Jack Monroe #127 No-spend year

[Sausage Surprise !]

“Jack, I’ve got two pints of lager and a packets of crisps, what can I do with them?”

This wins the internet for the day I tried to insert a humorous gif but failed at that too,having a mare today! At some point I was hoping to have a comedy sausage as my avatar but I fear that may be beyond me !

 

[Vanilla Sorbet]

I’m from Northern Ireland. I can remember taking a trip over to Blackpool about 2013 to go to pleasure beach and the b&b we were in served tinned plum tomatoes as part of the breakfast. My partner who is also from NI informed me this is a common thing in north west of England. He went to uni in Preston. Is this correct?

My family do this and we're in Scotland!

 

[jenny2603]

Anything more interesting than making them into chopped tomatoes? Sure, make them into chopped tomatoes.

It's superb, what next? "Jack I have some pasta that needs using up and I'm looking for suggestions that don't involve tomatoes". "Boil it up and slather it unctuously with canned tomatoes, lard, herbs (any kind) and fruit cocktail, I call this cheeky little number Pump Me Pasta"

 

[Incywincy]

Anything more interesting than making them into chopped tomatoes? Sure, make them into chopped tomatoes.

Thread title suggestion: You Say Plum Tomaytoes, I Say Chopped Tomahtoes

 

[Montrachet]

At some point I was hoping to have a comedy sausage as my avatar but I fear that may be beyond me !

 

[Scarletfever]

Nah we can start a spoof religion devoted to it. Every year on Jacks birthday we can gather round it it for a celebratory howl 'n' claw before ceremonially burning a sideboard and distributing tins to the needy.

The power of slop compels you!

 

[Blurp]

Why would her 'friend' ask her for advice when she seems incapable of even understanding that children moving between households is not any form of bubble? It is merely them living in their own homes, which the Government website has made the distinction on since almost day 1. I thought we had been through all this?

'Forensic'.

I'm actually surprised that she managed to get 4 1/2 GCEs or whatever; she really appears spectacularly thick at times. She seems to have intellectually peaked at ten and emotionally around five years later.

 

[waffle maker]

Sorry, I hope I’m not derailing but she’s mentioned her sibling (tenuous link incoming)

It’s bothered me for a long time that as foster carers, her parents would of been privy to all the latest training on child development, behaviour strategies, how real adhd and spectrum disorders are. How not to label behaviour as just naughty but look at the reasons / difficulties a child was having socially / academically and so on.

But she states that they found out she was autistic or was it she had adhd as a child but her foster caring trained parents dismissed it out of hand. No follow up, no falling back on the ongoing training to help their own biological child. It just doesn’t ring true or if it does then as foster carers you could assume that they could have failed in their duty of care to support vulnerable children coming into their home.

I’m sorry if it’s spectacularly off track but it’s been niggling me for ages and these threads tend to move at pace. I’ve read a lot of fostering memoirs and they’ve always accessed and jumped through hoops to support the children they’ve cared for that I find it impossible to believe her parents as foster carers wouldn’t of done the same for jack (their biological child)

Quality varies wildly depending on the quality of foster carers and the local authority. It’s really hard to get decent foster carers, harder to keep them. Educational outcomes for kids in care are astonishingly bad. In my last job there were some years when not a single child in care would get the minimum 5 A-Cs at GCSE.
Some long term foster carers very much see it as a job/ career, and will be in it for the (small) financial benefits. Some are clearly there for their own ‘rescue’ fantasies. I met some amazing foster carers over the years, plenty of bonkers ones, and too many terrible/ actual baddie ones.

 

[Blurp]

I'm still catching up but how many siblings does Jack have? I'm guessing she has a lot of random people she can use for clout due to her family fostering. And yeah, they only come out when she wants to use them for clout. She talks about her mum and dad a lot, but not the rest of the family.

I seem to remember something about her having a black brother around the time of BLM, but again, I could be plucking that out of thin air.

In his interview about fostering, her father mentioned four children. I think the younger two are adopted and there were various long-term foster children throughout the years.

 

[waffle maker]

Mr waffle maker and our kids always have plum tomatoes in a cooked breakfast but it is morally wrong.

Love to all you lockdown ninnies. It has made my phone go crazy in the night because I work at a British Curriculum international school and the students do GCSEs and A Levels. If the exams are cancelled it affects us too. On the bright side, my mum will have something to talk about on the weekly zoom call.

 

[TVC15]

That is why she's always playing up to the stereotypes that the rest of us keep actively fighting against: she doesn't know what the duck she's talking about.

I know opinions on this vary within the community but I personally feel that if I was only autistic on Twitter and otherwise neurotypical I'd consider myself very fortunate.

You’re right and it’s shocking.

Hmm, second paragraph has left me in existential gridlock. A person would definitely be more privileged, if not very fortunate, to be otherwise neurotypical. I think that would mean that person is a delusional/professional online pretender, though. Sounds like hell.

 

[Tabitha D]

Jack's here to save us.

View attachment 371939

Stop trying to make Lockdown Larder happen, Jack.

 

[Aug1977]

Cheeky bleep! She was posting pictures of empty shelves which are undeniably panic inducing? She’s travelled the country for leisure? Shut the duck up no wonder ur hands are so hench when all you do is chat hypocritical tit on Twitter

Hench hands has just made me giggle so much I now need a poo.

 

[TVC15]

She's a pile of tit, isn't she? I want to say something like "sending hugs" but that's so shite too. But... y'know what I mean

Yeah, what a turd, eh? I get you. To be fair, I really got things sorted even though the local teens keep roasting me. My credit isn’t too bad, butter’s in the fridge, and there isn’t a whole gossip site mocking how awful all of choices continue to be.

I got to witness the sudden long COVID in real time, and it was liberating. All doubt eliminated. What a stinking turd. Pardon my language.

 

[Tabitha D]

It's all such a lark to her isn't it. I am beside myself this evening with this announcement as many will be.

Feel like pure tit, just wish JM would shut the duck up.jpg

She’s remarkably perky isn’t she? Especially for someone who just a few days ago had a case of the very-worst-ever “106 degree” Covid.
It’s almost as if she never actually had Covid at all.

 

[ScamSandwich]

So glad I saw this. I was just about to go to the supermarket and strip the shelves but thanks to Jack I'll use up what I have at home first and only buy what I need when I need it.

I would like to advise you that next time you ask her for advice on Twitter with complex issues like that. She knows and centuries ago she would have sat at the fire gathering people round and share her wisdom. Olden days squigs to hang on to her lips and if hay would work in a recipe, looking at her with eyes wide open, shiny from the flickering flames.
This time you were lucky but next time pls consult her.
(Nooooo, I am not encouraging a break of Tattle rules !!)

Someone recently asked what she would have done before the internet existed. Well, I remember those types you had to escape from real quick when you spotted them in local shops, because they would tell you their LIST of ailments, why they couldn't lift and do other things and they would never let you go.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

I get a horrible feeling she is absolutely loving this tit. Makes her feel important.
Today has been a good day for her - inserting herself into Twitter spats (whilst pretending to be the voice of reason ) and the prospect of St Jack of the Unholy Slop single handedly advising people what to do with a half sucked Opal Fruit and and packet of Wotsits.

I was thinking this earlier, even before L word. She's been on it all day. Her sheer glee is distressing and just completely weird! Hope to phooey she's forgotten most of it tomorrow...like she does with every other crappity thing she says.

Her response gives me anxiety tbh, am aware I’m insane for even thinking this but the fear of knocking a single shard of tin into the tomato mix by stabbing it about would simply be all too much? Just put it in a bowl and wash it up ffs?!

(Am aware no one has yet died from ingesting a microscopic shard of tin but you don’t want to be the first do u)

I love tinned plum tomatoes and would happily swig them straight from the tin. With the whole ones simply insert a small pair of scissors in to the tin and chop around, stirring as you go.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I get a horrible feeling she is absolutely loving this tit. Makes her feel important.
Today has been a good day for her - inserting herself into Twitter spats (whilst pretending to be the voice of reason ) and the prospect of St Jack of the Unholy Slop single handedly advising people what to do with a half sucked Opal Fruit and and packet of Wotsits.

She SO gets on my nerves doing the morally upstanding member of society, preaching and praising good citizens who are future nurses while she is in the bun(ker)galow doing war broadcasting to liften people's spirit. Such a shift from smol apparent long covid Jack.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Only the cabal will get this.

 

[Aug1977]

So glad I saw this. I was just about to go to the supermarket and strip the shelves but thanks to Jack I'll use up what I have at home first and only buy what I need when I need it.

Me too. I have done some minor stockpiling because I’m a shielder but Jack‘s made me realize I’m actually a massive bleep to do this, so obviously the only right and proper course of action is to immediately courier it all straight to the crappy bungalow. Enjoy my smol stock of gluten-free bread, oats and pasta and split lead that I secreted away because the shops ran out during the first lockdown and, as a coeliac, I struggled to have a decent meal. I know your need is greater than mine, Jack.