Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

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How I howled over that.

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You won't last an hour. If she said that to me when I was at the checkout, I would tell her to go blow a goat.
I find it telling that she assumes people are buying items without a plan or idea as to how to consume them.

It’s the same problem with her manky salad bag pesto. It’s just a gimmick ‘solution’ when it would be so much better to look at how people can wean themselves off buying the salad bags in the first place and encourage ways of consuming more greens when they’re fresh.
 
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I find it telling that she assumes people are buying items without a plan or idea as to how to consume them.
Exactly. She treats people like they are stupid and don't know what they are doing. If someone actually said that to me I'd drop a nasty fart bomb and smile happily.

For all us Tatties on here (both male and female and other) we have been recognized on Urban Dictionary. You are loved

 
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You won't last an hour. If she said that to me when I was at the checkout, I would tell her to go blow a goat.
This. So unbelievably patronising. She's never had a 'great' recipe for anything except how to blend lies, manipulation and aggression into a half-arsed career.

On a happier note, I just a made a monster version of this with added broccoli and blue cheese:

https://www.theguardian.com/food/20...eerful-rachel-roddy-thrifty-pasta-bake-recipe

Ovaries blissfully swooning, arteries incandescent with rage etc etc.
 
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But Pesto E Coli is so fancy no?
 
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Colour me surprised that she ever worked in a supermarket. Was that before or after the cafe job, the nightclub job, the fire service job, the sex work, or the not being able to work?

Incidentally, was there not something shared recently (Twitter screenshots probably) saying that she was a prostitute in 2013. That was after she got famous! Somehow I’d assumed this phase (<cough>if it happened<cough>) would have to have been pre-fame. She won the Fortnum and Mason Judges' Choice Award that year.
 
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I will start

Author
Telly presenter
Cookery lecturer
Burger flipper
Barista
Sex worker
Sunday School teacher
Nightclub shots server
Chippy worker
Fire service control room operator
Campaigner
Activist
Political commentator
Food writer
Journalist

(All her words, not mine)
 
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Fuck absolutely off. I had a friend take her own life whilst on the waiting list for the gender identity clinic because she couldn't cope with living in a body that appeared male.
Same, but my friend couldn't cope with a body that appeared female. It was 2 years ago last week.

I feel it's just one more thing on a very long list that she makes a complete mockery of. How anyone still takes her seriously is beyond me.
 
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I will start

Author
Telly presenter
Cookery lecturer
Sex worker
Chippy girl
Nightclub shot pourer
Burger flipper
Barista
Sex worker
Sunday School teacher
Nightclub shots server
Chippy worker
Fire service control room operator
Campaigner
Activist
Political commentator
Food writer
Journalist

(All her words, not mine)
Didn't she also have some belt in self defense?

@Flumps Is still lost at seedaholic I think. Don't worry Flumps, I'm coming to save you.


Hello, hello Jack? You know that recipe for your spunked lasagna?



JM wasn't picked up for any more telly shows. More barf oat recipes coming.



Did you really cook that yak white chocolate fruit tray bake?



Not the tinned peach chick pea curry again.




Matt, Matt Tebbutt, is that you? Have you rolled up your sleeves?



2 fruit salad with curry and make it snappy

 
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How I howled over that.

View attachment 131604

You won't last an hour. If she said that to me when I was at the checkout, I would tell her to go blow a goat.
Fucking hell, I'd abandon my shopping or chuck a can of beans at her if she started that shit while I'm trying to bag my shopping, I happily chat to the checkout staff, but about meaning less shite mostly lol they don't tell me what slop I can cook with my tinned goods. Let's face it though, she would never go back to a regular 9-5 job, don't think she could handle it in my humble opinion...
 
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Fresh lemon? Fancy!



No camp stove cooking with Jack?


I'll have the salad bag pesto. And a self love stew.


Kale salad. Lets all shit ourselves with joyous abandon



If it isn't in a tin, it isn't worth having.



I'm out of tinned peaches.



Afternoon tea? Fancy


I'm a cookery writer, I cook for depressipes.
Buy my book and skip along for you are supporting me.



I'm sorry but I am immune compromised and simply cannot go out to buy 18 L of paint today



OMG, my anchovy paste, it made my ovaries move north to Alaska.

 
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Burger flipper
Barista
Sex worker
Sunday School teacher
Nightclub shots server
Chippy worker
Fire service control room operator
Campaigner
Activist
Political commentator
Food writer
Journalist

(All her words, not mine)
Blogger
Trainee reporter
Supermarket worker
 
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These are killing me, keep em coming, I did chortle with gay abandon at the Matt one in the other post
 
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Doncha know, we are Hausfraus and we rock. Stand tall sista.



Tip me, patreon me or just give me fucking money you peon.



A flask full of fishy ramen noodles in the tent. Yes of course.



THAT MAN - it's jollef rice all over again



Just bung it in...



Pull up a chair and let me tell you about Jackanoshy



Black tea in recipes, I invented it.



ASDA has run out of bottled lemon. I must use fresh.

 
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This is just a crazy hunch from my weird little barefoot brain but... I'm starting to think you may be a Lucille Ball fan?
 
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