Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[Nottonightbabe]

Just read some of the book intro, Christ it's like she just threw a Thesaurus of Wretched Depressing Words at it. Reads horribly and seems like she's just used it as another opportunity to drive home just how 'ill' she is and how hard she has it. There's nothing comforting, or reassuring in that at all.

I have severe depression, that culminates in cyclic episodes, approximately every 4-6 weeks (it's one of a couple of disorders but I won't go all Monroe on you). One of my go tos when things are bad is to chuck Ina Garten on the telly . She's warm and comforting and non triggering. Watching her cook chicken for Jeffery is a nice simple distraction for a bit . Reading Jack's words gives me the opposite feeling.

 

[PennyLoafer]

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You won't last an hour. If she said that to me when I was at the checkout, I would tell her to go blow a goat.

This. So unbelievably patronising. She's never had a 'great' recipe for anything except how to blend lies, manipulation and aggression into a half-arsed career.

On a happier note, I just a made a monster version of this with added broccoli and blue cheese:

https://www.theguardian.com/food/20...eerful-rachel-roddy-thrifty-pasta-bake-recipe

Ovaries blissfully swooning, arteries incandescent with rage etc etc.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Lol at the latest Twitter post. Love when people do that thing of “I was going to have a moan but I won’t - oh wait, I’m already doing it”.

 

[Raker]

Is there a job description for “pointlessly twatting around on Twitter for the length of a standard working day”?

 

[LittleBitAlexis]

Fuck absolutely off. I had a friend take her own life whilst on the waiting list for the gender identity clinic because she couldn't cope with living in a body that appeared male.

Same, but my friend couldn't cope with a body that appeared female. It was 2 years ago last week.

I feel it's just one more thing on a very long list that she makes a complete mockery of. How anyone still takes her seriously is beyond me.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Sorry for the multiple posts.

Eat. The. Spunked.Lasagna.Or.No.Pudding.For.You.

 

[PennyLoafer]

'Lies' and people disliking you are not the same thing, Jackanoshy.

But while we're on the subject of lying, this is a good one...

 

[Raker]

Jack Monroe #17 - Broken fridges , burning bridges.

Adding to it:

Jack Monroe #17 - Broken fridges, burning bridges, broken toes, Pinocchio nose

 

[Badlyplatedflapjacks]

These threads give me life. I've had a fairly shit weekend and it being mental health awareness week this week has really triggered me because I'm too bloody aware of mental health rn thanks but this thread has cheered me up. I will NOT be making any depressipes at this time. I made chili in the slow cooker and then ordered take away instead. That is an act of self love.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I can't stop laughing at this 'recipe'.

Delicious tin can recipe: Jack Monroe's anellini con cacio e pepe

Jack Monroe’s Tin Can Cook features 75 delicious recipes that use only canned foods and dried ingredients. Try her delicious, easy-to-make anellini con cacio e pepe.

www.panmacmillan.com

 

[colouredlines]

I made the salad bag pesto. You know, it was actually RANK. I followed her recipe, although I used well in date salad. It was green, but that's about it. The silver dollar pancakes were actually great, but she's no great innovator.

I just had a look at the salad bag pesto recipe. No cheese, no pine nuts (or any other nut, to save money) = no texture. Sunflower oil instead of olive oil. Just rotting veg and a bit of garlic.

It's sad. She just doesn't seem to like cooking. Her recent recipes in the Guardian all had these bizarrely basic errors, like simmering pasta or turning the heat up on bechamel before adding cheese. These are the basics of cooking, and after so many years of writing recipes, she still doesn't have a clue.

 

[Harrybosch]

Yeeessh, she needs something a bit more supportive than that crop top. Not just for exercise but for anything as her boobs are quite big - mine are too and if I tried to exercise (I can hear my friends and family laughing rn) in anything like that I'd be in agony!

Any hoo, yy to the criticising your family like that in public. It must be awful for them to see and I can well imagine a few of them seething away in private.

On the subject of forgiveness - I think it's very, very personal, and nobody should ever feel it's something they have to do, because imo some things are unforgivable. Also, someone can only be forgiven if they are genuinely sorry.

Unfortunately lots of abusive parents aren't sorry because they don't think they've done anything wrong.

You don't get it, do you? She's too POOR to get a sports bra and joggers. Seriously, stay in your lane.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

I do find it bewildering how she can be so enthusiastic about animal products after her vegan stint. Like there’s introducing animal products again and then there’s what she’s doing. Genuinely struggle to see how someone can be so cavalier about eggs, for example, after knowing (and lecturing others!) about how they are produced. Did she ever care?

And that’s not anything about people who happily eat eggs, I get it, I ate eggs for over 30 years and am not a vegan myself. I know it’s a fraught topic but she seems quite good at hiding amongst those - to prevent scrutiny?

I just really don’t get it - she talked such a good game to sell that vegan book. It shows how easily she adopts identities and then sheds them when it suits or when the mileage runs out.

 

[PennyLoafer]

Wasn't there a fridge in her shed? The one should put those magnetic spice jars on?


Slop(ish)

For Book 7, I'm thinking 'Visible Food for Invisible Illnesses'.

Or she's going to zip up her boots and go back to her roots and produce a book of Greek-Cypriot/Northern Irish fusion recipes. Surprised she hasn't already done that, to be honest. Jack, if you're reading - you're welcome!

 

[Alansbigplate]

She could do a book about her non binary journey and needing to use up stuff that’s going off out your broken fridge and call it ‘On The Turn’

 

[Saturn.]

Sorry for spamming but I’ve not been on Twitter for a while! Superfan seems to get ignored in the main, bit of a shame, she has such an inflated blinkered view of JM

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Could I be the first to compliment you on your first class redaction skills. Have you considered a career in MI5?

 

[Pocahontas]

Keynote speaker while on tippy toes for 12 fecking minutes.

 

[Raker]

Jack Monroe #17 - The toe bone's connected to the 47 foot bones - The 47 foot bones connected to the ankle bone …..

Tip jar?

 

[CarrotsandSticks]

Apparently we can have a nosey about in her 'cosy' home now.
Jacks gaff

what a proper opulent, high ceilinged and vast mature gardened shit hole.. it’s beautiful, I want a Bungalow like that but inspite of working in a call centre, I am apparently not skint enough to afford that..

 

[HarderFaster]

If she gets a Smeg for free out of this I will personally mail a rotten carton of Jack's corned beef chilli with a side of horse spunk to their headquarters every day for the rest of my life. Grasping cow.