? And it is in her BOOK? UGH

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When I read jalapeno crisps in the description, I thought it meant sliced jalapenos that had been dehydrated or fried to be cripsy. I've had to look at this picture far too long to realise that I think she's just referring to crumbled up potato crisps with I assume jalapeno flavour? For the record, your honour, I object! I object!

 

[Breakdance Badass]

You trolls are all just jealous, she’s been shortlisted for an award. See, she can write!! Nice her Mum has to point out she belongs with her family ...

 

[Flumps]

Why thank you @poppycat I did used to live up north, so would be quite content. I can cook and bake (honest!), so long as you don't mind swearing, and the odd stupid injury. I once turned the wrong burner on, touched it, and somehow recoiled with the most incredible left hook to my nose. I was seeing stars!

Sorry, this made me snort. Or HOOT as I believe is de rigueur.

I am also a terrible klutz. When I was pregnant, years and years ago now, I slipped on some ice and fell and landed really heavily on my hands. In shock I proceeded to carry on with my day which was to take my then husband and his mates to a 5-a-side game. I drove to the sports club and could feel my left arm seizing up as I drove and by the time I got there I could no longer turn the wheel with it and was in A LOT of pain. They carried on with their game, because I go v quiet when I'm in pain. Had to ring my mum and she took me to A&E. At A&E they tried to X-ray my elbow, couldn't because I couldn't move it and they couldn't use certain angles because I had the iron apron on and they were worried about the baby. Waited for a doctor with my mum, still mostly silent. Doctor had clearly decided nothing much was wrong from what he could see on the x-ray and that I was being a bit of a wimp, and I couldn't be in much pain as I was talking quietly and politely. He proceeded to try and straighten my arm. He got to a certain point and then I fixed him with a stare and said, still quietly and politely but apparently terrifyingly, 'You are going to fucking stop doing that right now'. Sent me away in a sling, saying it was bruised.

2 days later I was cooking dinner, touched the hot bar of the oven with the hand attached to the bad elbow that had only been getting more painful. Like you, I snatched it away from the hot thing. There was an audible POP, my arm straightened and what was apparently an undiagnosed dislocated elbow snapped back into place with about the most intense moment of *something* I'd ever experienced. Had a lovely burn on my hand for ages too.

 

[I steal names]

I think I've finally lost my mind with the 47 broken foot bones. Oh Jack, you are too much!



Also, no one, I repeat, NO ONE with any cookery knowledge struggles to peel a garlic clove for TEN MINUTES. Just bash the bugger with the side of a knife.

 

[Flumps]

What on earth is this slop? And it is in her BOOK? UGH

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The juxtaposition of the stylized food photography that seems to be the standard in all modern cookery books these days, all the seemingly carelessly placed but artful accessories and natural materials around it, and the clever lighting with what's ACTUALLY IN THE BOWL, has really made me laugh. Can't polish a turd people.

 

[Raker]

Looks like it was a different fridge on Daily Kitchen. Can't believe Jack's turned me into a fridge truther.

.... and yet another excellent user name is generated

 

[Nottonightbabe]

This is a long post to read if you can be bothered but since it’s on the subject of patron I thought I would share that my artist friend has launched hers and it couldn’t be more different than JM. So much gratitude to her audience who help her pay her bills.

I'm confused... Where's the narky sense of entitlement? The contempt and disregard for her followers? Not even a hard done by speech?? Most strange. Are you quite sure she's got this Patreon lark right?

 

[poppycat]

That spaghetti hoop monstrosity has actually angered me. It's just such blatant bullshit for her to take up space on a page. A 500g bag of value pasta is under £1 isn't it? Just fucking cook some of that and have it with cheese, butter, salt and pepper. Or have hoops on toast. Or on a baked tattie. Or maybe with a potato waffle. She makes meals into a form of self flagellation.

The more I see of her 'recipes' the more I think that she hates food.
She's mentioned having an eating disorder in the past, whether this is true or not her attitude towards food reminds me of the disordered eating patterns of those who do - slopping together items regardless of how they will taste (with her it's under the guise of it being *cheap*), eating large quantities totally out of proportion to what would be adequate for a normal meal (on DKL she constantly suggested that she ate huge unrealistic amounts, Matt's face was a picture at times at the ridiculous comments).
This is just my opinion but she doesn't present as someone with a healthy attitude towards food, there is no sense of enjoyment in the process of cooking or taste, and I'm not sure what she hopes to achieve by insinuating that she eats enormous amounts of food that frankly would be impossible at one sitting. Again please be aware m'lud I am merely expressing an opinion based on my interpretation of her own comments.

 

[Raker]

I don’t get these people complaining publicly about their parents over so little/perceived slights. If there’s one thing having a child does, or should do, is make you fully appreciate what your own parent(s) went through when they had you — in very different times.

Meanwhile there are thousands of children in this country alone who DO have every right to complain about their terrible and scarring upbringings, but they are for the most part voiceless, and suffering.

 

[PennyLoafer]

My tuppence worth on food storage: if it's not refrigerated in the shop, it doesn't need to be so at home.

I think only meat, fish and dairy need to go in the fridge tbh.

It's like best before/use by dates - we've become too hung up on this sort of thing and should trust to our senses more.