Jack Monroe #134 Suffer the little squiggles, for I am The Poor

[jenny2603]

She had to do a fake sleeping selfie because someone probably threatened to report her as an unfit mother to the CPS in America for being awake for 58 hours.

And yes we are building to a huge crash/poor me/I’m exhausted/ I can’t sign the letters to the PM I’m not well/oh the abusive emails
although she was smart enough to leave long covid alone

Somewhere in Wyoming a harassed worker at the CPS has phoned home "sorry honey, I'm going to be late again, the boss is bustin' my ass about the Monroe case. I can't even find Essex on the map but they want want me to visit Shitty Bungalow and shoot the mom with a tranquilliser dart. They say she's howled for seven days straight."

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

She's liked Marcus Rashford's tweet about the letter but hasn't retweeted it.

Her name's not on it - why would she want to give other people the credit for their work?

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Imagine sending a fraction of your stuff to your patreons crayzee times

 

[Peachy9]

So, SB would've just turned 2 at that point. When did she fit her time in the coffee bars with the fire service? Surely, you'd have been better keeping the coffee shop job - still shift work, but more family friendly hours - and topping up any shortfall with tax credits, instead of packing in all your jobs and being broke?

Also, degree? Please. I don't mean that in a snobby way either (I've got one and done precisely fuck all with my life tbh) it's just not something that needs to be lied about, that's all. Why make stuff like that up, you'll only look very silly when people find out it isn't true.

Dear Edwina Currie: Jack Monroe's open letter after Big Benefits Row Live clash

Campaigner and blogger Jack Monroe says the former Tory MP would rather shout down opponents than hear what poverty is really like in Britain

www.google.com

This open letter she wrote in 2014 to Edwina Curry specifically states "I went to work, in a shop, at the age of 16. No degree, no Oxbridge education, no feet on ladders, no family business to inherit – just me and about £5.85 an hour."


She cannot stop lying!!! About the shittest of things

 

[lalalanded]

Lol. I got a 12 hour ban for saying ‘cunt’ twice in a tweet. Apparently, you’re only allowed to say it once

I got a permanent ban and I'm still really pissed off about the whole thing so I've come off twitter for good (would recommend). It was last year after the GE when Jess 'rent a gob' Phillips was calling or unity and hand holding after the GE. I tweeted back at her the now infamous quote of hers 'I won't stab you in the back, I'll stab you in the front' - with quotation marks and I got banned for threatening an MP. It was her own words in quotation marks!!!

 

[Boyo]

Could you just wait til my assistant is back from furlough

Oh my god, of course. I’m so sorry. I know it’s not your fault. You do so much for others, not just your amazing gifs but just that you’ve got such a big heart. It’s my fault really. I’m so selfish. If you dm me your PayPal, I’d happily give you something to keep the wolf from the door. I don’t have much though but I’ll give what I can. I live in a cave, on a fictitious coastline, just outside Whatchamacallit. I know! I’ll sell a kidney! I’m sure I’ve read about that somewhere. You just keep doing what you’re doing please. It’s SO important. I’m insignificant. We all are. It’s all about you.
PS If you have any spare philosopher’s stones, I’d gladly pay through the nose for one, just so I can look youthful too. This snake oil I got off eBay isn’t doing anything. I look worse than your older, rougher sister.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I almost (but not quite) feel sorry for her over being left off the letter, it was clearly intentional not an an oversight. If she hadn’t behaved like an embarrassing, manic, self serving twat for the past three days I think she would have been asked to get involved. She’s done this to herself with her own hubris.

This morning the BBC have had Tom Kerridge and a woman I’ve never seen before on to talk about this issue. The woman came across as sane and intelligent, exactly the sort of interviewee the beeb want. Jack’s swivel eyed loon rants haven’t done her any good have they?

 

[HarderFaster]

The sheer pigheadedness of her flying monkey brigade is astonishing. Left wing account with large following who I SSed the other day still getting told off last night despite never mentioning Jack by name and the brouhaha being long done with. Sorry for slight confusion but they both thread tweets as replies:

The way they snitch tag Jack in is just astounding: are they trying to upset her or do they just enjoy seeing her intervene in that weird mode she goes into which is simultaneously attack dog and victim? Must say, though, “I retracted nothing” is hilarious and more conviction than JM herself will ever show.

 

[Lanie]

Someone earlier said who takes a nap across two chairs.

Is a plank the answer?

 

[jenny2603]

What Jack doesn't know is that tomorrow there will be a knock at the door. On her doorstep will be a man from Sarfend Caaannncil holding a giant novelty cheque and hoping to secure the services of the People's Urchin to make some proper grub for the little kiddies. What the man from the Caaannncil doesn't know is that Jack howls and claws the carpet when she hears the door before curling up into a ball and rolling about like a wild marble. The sad little faces of the children when the realise the beautiful princess urchin Jack of farts won't be feeding them after all is sure to be heartbreaking.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[moosesauna]

I’m obsessed with the archives. Reading the list of things sold in the big sale. Who owns all this aged 24?!?https://web.archive.org/web/20130115205116/http://agirlcalledjack.com/category/comment/
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Vintage suitcases? Denby? Reading armchair?? Sounds more country than council estate to me, but maybe I'm just not poor enough to understand ...

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

PLEASE don’t tag me directly BE KIND I was feeding children like Jesus would have wanted with potato smiles and fish fingers and beans

Ive actually been working behind the scenes with @Alansbigplate

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Yes the newsreader did seem to dismiss her quite abruptly!

Another thing she’ll never be asked back on.

Check!

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Yup get the kettle on, she’s still going. I measure my insomnia by whether @Puddy Muddle and @waffle maker come in whilst I’m still up (love you guys, but not insomnia)
She’s obsessed with this Vicky Tory now
Big surprise she is a Tory who has ££££ - Fancy!

So what is she suggesting then, just scrap the role that person does so the salary can be used for the children? It's always her way of arguing isn't it, as she can't seem to look any deeper. Pick out a politician, state how much they earn, and act all outraged. It's such basic thinking, and no better than the dramatics you'd get from a DM article. In fact you'd probably get better critical analysis from a DM article.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I obviously don’t know her parents IRL but everything I’ve ever read about them makes them sound the opposite of people who would leave Jack to live like she claims she did. They also seem like the type of people who would notice large items of furniture suddenly disappearing from her flat, her selling her possession, it being so cold they needed 75 layers etc.

I agree, and the thing which has always stood out for me in her tale of living in a cold, empty flat was the time she wrote about the Christmas she spent drinking Strong Brew (or whatever). Apparently her poverty was so severe she sent SB to his dad's (surely a fairly normal ocurrance at Christmas time) and therefore was alone on Christmas Day. Why would she not be invited round to her parents' house??

 

[Alansbigplate]

Their work pales in comparison to our Jack's...

 

[Lanie]

She's completely unhinged. I'm worried for her. She needs help NOW!

This image may never leave me.

You're so welcome.

 

[Scarletfever]

One week, one fucking week. HOW IS SHE STILL A THING?

Best for Britain must be over the moon they teamed up with her. They're stuck doing this performative crap every Thursday now

Any word on the Del Monte brand partnership or is it dead in the water too?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I was hesitant about sharing this one, because I don't want it to become the new born in 1978. Jack clearly does not secretly have a degree. Instead, I present this purely as evidence of her being a compulsive liar (and one who clearly thinks she's better than pub work, despite famously being qualified to do fuck all):

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