Jack Monroe #134 Suffer the little squiggles, for I am The Poor

[colouredlines]

She does this all the time. A while back she was droning on about people getting their water and energy cut off giving the impression that there's nothing you can do about it when in fact there are quite strict rules about when this can happen and a lot of help available to empower people to challenge it and/or negotiate repayments to avoid it happening. She seldom promotes any advice service and never suggests people get their benefits checked to ensure they're maximising their income (there are millions of pounds in benefits sitting unclaimed). Nor does she promote any of the charitable grants out there than provide one off/short term help for people struggling. It's like she wants people to be poor and frightened, feeling like they have no way out which is both sick and dangerous.

If you were genuinely poor and following her, things would seem so bleak. No benefits ever available, all food boxes are shit, and 100s of DMs from people in abject misery. Not a glimmer of hope in sight...

...and to top it off, if you did escape from the poverty trap, you'd still have your rent bouncing years later and be living off slop for 20£ a week.

The only constructive suggestion I've ever seen her make is "buy my book for food banks". Hmm...

 

[Alansbigplate]

You should sell prints of these

My patreon starts at £5

 

[Pixieboots]

No sign of #thundercunt then.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

So...who's taking the picture, Jackie? I thought SHE LEFT!

View attachment 385011

SB sending a message 'Dad? Can you come and get me a bit earlier? She's been like this all afternoon and I've eaten all the Cinnamon Grahams'.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

She does this all the time. A while back she was droning on about people getting their water and energy cut off giving the impression that there's nothing you can do about it when in fact there are quite strict rules about when this can happen and a lot of help available to empower people to challenge it and/or negotiate repayments to avoid it happening. She seldom promotes any advice service and never suggests people get their benefits checked to ensure they're maximising their income (there are millions of pounds in benefits sitting unclaimed). Nor does she promote any of the charitable grants out there than provide one off/short term help for people struggling. It's like she wants people to be poor and frightened, feeling like they have no way out which is both sick and dangerous.

Absolutely this - she offers no hope or positivity to people, no constructive advice or signposting them to sources of help. She's actually depressing to read. I limit the amount of news that I read, particularly in Corona times, because of the depressing doom and gloom scaremongering that gets put out in the media. It's not healthy to soak that shit up all the time you know? The crap that Jack spouts is exactly like that, you'll either get angry reading it or feel even more hopeless. She does nothing proactive to help people in difficult and frightening situations. Worse than that, she's detrimental to them.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

After asking if people have seen any of this money - she’s studiously ignoring the squiggles who are saying that they HAVE had some support from their local councils. Some are making the point that it wasn’t specifically called ‘Corona virus winter grant’. They are pointing out that the info is there if people search for it and linking to council websites.

ETA just seen above - it seems one hero squig is doing the work and posting links to loads of councils

Yep hero squig seems lovely to spend the time doing that, not seen his profile though so touch wood not a neo nazi ey!

This is the worst Jack, panic invoking “we’re doomed” Jack. I hate the Tories as much as the next person but absolutely no good comes from scaring the people at the mercy of their policies? How is this activism?! Upsetting a mum that is holding out for that payment to buy new coats and shoes for her kids isn’t doing anyone any good, she’s a horrid ghoul.

Thankfully it’s not these mums following her, it’s great aunt Gertrude with 3 gardens RTing some factually inaccurate and poorly written JM tweets and feeling like she’s part of the #resistance

 

[MarzBarzie]

Thank you! I just find this interesting (given the timing).

 

[I’MBUSY!]

 

[Chablis1]

Oh that's an utter joy (also, so glad to hear you're 5G ready!) I got banned for 12 hours last year for sending a joke spam tweet to my mate 'Greetings of the day madam - plstb sending me your bank detailz" or something like that and whoosh - down on me like a ton of bricks. WHY HASN'T JACK BEEN BANNED??

Lol. I got a 12 hour ban for saying ‘cunt’ twice in a tweet. Apparently, you’re only allowed to say it once

 

[HarderFaster]

Yup get the kettle on, she’s still going. I measure my insomnia by whether @Puddy Muddle and @waffle maker come in whilst I’m still up (love you guys, but not insomnia)
She’s obsessed with this Vicky Tory now
Big surprise she is a Tory who has ££££ - Fancy!

Does she really want to pick at this scab? Someone get Laura Waddell on the phone and send her @Bumbear ’s awesome takedown of Jack’s annual accounts, and also the thing from the food blogger in thread #1 who earns £4-5k from ad revenue alone.

You earn 6 figures while begging from people who give their winter fuel allowance to you, Jackie. Just because you spunk most of it at Cotswold Co. and on £3k Smeg fridges doesn’t mean it isn’t money in the bank.

I long for the demise of her career and social media presence.

 

[queenfeline]

Well well well, look what we have here:

https://web.archive.org/web/2013020...-whistlestop-tour-of-how-to-fk-up-everything/

In the above link from May 2012, Jack mentions the following:

• She talks about being in the public eye, meeting Ed Miliband and the difference her blog is making. She talks of being stopped in in the street by complimentary and supportive strangers.
• She mentions leaving the fire service in November 2011. I assume she had 9 months maternity leave; does anyone know when her son was born?
• In the spring of 2012, she had at least two jobs: one in a pub for about a month, which she left because the hours she needed to work would have affected her working tax credit and housing benefit;
• And one in a coffee/art place for 12 days, before she was sacked from the job trial, for reasons unknown. She agonises over what these reasons might be, including her social awkwardness.
• She mentions she's trying to live on £1 a day.
• The job hunt continues.
• Most importantly, she says this: "I won’t stop until I am in a stable job that fits around my son, to prove to myself and every other single mother out there that it is worth it. Our Government says that being in work pays. You only have to flick back a few posts or to any highlighed in red to see the hell that I have put myself through in order to attempt to believe that tired old phrase. I could stay off work, claim my Housing Benefit, Child Support, Child Tax Credit, Income Support and Council Tax Benefit but I’m not going to. My small boy, aged only two, knows ‘Mummy work’ and knows he goes to ‘Sammys house’ because ‘Mummy work.’ Mummy work. Mummy will work, son. Mummy will set you a good example and Mummy will bring home the bacon, and Mummy will not stop documenting her hell-in-a-handcart journey until she can pay all of her bills, including accumulated debts since November, and prove that there is an end in sight. If I stop here, I have been beaten by a system. I dislike being beaten by anything, but especially dislike being beaten by a system."

So she purposefully held off on going on benefits, out of pride. Reason #83 why her "poverty" was a choice.
Also, I'm pretty sure that at some point in 2012 she got a steady job writing for a local paper. So The Poverty was less than a year, with some periods of employment.

Those highlighted portions to me are why I think Jack gets embraced by as the spokesperson for poverty, because she's projecting this idea that the poors just have to want to get off benefits and viola, it happens. Those who stay on benefits just don't have the drive and that's that and suddenly it becomes easier to vilify those who need benefits long-term. By saying, Mummy will set a good example, she's saying working is morally right, not being on benefits is morally right. Maybe I'm projecting, but I just truly cannot get over someone having that mentality and then acting like they speak for all people in poverty.

 

[jenny2603]

If you were genuinely poor and following her, things would seem so bleak. No benefits ever available, all food boxes are shit, and 100s of DMs from people in abject misery. Not a glimmer of hope in sight...

...and to top it off, if you did escape from the poverty trap, you'd still have your rent bouncing years later and be living off slop for 20£ a week.

The only constructive suggestion I've ever seen her make is "buy my book for food banks". Hmm...

Exactly, I won't distress anyone by spelling out the worst case scenario of where that kind of despair can lead but it absolutely does not need to be as bad as she makes out.

There is so much useful work she could do with her massive social media presence if she wasn't obsessed with centering herself in everything. I just wish her parents would sell one of their properties and buy the whining twat a forever home so she'd shut up and stop trying to ruin peoples lives.

 

[Debarkle]

Hello from the past. Like others I had to step away as I couldn’t bear to read her glee when her tweets were getting attention while she grabbed onto others’ coattails and tried to lay claim to a cause.

I fucking HOOTED when Marcus posted his letter and included Jamie fucking Oliver and not her. Maybe it’d help if she used his hashtags and didn’t try and use her own. Then we she missed her 8pm RT for the hashtag she ~founded~ ffs. Absolutely lol when she tried to make it look she was messaging Marcus about the paywall but actually it was Roadside Mum. The use of initials made me think she’d done a typo but no.

I’ve checked in occasionally to make sure I’m not losing my mind (I’m not) but it has taken all my willpower not to tweet my mutuals who are fawning over her and say I can tell they weren’t watching when she was cancer cosplaying, bursting a million Covid “bubbles”, kitten torture etc.

Slowly, gently catching up from Tuesday but to quote her she is absolutely shameless.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Got to admit, feeling a bit like a hypocritical wanker, for being amazed and disturbed at how much time Jack spends on Twitter, when I’ve been pretty much glued to Tattle for the last 3 days...I mean working on tattle for 20 hours a day. I am praying (Darren verse 12:4) she fucks off today so I can get some shit done.

Oh God, same, I feel like I've given up my entire week to watching this shitshow unfold.

 

[colouredlines]

I just managed to rewind on iplayer and catch this. I'll bypass the waffle and wobbly voice. Why does she insist on sabotaging herself? No-one is gonna want her back live after she's accused the prime minister of lying - it's not at all helpful to the situation being resolved regardless of whether it has any foundation or not.

I also don't understand how her internet is still this shit. She knows this is potentially part of her job if she wants to be a successful campaigner (as per her bio) so sort it out. She's had more then long enough.

Cooper was playing League of Legends in the other room

 

[Harrybosch]

Congratulations to @TheDragonWithAFlagon for the thread title! Your prize: Jack’s lunch.

Recap of thread #133

1. Jack made herself something indeterminable on rice.
2. She whatsapped Marcus so he didn’t have to pay to read The Times.
3. She was ‘fucking shaking with anger’.
4. Roadside Mum didn’t seem to be, despite being directly affected.
5. Jackie Maguire wrote a mission statement for key members of the government.
6. Apart from Boris Johnson because she tagged the wrong one.
7. And then she did a spoken word version.
8. She took ‘left wing’ off her Twitter bio.
9. Spoiler: Jack for Dummies

   [*]
   For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
   
   Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
   Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
   
   Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
   
   For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
   
   *** JACKISMS ***
   
   Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
   
   Yes, absolutely x
   
   Some other favourite Jack quotes:
   
   ‘Babe, same’
   ‘I did a chaos’
   ‘My maverick brain’
   ‘My sad little face’
   ‘I’m BUSY’
   ‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
   ‘I laughed up a lung’
   
   ** NEW **
   ‘Literally hella embarrassed AF’ about ‘Brexit and flip-flopping Covid flippancy’ and she ‘didn’t even vote for it’.
   
   She likes to describe herself as ‘puppyishly honest and naively enthusiastic’
   
   As of late November 2020, Jack conceded she is not poor, but living to a budget as she is saving for a forever home for her and SB.
   
   *****
   
   One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
   
   To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
   
   Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
   
   Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
   
   We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
   
   During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
   
   Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
   
   Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
   
   *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
   
   Also:
   

   • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
   • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
   • Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
   • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
   • ** NEW ** However, during Lockdown 2 (November 2020), a bubble buddy, ‘buddle’ (BB) came to stay with Jack. BB is pescatarian, cycles 200 miles a week, and works in London. Jack is teaching her to cook, while also using her as a figure of gentle ridicule. She cannot cook, she cannot iron, she cannot clean the television properly, she left the hose out and it got eaten by a fox, and she doesn’t know the difference between wet and dry ingredients.
   • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
   • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
   • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
   • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
   • She recently claimed she found her Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.

   [*]
   Use the pink link tab at the top of the thread to find Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, where you will find all episodes of Daily Kitchen Live.
   
   We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
   
   

   • Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words ‘thread title’, as it makes it easier to search. Just using the number won’t be enough. We also can’t have swears in the title, and try to hold off until around p. 40 for your suggestions, if possible. ThankYOU.

   [*][*]

And Poca does it again, to the deafening sound of the thunder clap. Brava!

 

[jenny2603]

It's alright, we can settle up later otherwise it just gets nasty.

The horse gif triggered a coughing fit. How can I possibly get all my conspiracy gitting done before bed when this website is not a COVID-safe workplace? I'm DMing Boris Johnson on Twitter about it now.

Be careful. I also sought to alert Boris Jonson to this outrage but accidentally launched my campaign at @B_0RIS_J0HNS0N_ instead. The guy is going ballistic in my DMs. Threatening to boot me square in both holes (face and arse- he hasn't noticed the other one yet).

 

[jenny2603]

Forgot to quote the relevant article, but friends at 24 who are wealthy enough to lend you money towards a rental deposit? Just say your parents paid it to keep you out of their worst nightmare - council housing!

Why does she feel the need to justify “only” having a 2 bed at 24? Her upbringing / value system is very..... Tory

She's a fucking idiot a council house would have been the best thing to have happened to her. Decent rent, option to buy it later on or save for a deposit to buy something better. I know council housing gets a bad rap, sometimes deservedly so but there is still some half decent stock left. It would certainly have been better than moving 5437927 times or whatever were on now.

 

[jenny2603]

I have definitely missed something.

I haven't seen anyone say to her you must work 10000 hour days. I have seen anyone overwork themselves. The rest have worked together threw out concise information, contacted the right people and carried on.

She's done it all to herself, because she keeps wanting to be involved, hoping to pick up something they have missed.

It's self indulgent shite. I could just about forgive her if any of it was actually achieving anything but it's just impotently screeching into the void cheered on by a chorus of halfwits. Almost everyone sympathetic to the issue of child poverty thinks the Tory government are awful, the bit we're trying to get to is how to push them towards being less awful so children at least get fed now. There is a much bigger issue around school food that needs addressed which is where Marcus Rashford, THAT MAN and co are going with the issue but that is years of work. Even a good sympathetic government who acknowledged the problem would need time to draw up and implement a policy.

Speaking of THAT MAN his school dinners campaign ended with the government pledging an additional £280 million to school food provision. It hasn't solved the all the problems by any stretch but it was a decent step forward and it's not even his life's work. Jack seems to think she has a right to be in his position so perhaps she could highlight some of her achievements so we can compare.

 

[Alansbigplate]

And can we assume that for said £5 we get absolutely bollock all except empty promises and copious excuses?

Could you just wait til my assistant is back from furlough