Jack Monroe #143 The viggles are all over Del Monte

[RobinsNest]

What the duck would he know about being a teenage girl?

Then again, what would JM know about making edible food for a family on UC?

He did actually say on Instagram that he's been turning down more and more tv/radio/podcast work because they often rope him in to discussions that he feels he has no expertise in, and he accepted this one and instantly regretted it as he knows teenage girls are not his forte.

I really liked the explanation that Matt's book does not translate well to Twitter. I think the distinction between Matt and Jack are that Matt has actual talent and actual experience of what he's talking about, even if he does go on, and get a bit annoying. He's not playing the depressed person role and trying to make some quick cash off the back of it.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

DefinitelyNotJack is working hard to show they are Definitely Not Jack. Like Jack, they share the same love for side bowls as serving receptacles and over-saturating green food.

DefinitelyNotJack

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Jack
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Can't be. It looks edible.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I find this whole 'take a flask to your desk / fill a slow cooker with tea' thing so baffling. What on earth is the big deal with putting on the kettle and making a cuppa if and when you want it?

 

[OiOiNoseyParker]

In the previous thread @OiOiNoseyParker said

Jack Monrogue, patreon Saint of sock puppets.

Who on earth has time for multiple sm accounts? Life is too short for that tit!

the judge in the Hopkins case said she had at least 9 sock accounts.

It's a different world at the crappy bungalow, evidently

Edit:

 

[Fruitjack]

I find this whole 'take a flask to your desk / fill a slow cooker with tea' thing so baffling. What on earth is the big deal with putting on the kettle and making a cuppa if and when you want it?

For me, who has to work in my kitchen, absolutely nothing. For people who have to walk down the cavernous halls and bedrooms of a large crappy bungalow, everything.

 

[Pocahontas]

I find this whole 'take a flask to your desk / fill a slow cooker with tea' thing so baffling. What on earth is the big deal with putting on the kettle and making a cuppa if and when you want it?

Because, dear one, every time you switch the kettle on, a sweet little fairy called Thrifty Thistledown dies.

(although quite how keeping a slow cooker on all day from which to ladle out stewed tea keeps the bills down, I do not know)

 

[girolle]

I find this whole 'take a flask to your desk / fill a slow cooker with tea' thing so baffling. What on earth is the big deal with putting on the kettle and making a cuppa if and when you want it?

I just looked on NPower's website. They said the following about energy consumption. Surely it would make sense to boil the kettle once and then use a flask or an insulated bottle if you were being ultra-cautious about energy consumption?

• Kettle: around 2p to boil a full kettle: The average kettle holds 1.5 litres of water and uses about 0.1 kWh of electricity to boil for 3 minutes. That’s around 2p every time you boil a full kettle.
• Slow cooker: around 21p per meal: A slow cooker is a very efficient way to cook a hot meal. The average 3.5 litre slow cooker uses about 1.3 kWh of electricity or 21p to power eight hours of cooking – that’s less that 3p per hour.

 

[HarderFaster]

I find this whole 'take a flask to your desk / fill a slow cooker with tea' thing so baffling. What on earth is the big deal with putting on the kettle and making a cuppa if and when you want it?

Just pure performance. Performative busy-ness and performative frugality. She has soooooo much to do she can’t even wait for a kettle to boil, and implying she’s on a meter or something so every time it’s switched on it’s draining her money. Total bullshit.

Not gonna slag sockpuppetvegan for the chipped crockery as I keep some chipped stuff that I can’t bear to throw away, and to hell with bacteria, BUT I find it distinctly odd that they’re being so very active in their supposed first couple of days on Instagram. Normally you’d spend days to weeks getting to know a platform and a feel for how people post, but here we are and they’re cropping and filtering and tagging people and hashtagging with abandon. Susp.

Love the idea that Jack is due to deliver her manuscript tomorrow and is wasting her time taunting us with a fake viggle.

 

[RobinsNest]

I find this whole 'take a flask to your desk / fill a slow cooker with tea' thing so baffling. What on earth is the big deal with putting on the kettle and making a cuppa if and when you want it?

Hold up hold up hold up

Did someone actually suggest filling a slow cooker with tea?

Please excuse me while I find my heaviest teapot to bonk them on the head with.

 

[Missmopps]

It's a different world at the crappy bungalow, evidently

Edit:

Denim shirty bungalow?

 

[Jelly Bean]

He did actually say on Instagram that he's been turning down more and more tv/radio/podcast work because they often rope him in to discussions that he feels he has no expertise in, and he accepted this one and instantly regretted it as he knows teenage girls are not his forte.

I really liked the explanation that Matt's book does not translate well to Twitter. I think the distinction between Matt and Jack are that Matt has actual talent and actual experience of what he's talking about, even if he does go on, and get a bit annoying. He's not playing the depressed person role and trying to make some quick cash off the back of it.

I actually felt more kindly disposed to Matt after the Woman's Hour thing. I heard he was on and thought he would just moan about trolls. But he didn't tbf - he said he had made mistakes, should've come off Twitter ages ago and had the wrong temperament for it.
He does seem to be basically decent tbh.
Jack I'm afraid isn't. And she will always blame others. She also has a worryingly sneaky side - all her sock puppets. No doubt she would insultingly blame this on her ADHD or something.

(Btw that wiki is hilarious).

 

[Emmapism]

Her book is due on Monday. Still laughing about it

 

[Nottonightbabe]

DefinitelyNotJack is working hard to show they are Definitely Not Jack. Like Jack, they share the same love for side bowls as serving receptacles and over-saturating green food.

DefinitelyNotJack

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Jack
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Is that plenty of black pepper I spy in DefinitelyNotJack's photo..?

 

[OiOiNoseyParker]

Denim shirty bungalow?

Is there any other kind? blummin auto

OT. Noted that my phone will happily change blummin to bumming (how rude!) but shirty takes precedence over crappy.

 

[housemouse]

If she wants to go hardcore money saving, she needs to read tightwad gazette, 80s or 90s pre internet American money saving. It is interesting or why doesn’t she use money saving expert forums like everyone else. She’d like OS money saving (maybe)

 

[Puddy Muddle]

Fraus, I apologise in advance for this - not just to Queen but also to @TheDragonWithAFlagon, whose glorious version I had totally forgotten about when the NarcLife thread title threw me some opening lines, which turned into an earworm, which I could only exorcise by continuing to write and write and ... in short, in long, I apologise, but it's done now (COMPLETED IT, MATE!) so here:


Chameleon Jacksody

Living the narc life
here in Southend-on-sea
lounging on sideboards,
posting chocolate and rinsing beans

Face-tuning thighs
and scampering about with glee
But I’m still poor so
I need your sympathy

My sauce is queasy cum
So much no
Milked that horse
Dry you know
Anyway the slop flows
Butter really matters
To-oo me.

Mama!
Oh, hi SB.
While I’m snoozing here in bed
Take some pics of my sweet head

Mama!
No, I’ve just begun!
“Catch me sleeping” for the ‘Gram
then go away

Mama!
Nooooooo-ooh!
Gotta rest my ouchy eyes.
If I’m not up again by lunch tomorrow
Curry on! curry on!
(As if mothering really matters)

Too late, long Covid’s come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body’s aching all the time
Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go
Gotta rest and heal and gently pat a floof

Mama! Ewwwwwww! (any way the slop flows)
I don’t want to die
I sometimes wish beef’d never been corned at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
(Oh, it’s you SB. I forgot you were here bro...)
Would you like this wet ham
in a nice risotto tea?
And some mayo
And some mayo
And some mayo
And some mayo
And more mayo
Innit tho
Give me some dough-oh-oh

I’m just a smol girl, nobody loves me
She’s just a smol girl, not at all scammily
Give her the cash that you need for heat!

Queasy cum, please Monroe - won’t you let this go?
Blue ticker! No – I will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Nigella! I will not let her go – let her go. (Let her go!)
Louisa! I will not let you go – (Let her go!)
Will not let you go - let her go!
Never let you go - let her go!
Oh oh oh oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh my Louisa, my Louisa, my Louisa, never go!

My Bubble Bud has a twinkle in her eye
For me
For me
For me!

[Brief head-banging break]
[Longer visit-to-emergency-room-for-SEVERE-concussion break]

So you think you can troll me and pick at my lies
So you think you can stake out my blurry roofline
Oh, ladies
I’m a’feared for my safety
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

(Not fair, not fair)

Narcing really matters
And getting stuff for free
Nothing else really matters
Nothing else really matters - to me

Anyway, send doggos …

 

[PoorPatrol]

This is why nobody should ever take even her most innocuous advice. It is the height of counter productiveness to just sit and stew, and to not even stop to make tea for the entire day. As a BUSY Frau who gets through many a piss and a sandwich on any given day, I can tell y’all that breaks give you a boost. Stop for a tea, go to the loo, and if I can’t get out I literally drink my tea leaning out of the window. When I get back in front of my laptop I feel refreshed and can see mistakes etc more clearly.

I may or may not be Tattling on aforementioned breaks. It’s private!!

 

[Sentient mirror]

Living for fake viggle and discarded gloves at the mo.

Thankyou, cabal.

I am also a fan of turbo viggle

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

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Damn i did the same thing recently and bought loads of hot Cheetos. Does this mean we share some taste buds?