Jack Monroe #127 No-spend year

[Captainmouse]

She has my blood pressure through the roof today.

Her lockdown experience is not the worst and she's a bleep for implying it is. She sits on twitter all day long posting utter horseshit, taking breaks for long dino naps, ignoring her work, her patreons who fund this clownshow, and her child!

#thread title her poor patreons who fund her clown show

 

[Tabitha D]

View attachment 373132
She is utterly insufferable.

HOW. MANY. TIMES. has she done this “I’m compiling a list of resources” thing? I’ve lost count. There was homeschooling, burn out, sleep, independent shops, and those are just what I can remember off the top of my head.
Did any of these lists ever appear? NO THEY DID NOT.
She is absolutely bleeping useless.

 

[Veronicaaa]

It's a really good one, second part tonight

I know, I've just finished watching it. I couldn't stop laughing whenever the woman came on screen because thanks to @heretoreaditall2019 I was thinking about Jack the whole time, lol. Terrifying, though!

 

[Scarletfever]

HOW. MANY. TIMES. has she done this “I’m compiling a list of resources” thing? I’ve lost count. There was homeschooling, burn out, sleep, independent shops, and those are just what I can remember off the top of my head.
Did any of these lists ever appear? NO THEY DID NOT.
She is absolutely bleeping useless.

She should compile a list of ways to procrastinate. It would be comprehensive at least.

 

[Pixieboots]

Saw this, felt familiar.

 

[Veronicaaa]

HOW. MANY. TIMES. has she done this “I’m compiling a list of resources” thing? I’ve lost count. There was homeschooling, burn out, sleep, independent shops, and those are just what I can remember off the top of my head.
Did any of these lists ever appear? NO THEY DID NOT.
She is absolutely bleeping useless.

She loves *announcing* that she's going to do something, but once the high wears off the thought of actually *doing* what she's announced seems to evaporate.

 

[Walkdengirl]

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Just eat the bleeping custard

 

[kachoochoo]

restfully adds lockdown list of services to List. softly, gently, ensuring that i don't send it to anyone else

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Tabitha D]

She loves *announcing* that she's going to do something, but once the high wears off the thought of actually *doing* what she's announced seems to evaporate.

See also: The Thrifty Shades of Beige postcards, to be sent out weekly. It’s not clear whether they’ve EVER been sent out.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

See also: The Thrifty Shades of Beige postcards, to be sent out weekly. It’s not clear whether they’ve EVER been sent out.

Fifty squares of beige?

Where are they?



ETA incorrect gif. Mortified. Stupid phone won’t let me change it. Apologies to those who love their gifs.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I think my favourite thing about this site is when we use the triangle emoji about something that anyone could do. It absolutely always makes me chuckle, even when I'm trying to work out whether 350 students have to come in for an exam tomorrow *triangle emoji*

Babe, same! It makes me laugh every single time, also when the wooden ruler triangle appears. I need to add it to my posts more often but I can never find it..

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Could you imagine of BB gets an award in the next round for news services during lockdown or soemthing. ACTUAL LOL

Yes!!! I’d give her a dame-hood for services to comedy, thanks to her Brexit Tin thievery.
We need this.

(sincerest apologies to @Silver Linings, and to The Queen)

 

[HotesTilaire]

Why not just tell people about the olio app?
Weird food - -give it away
Opened it but didn’t like it- give it away
Worried about people not having access to a hot meal- cook one and give it away
Oh yeah...no profit in working with them

 

[Walkdengirl]

View attachment 373132
She is utterly insufferable.

Same as last lock down I would imagine

 

[colouredlines]

Ugh, there was a thing on Tattle earlier about how to get easy traffic on SM (may be hete, may be Celebrity thread...)
Apparently the absolute easiest way of getting likes and retweets is to post a list of helplines.
People think they're helping others by retweeting it (especially during pandemic) but in reality the 'star' is just getting lots of traction.

I despise this. It's like those copy/paste Facebook statuses people do of "if you're depressed, talk to me!" No thanks, I'd rather not feed into your hero complex.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I don’t want us to go to court, I want us to be called to an inquiry like on the Thick of it, where they read out the emails about Mr Tickel (rip) and they piss themselves because, well, they are hilarious

 

[ScamSandwich]

And then they would be told to put the Langoustine into a blender with some curry powder and simmer it for three days in a bucket with a tin of Del Monte peaches and some potato peelings, the preserved lemons should be added to a sweet rice pudding with curry powder and half a Curly Wurly, the block of Pecorino should be boiled with a used teabag and half a stale mince pie, then topped with a bag of mixed botulism and the pasta should be poached in bleach to get the colour out before adding to tinned pears. With some curry powder to taste, naturally.

Hi, thanks for this. Would it have to be a thrice used teabag?

Why is everything cooked long and slow? Why doesn't she grasp that tinned chickpeas are already cooked and don't need 30 minutes to soften? WTF is a "slow slow cook"? Paella rice takes about 20 min to cook. If you overcook it, or drown it in too much liquid, it's bleeping gross. She knows nothing about cooking FFS.

On the one hand, I would like DKL to come back without Jack, just to piss her off. On the other, the flying monkey attacks that would await her replacement are a poisoned chalice I wouldn't wish on anyone!

Exactly, what if you want to eat NOW (30 mins including prep) and not in 8 hours?
What if you MIGHT fancy something solid?

 

[Eurgh]

STOP TRYING TO MAKE BIRCHER HAPPEN!

 

[DandyLion]

Lockdown Larder was a flawed concept from the beginning, but now it's frankly ludicrous.

I can answer all lockdown larder questions in three simple statements.

1. Throw it away. You don't have to like every single ingredient.
2. Please plan your shopping in future and don't add food items you don't like or eat to your basket.
3. Google it.

I must say Harry, you’re not being very sensitive to the Squiggles who rely on food banks. They can’t pick and choose what they get given and often end up with a selection of random tins that get shoved to the back of the cupboard. Luckily, I’m a few years on from being in that situation, but please do bear in mind that not everyone has the luxury of being able to choose their own groceries.